Is this all just friendly, or am I being paranoid?

[Theyu4]

I have a work colleague (London/banking) who has become very close with me over the years. I can’t work out if he’s genuinely nice to me for no reason or if there’s more to it. Perhaps my judgement is clouded by the fact that many “friendly men” in my career ended up making a move on me, etc.
He has been a lifesaver at work. We support each other; he helps me, and I help him. He’s always there for me.
But I can’t shake the feeling there’s more in it: for instance, I have another senior member of the department commenting on our close relationship, he comes to my desk a lot to chat, he calls me on the pretext of work and can easily talk for 40 mins, he compliments me on my work performance, he told me a lot of deeply personal things. But equally, we never text outside work hours, and he never said anything inappropriate. The thing is that he’s not like this with others at all at work. Lately, he’s been involving me in his projects and client meetings when that’s not essential.
The other day, he came to my desk and said, "I saw you smiling, and you looked happy, so I wanted to say I am glad you are." Maybe this could be acceptable for an extroverted individual but not for a 50-something introverted married man.

Should I lean in and let him be there for me or keep my guard up? Maybe my past experiences are clouding my judgment.

For context, we are both at the same level at work.

Ok. I see how that comes across. We work in a stressful environment with no upper management support and a lack of qualified staff in our teams. There are always a lot of deadlines, demanding individuals to deal with, and unrealistic targets to meet. You have to have a few people there to have your back, and we do that for each other.

He's not said anything inappropriate.
It stands out to others - what are others saying about it?
I am not in your workplace so I can't be sure what is going on. You are there 2 days a week from what I could ascertain. I can't really see why you are uncomfortable with someone who isn't saying anything inappropriate.
I suggest if you are going in 2 days a week, other colleagues including this person will have that similar work pattern. Maybe consider going in on different days than they do if you'd rather not engage with them

Agree. If others are beginning to comment, it’s crossed a line.

What comments would that be?

Why? It's not as if nice-looking people don't exist! In fact, there are lots of them!

I agree. If others are commenting on your closeness to this guy then jts time for a review of things.

He is either single and keen on you or coupled up and a sleazy bastard, And you know which of these is true.

I have already explained in my posts. Other colleagues have noticed too.

There's no way of knowing, really, whether he's a really nice guy who is looking out for you or whether he's interested in some sort of relationship, but there's no harm in keeping it formal and continuing to not message outside work.

I am sorry to hear about your best friend and her husband.
Yes, I found it odd that he wouldn’t introduce us. I was looking forward to meeting her, but he looked awkward about it. We were getting into the lift, and he was about to go in with her when he said, "We will wait for the next one." There was enough space. I never said anything about it.

Why? Fortunately or unfortunately, I do look nice and younger for my age. My female colleague told me yesterday that I am so tall and beautiful and asked why I am always conservatively dressed. She said that I should be wearing something a bit more fun and stop dressing like a nun.

Sorry if I have mis-understood but you said there have been no inappropriate comments from this person. What have the other colleagues noticed? Why can't you go in on your 2 days on days this person is not at workplace?

I am not the OP.

Yes.
He’s married with children, but should l ‘lean in’ 🙄
"I saw you smiling and you look happy, so l wanted to say, I am glad you are"😂
It’s just all very robotic.

Have you posted this before? I had to check the date because I'm sure I've already read this.

okay this is definitely a shit post

It's the time he didn't introduce you to his wife would be a red flag for me.....otherwise he could just be a nice man. If he was a real friend of yours he would have gone out of his way to introduce you to his wife at that event.

😅

I go in when it works, and my DH works from home. I don’t ask him when he’s in, nor would I find that appropriate.
A senior person from a completely different department commented, "I/we all know how you and he are very close and that you have influence over him." That caught me off guard, as we were hardly together, and I didn’t realise that others noticed we were close.

😂

Right. I see. "I have already explained in my posts. Other colleagues have noticed too" (your post). Forgive me for thinking you were the OP. I'm not sure what you meant by your post

I completely agree, I’m not a horror to look at either and always compliment people when they look lovely.

The language used by ‘the OP’ is so off though that I don’t trust it’s coming from a living and breathing woman.

Unfortunately, I am not making this up. This was said to me yesterday. I might mention my colleague is not Brithsh.

Well most workplaces have a rota for who is in and senior people would ensure you'd not be in at same time as someone you are not comfortable to be around. You don't have to ask the person. You engage with senior people