To do this crazy sleeping arrangement

[sleepingsecondhand]

It is strange and I’m sure I’ll get many posts saying it’s strange but if it gets me more sleep I don’t think I care.

We have a four bed house, three good sized bedrooms, one small room.

DH snores, badly, and for a myriad of other reasons we just don’t sleep well together so we don’t do it. So at the moment we have

DH in a double bed in bedroom 1
Me in a double bed in bedroom 2
DS (aged 3, almost 4) in a single bed in bedroom 3
And in theory DD (aged 15 months) in a cot in bedroom 4.

DD appears to hate the cot. I probably should sleep train her but it’s going to be horrible and will have to go for full cry it out which obviously in itself is controversial but ‘gentler’ methods won’t be gentle, she’ll never settle if I’m in the room with her.

However she sleeps OK in a bed. Last week DH was away and I just let her sleep in his double bed and she slept through.

I am considering just letting her sleep in my bed and buying a single bed for her room and sleeping in that myself until she’s old enough to go in a bed. I know it sounds a bit mad but seems the best alternative to cry it out at the moment.

@Nanny0gg
OP stated we never share a bed

It’s nobody else’s business tbh. If it suits you now, then go for it. As long as everyone is getting their needs met.

You clearly didn't have a snorer for a bedfellows.

Another one who thinks ger your DD a mattress on the floor. Much safer than a double bed she could roll out of in the night, even if propped up by pillows

I'd be happier having her at floor level or with a bed guard but if you're sure the pillows are enough and the rest of her bedding is safe, that's your call.

We sleep separately and the adults have the largest and smallest rooms so you using the smallest room for a while doesn't sound at all bonkers to me.

Well, it's not what I'd do. I'd put her in a small double in room 4. Without the cot in there, I'd put it against one wall. Her old cot mattress on the floor (there should be room, if not pillows) Beds aren't high and she'll soon get to 'know' where the edge of the bed is in her sleep.

But, if you're happy to sleep in the single in her room & let her have your bed, that's up to you. But I don't think she's ever going to be chuffed about moving from your big room/ big bed to a single room/bed. So it's just delaying the problem IMO.

cant she swap with DS?

@RampantIvy
I do and he or I go off to the spare room when needed.

I’m definitely not going for the mattress on the floor option - I remember people kept pushing me to do this with DS and it didn’t work and never felt very nice to be honest.

DS is settled and happy in his room - feels mean to move him out and would be a lot of decorating.

My daughter went into a bed at 6 months. She could throw herself over the side of the cot (and did - frequently). So Into the bed she went. I put the cot mattress on the floor next to the bed in case of falling

My ds hated a cot from about 13 months so.we moved him into a toddler bed. We put a stair gate on the bedroom door. We found him asleep on the floor a few times but he slept through and was much happier.

Buy a new single bed frame, which is low to the ground. Our four-poster is like that and we bought it deliberately because it was easier when DS used to co sleep with me.

It is a bit of an anomaly in the animal kingdom that infants don’t sleep with their mother/adults and humans only are ‘supposed’ to sleep next to each other when they are adults. I can’t think of any other mammal species that does this.

My second went into a double bed with his brother at about a year with no issues (we'd co-slept, and that child had no trouble asserting his presence in the bed - this is why we moved him, he was kicking us both out)

In fact his elder brother also hated cots, so went straight from co-sleeping to a mattress on the floor (next to our bed) then into a toddler bed.

Now he has a double bed - he's always preferred plenty of room around him, and strongly resented when he was expected to sleep in a single bed (we moved house a lot).

I guess I'm saying that there's no need to follow 'the rules' - if it works for you and the family, give her the double! But, you might be making a rod for your own back there and she'll always expect it :D

My ds went almost straight to a single mattress on the floor from a Moses basket. He had sleep apnoea and needed a lot of comfort and that way either dh or I could lay with him and comfort him. He loved it and slept much better than he did in the Moses basket or cot that we tried for a week. Then when he hit 18 months we got him a toddler bed frame, he moved to a standard single bed at 2.5.

Ultimately you've not made a crazy suggestion - I was expecting to read you suggesting a dog crate or something 🤣

We never bothered with a cot. Just started with a low mattress for dc. Child proof the room instead.

I don’t really mind staying in the single bed for the foreseeable; at the moment I just want to sleep, but I’m aware a toddler having a double bed is unusual! I wish her room was bigger as I’d just buy her one.

Smiling at dog crate - it’s tempting!

If you are the one dealing with night wakes then you keep a double bed. You may need at some point to actually be in the same bed if she’s sick etc.

The snoring husband - who is actually the reason for everyone sleeping apart and needing all four rooms to be used! - takes the single. That leaves the maximum amount of bed-hopping space available. He’s sleeping through all this? He doesn’t get a double room too!

People are being bizarrely obtuse about @SnoopysHoose 's comment. 😄

You'll need to buy a single bed for her at some point anyway, so why not just get it now and use it yourself for the time being if that works for everyone. Doesn't seem that crazy if it means you can all sleep.

My DS was a little spider monkey and used to shimmy up the cot bars and throw himself out from 9 months old, so I put him in a single bed and got side rails to stop him rolling out.

Honestly, I thought Snoopy was the obtuse one, so I just ignored it. I didn’t want or to be honest expect to suddenly start being quizzed about my sex life in a thread about my child’s sleep!

I would do it but with a floor bed and sleeping bag while she's so little incase she fell out or ended up under the pillows.

My son used to thrash about and wake himself up when he was that age.
We put a mattress on the floor and he slept better on that.
I wouldn't use lots of pillows though

Life is too short to keep asking what should you do in your own home. Just make sure everyone is calm, happy and sleeps. We are not in your house, so it is not our business telling you

The next stage would be a normal toddler bed which comes with sides atleast halfway along. And is quite low to the floor .
Not an adult bed just so you get a good night's sleep