Is this all just friendly, or am I being paranoid?

[Theyu4]

I have a work colleague (London/banking) who has become very close with me over the years. I can’t work out if he’s genuinely nice to me for no reason or if there’s more to it. Perhaps my judgement is clouded by the fact that many “friendly men” in my career ended up making a move on me, etc.
He has been a lifesaver at work. We support each other; he helps me, and I help him. He’s always there for me.
But I can’t shake the feeling there’s more in it: for instance, I have another senior member of the department commenting on our close relationship, he comes to my desk a lot to chat, he calls me on the pretext of work and can easily talk for 40 mins, he compliments me on my work performance, he told me a lot of deeply personal things. But equally, we never text outside work hours, and he never said anything inappropriate. The thing is that he’s not like this with others at all at work. Lately, he’s been involving me in his projects and client meetings when that’s not essential.
The other day, he came to my desk and said, "I saw you smiling, and you looked happy, so I wanted to say I am glad you are." Maybe this could be acceptable for an extroverted individual but not for a 50-something introverted married man.

Should I lean in and let him be there for me or keep my guard up? Maybe my past experiences are clouding my judgment.

For context, we are both at the same level at work.

Sounds nice.

If it's at the stage where you and others are wondering if there's more to it, then I'd probably take a gradual back step. Having work banter, the odd chat about the weekend, home life, kids etc is normal. But commenting on you looking happy is a bit...strange.

From what you've said, I suspect he feels more and for that reason, I'd withdraw and reinstate more professional boundaries.

There’s more to it. Blatantly.

Given he’s married and presumably you’re not interested in a relationship with him I’d start keeping him at arms length and shutting down “deeply personal” conversations.

He’s married so I’d be wary. Personally I’d be wondering how his wife would feel about the way he speaks to you.

My best friend is like that. The best human being on planet earth and has a rare ability to make every person he comes across feel like a million dollars. I absolutely adore him but neither of us ever made a move and we are both happy in our respective relationships.

That’s lovely x
My work friend is treating me like this only, which stands out to others.
As I said, nothing overtly inappropriate has happened over the last few years, but then again, we work hybrid, so we see each other in the office only two days max.

Step back. Shut down personal chit chat.

But this is what's confusing. He never says anything overtly wrong, but the depth of the chats, the way he tells me about this life, the way we chat about life, or how we remember what I told him a year ago, it’s all a bit confusing. So it could be that he’s genuinely a nice person.

Nope hes not a nice person.

Oh. I would hope not.

Why do you say that?

He should focus on treating his wife well rather than creeping round you

Please trust your intuition, especially un the workplace. Older men are not usually friendly for no reason. The comments he is making have no place in the workplace.

The OP says he has never said anything inappropriate.

He has never spoken a bad word about his wife. He does not talk about her much, but he never says anything negative about her.

Watching junior colleagues smiling and telling them he is glad they are happy is inappropriate.

I don't think he treats his wife badly in any way.
We did have an opportunity to meet at this work event but he didn't introduce me.

How old are you op? I am assuming several years younger, not some smiley grey haired lady a few months off retirement.

I am not a junior colleague. I have been promoted to his level a year ago. But yes, I am a bit younger.

Ok fair enough. I still think his comments are weird. Bringing up stuff you said a year ago.

I am.younger than him - few years younger.
I equally look very young for my age and unfortunately due to my nice looks I had a lot of “friendly” work colleagues making a move historically so I have been guarded.

I understand. I was surprised, too.

He’s married?

I’d be extremely wary and guarded. Superficially friendly, businesslike.
Nothing more

I’m not sure. I had an older manager like this once and I’m 100% certain it was innocent. He was just interested in different types of people - from an anthropological perspective I guess?? He was married too. Yes trust your intuition but it might be innocent.