To do this crazy sleeping arrangement

[sleepingsecondhand]

It is strange and I’m sure I’ll get many posts saying it’s strange but if it gets me more sleep I don’t think I care.

We have a four bed house, three good sized bedrooms, one small room.

DH snores, badly, and for a myriad of other reasons we just don’t sleep well together so we don’t do it. So at the moment we have

DH in a double bed in bedroom 1
Me in a double bed in bedroom 2
DS (aged 3, almost 4) in a single bed in bedroom 3
And in theory DD (aged 15 months) in a cot in bedroom 4.

DD appears to hate the cot. I probably should sleep train her but it’s going to be horrible and will have to go for full cry it out which obviously in itself is controversial but ‘gentler’ methods won’t be gentle, she’ll never settle if I’m in the room with her.

However she sleeps OK in a bed. Last week DH was away and I just let her sleep in his double bed and she slept through.

I am considering just letting her sleep in my bed and buying a single bed for her room and sleeping in that myself until she’s old enough to go in a bed. I know it sounds a bit mad but seems the best alternative to cry it out at the moment.

Put some cushions round the bed if worried.

Do what you need to do to get some sleep. I'd give up my bed and sleep in the shed if it would get my toddler to sleep through. It's not mad at all. You'll have to buy a single bed sooner or later anyway. Toddler beds are a waste of money.

@SnoopysHoose not if they're a snorer 😂

Go the montessori way and get a floor bed.we have one for the spare room for our baby Granddaughter and she loves it so much she has one in her own room at home now.shes almost 2.

My DC went straight from cot to double. Lots of advantages to it, though my main reason was because I ended up cosleeping a lot.

Will you end up resenting being stuck in the tiny room while your DH gets the best room though?

Wherever you can get the most sleep is the answer. Sleep in a health care thing.

It’s totally fine. Do whatever works for you and your family and don’t ask anyone else’s view. We put our DC in their own double at that age. It was all fine.

Floor bed in the small room - I used Ikea bed slats underneath a mattress.

Put a single mattress on the floor

Try taking the side off her cot if that’s possible with yours. Stick a couple of pillows on the ground next to it. It should be low enough that she won’t injure herself if she does fall out. It might not work but it’s probably the cheapest easiest option so worth trying first.

I’d put the kids in together. She might just hate being alone

Many years ago we were redecorating and my eldest, then about the same age as your dd, sat on a single mattress on the floor of the room being done up. It wasn't even his room. That child ended up sleeping on that single mattress on the floor until we literally removed it age 9! He absolutely loved it. Slept straight through from that day. Even now, you will always find him sitting or lying on the floor. Look, whatever works to get sleep (and is safe) go for it.

We’re not having a floor bed - I know I sound a bit short but it would be good if people didn’t keep pushing it.

At the moment it’s very much cry it out in the cot or she sleeps in a bed away from me (I am co sleeping out of force at the moment but I hate it and neither of us are getting much rest.)

Mattress on the floor in her brother's room. She can come to you if needed, or you can nap there with her. I've done that, and it works well. Everyone gets maximum amount of sleep.

Did you read the original post? 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Agree. Mine were fine in a low bed with a guard rail from that age. We had thick carpet with a soft rug. Fell out once or twice but weren’t hurt. In fact, didn’t even wake up! Agree, cots can be more dangerous as they learn to climb out.

She could also sleep in bed with you or your DH.

Do people still leave kids to cry themselves to sleep? I thought that was an old 60s/70s thing. Even 20 years ago, ours slept with us when babies and once they were old enough to go to sleep in their own bed, we sang to/sat with them until they nodded off.

She's 15 months - is she a physical 15 months like mine were (walking around, refusing buggies and high chairs, insisting on carrying lemonade bottles from the shopping (or any other heavy thing) etc.

If so, she'll be fine in a normal bed (like one with legs, rather than a high divan) - rug/carpet in case she does fall out.

At 15 months some babies are basically toddlers, and some are still definitely babies - where is she on that scale?

I don't think it's hugely unusual. My DC have had double beds since they were small. They're useful for multiple reasons.

I wouldn't as an adult give up my own double for a toddler though unless there was really no other option. Try her in the single first with a bed guard and maybe some cushions on the floor. Having had wiggly toddlers in doubles, singles and cot beds they don't seem any more or less likely to fall out of any of them.

Second this! My 18 month old is in a double montessori floorbed and she sleeps through all night and loves getting herself in and out of it in the morning.

I’d try a toddler bed for her first. Pop some pillows on the floor and what you’re likely to find is she’ll fall out the first couple of nights then get used to the space and won’t continue to fall out. Got to be worth a try first before you give up your double bed.

@EdithBond not habitually but I think you do get to the point where you have to. I have left DD a few times, sometimes when I’ve been so flustered and annoyed I’ve needed a break and other times when she’s been overstimulated by my presence. As with most things it is something you judge on the context of everything else going on at that time.

I think what often happens on these threads is that people can’t really understand some babies aren’t soothed by your mere presence, both mine have had to be held in some way, so if you’re holding them they fall asleep but wake up angry the second they are put into the cot.

Was it smell I wonder? Feeling soothed by the smell of a caregiver, even when they're not actually there?

I don’t mind everyone having a double bed, that would be ideal, but room size there is just not an option for that. She might be OK in the single but I do think the chances of her falling out are very high.

We had a mattress under a single bed (I think it was on a trundle but it would be ok with just a normal mattress too) and would pull this out half way at night, so if this was a fall it would be a very soft one. Plus a bed guard.
At 15 months I'd just sleep with her before is try CIO, but if she would sleep in a bed on her own then it's worth a go. Watch she can't just get up herself, leave the room and go down stairs though.

@sleepingsecondhand you think a mattress on the floor is “not very nice” but you’re happy to let your child cry until she passes out with exhaustion?