Boyfriend has just unveiled an awful mustache?

[Celia24]

My boyfriend has a nice short beard with I suppose a mustache included but you don't really notice it.

He asked me a while ago how I'd feel about a mustache and I said I wouldn't be crazy about it and wouldn't really find it attractive.

Well today he told me he had a surprise for me for November. He's just sent me a photo - he's shaved off his beard and fashioned this god awful mustache. I dont like it and it immediately gives me the ick.

He's clearly looking for a compliment but I bloody hate it. AIBU?

I don’t know why you are getting such a battering OP.

This is just a boyfriend, she’s not threatening to divorce anyone.

If you no longer fancy a bloke you are dating, you are entirely within your rights to end the relationship.

If I were you I would tell him his moustache is horrible and gives you the ick 🤷🏻‍♀️

Be honest

Shouldn't come as a surprise since you already told him you don't like moustaches

@K0OLA1D we will have to agree to disagree on that one 😂
#saynototaches

I don't think there is anything wrong with hating moustaches. They're put on comical villains/porn stars/70's stereotypes for a reason, they look stupid. Every time my DH tries one I laugh at him until he shaves it off and I'm certainly not shallow and only value him for his looks. I would liken it to you shaving stripes on your eyebrows or something and expecting him to take you seriously.

Yep. I can't force it.

I've told him I don't like it and I miss the beard. Don't think he'll take it well!

Shudder. I'd divorce my husband if he had a moustache, they are revolting 😂

If this was a thread about a man criticising part of a woman's appearance, such as a new hairstyle or the clothing she wore, the replied would be very very different. I can understand that you don't like moustaches - I don't like any facial hair - but it sounds so incredibly shallow to be talking about someone who you count as your boyfriend like this.

The bottom line is you don't find it attractive. If he'd had the moustache when you first met, you wouldn't have been attracted to him and wouldn't have dated him. Attraction isn't something you can conjure up at will, you can't make yourself like it. If he gives you the ick now, that could be terminal. He probably doesn't realise it's such a serious threat to your relationship.

“Well I’m not shagging Tom Selleck so I’ll give you a tenner for Movember and then December you can be back to normal, deal?”

Exactly. Would never have accepted a date if he had one.

I can't change how I feel.

I've never understood the Tom Selleck appeal personally.
Even his tache is gross.

I think those who have said "he's not unreasonable to do what he wishes with his face, you're not unreasonable to find it unattractive" are right and there's not much else to be said really.

I do have sympathy though as this is my worst nightmare. For sensory reasons (I'm autistic) I would never consider a relationship with a man who didn't fully shave once per day and so my husband doing what your partner has done would be just awful for me too.

😂 this has really tickled me! Especially with OPs description of the 'tache looking like a sad face with its downturned sides 😆

No reply hours later. He's definitely in a huff!

Inclined to agree with the posters talking about double standards.

How long have you been together?

@sweetpickle2 one year.

My reaction to it isn't conscious! I find it horrible on a visceral level.

And I stated I don't have a double standard. He already told me he didn't like a hairstyle of mine.

Say you continued to wear the hairstyle, if he told you it gave him the ick and he didn’t fancy you anymore. That he found it “horrible on a visceral level.” He’d be entitled to feel how he feels, as are you, but can you not say you’d feel quite hurt after a year together?

Real relationships are for the long haul- you may have worse than a moustache to deal with down the line.

If you don’t fancy him anymore because of it then you don’t fancy him- but to answer an earlier question, yes I do think it’s shallow.

My DH knows that I hate facial hair and that a tache or beard are an absolute no go for me. If he doesn't shave for a few days I ask him to go and do it, I can't bear even stubble, it's horrible and looks so scruffy.

YANBU OP.

@sweetpickle2 if he felt this way about my usual hairstyle, it would be hurtful and a problem, sure. But this is a new and big change for him, different to when we met.

As it happens I did feel hurt when he said he didn't like my new hairstyle before. But I knew he was entitled to his opinion. I think it would have been odd of me to double down and start wearing it all the time iyswim?

I think he's behaving like he doesn't give a shit if I fancy him or not. Because I told him I didn't like them and then he got one.

Encourage him to regrow the neat beard. Then he gets to keep the awful tash but you don't notice it ?

I don’t think you’ve mentioned how long you’ve been going out with him…or did I miss it? You must not be seeing him all that often if he’s had time to grow a full Tom Selleck!

My partner did Movember the first year we were together - been together 4 months at that point (15 years ago!).

He had to attend his grandmother's funeral the same month, and for some inexplicable reason had bought a fucking vile double-breasted suit for it. In combination with the 'tache, he looked like the worst cliche of a dodgy used car salesman...I did not keep my opinion of suit or 'tache to myself...I hate all facial hair on men.

Once November was over he never wore either ever again. Even he admitted afterwards the 'tache was fucking horrible.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4918853-to-cut-my-long-hair-short-even-tho-dh-doesnt-want-me-to?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

This shows the double standards of mumsnet