To wonder why dp can't get a job this way

[Lacky301]

Dp can never get a job directly with a employer his applications are always rejected or he doesn't hear back.
We are trying to avoid agencies as his last workplace had a hire and fire system dp got settled there after been there almost 2 years but company didnt have enough work so he had to finish.

How do they gain entry into the UK without qualifications? Do you not need some to get into the UK?

I'm sorry but that is a huge amount out of your pocket, I understand it is part of his culture to send money home but he may not get a job easily with no ability to write grammatically.
With the changes announced in the budget, businesses may not be recruiting. I really think he needs to face reality and you consider if your relationship is worth the sacrifices.
Are there any food production factories in your area?
They often collect workers for shifts.
That is all I can think of

You were told njmerous times before that sending 500 a month back to Pakistan was A LOT and he could and should lower it.
Same with job advice. Every threadis just repeat of the same

Somebody with no qualifications wouldn’t get a working visa in their own right, but he has come as OP’s husband. And if she is in receipt of PIP, the income threshold is waived (he will be classed as her carer).

That’s a lot OP. I have friends married to Pakistani men and the pressure of sending money home to “greedy” relatives is a source of conflict in nearly all of this marriages- and they are of Pakistani descent themselves so it’s something their parents would’ve been doing, and they still struggle.

an ultimatum is a waste of energy- your only decision is whether you want him gone. You won’t win on the money home front.

however, it does seem like if he had a job, this wouldn’t be a particular problem, so i wonder whether breaking up is even on your radar right now?

She's referring to the sorting office.

Yes i know, she explained that straight after my post.

I didn't think they were married, so how he's here is a mystery.

I don't want him gone I put alot of effort into his case to stay here

I am white British so the sending money home is something I have never known does make it difficult.

I can't understand why you're with this man. He is actively making your life worse. He may indeed be under pressure to send money to Pakistan, but you're not! I'm trying to work out the dynamic of your relationship. Will he leave if you don't facilitate him sending money home?

The dynamic is presumably that she loves him?

I care he has made me stronger tbh

He won't leave as it would be much worse in his home country and he always says he can't leave me.
I also wouldn't stop him sending money home due to people's situation back home however it needs controlling

I do try to make him aware and alert to the fact that his relatives could at times be taking the piss.

His relatives need to appreciate that whatever they do get it's more than many people in his country.

Are you aware that the average salary in Pakistan is more like £230 per month? He is minimum wage and needs to learn to pay his own bills before subsidising others to such an extent; back home he would not earn as much.

If you both have minimum wage FT jobs then you should have £4k per month; your rent is very low at £525, so even at the excessive £500 to Pakistan... where does the other £3k go to leave you struggling so much?

Right here goes I'm not full time due to health reasons I have a elderly dog and I still help my son.
If he's working we have 2500 coming in approx

In what way has he made you stronger? What is it that he has brought into this situation for you?

We don't struggle when he's working even with sending money back but obviously there are things in our own life that we need I want out of rental and car is old etc etc

You absolutely should stop him sending money home. He hasn't got any money to send.

He can only afford to send it when in work because you subsidise his living.

In the 2 years he was working he could have paid for courses and all sorts. But he didn't.

He's using you. You seem vulnerable and desperate to be honest,

Please just stop.

Google codependency and sunken costs fallacy op. That's the trap you are in.

In rural villages etc this man will be seen as having done very well for himself and the family will want to show that off. He’s probably supporting half the village 😭

I used to date a South African- different country and very different circumstances, he wasn’t poor but wasn’t rich.
his family had a housekeeper- who obv in SA in the 70/80s was basically a slave. The deal was very commonly that she lived with them and they took care of her. The housekeeper is now elderly and retired and my BF was paying £100 a month for her rent in some god awful neighbourhood and he will pay it until she dies.

It was incredibly important to him because that was the deal with black South African home workers and there is an enormous amount of trauma tied to in that arrangement.

and she was just the person who cleaned their house.

Get him to look

Ok that makes more sense. So presumably the issue is that you can't get benefits AND keep him here on that visa?

They aren't going to come and beat him up. He just has to say no not until I have a job

The elderly dog is not a reason not to work when you're desperate for cash. But he needs to stop sending whatever money YOU are earning to his family.