Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend has just unveiled an awful mustache?

167 replies

Celia24 · 30/10/2024 17:58

My boyfriend has a nice short beard with I suppose a mustache included but you don't really notice it.

He asked me a while ago how I'd feel about a mustache and I said I wouldn't be crazy about it and wouldn't really find it attractive.

Well today he told me he had a surprise for me for November. He's just sent me a photo - he's shaved off his beard and fashioned this god awful mustache. I dont like it and it immediately gives me the ick.

He's clearly looking for a compliment but I bloody hate it. AIBU?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 30/10/2024 18:34

React the same way you’d like him to react if you got a haircut he didn’t like.

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:34

@Catza I havent told him how to behave, I've told him how a mustache would makes me feel.

@Andoutcomethewolves has said she'd consider divorce, so I'm not alone!

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 30/10/2024 18:35

It's a weird thing isn't it. It shouldn't matter but it does. It just looks creepy.

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:35

StormingNorman · 30/10/2024 18:34

React the same way you’d like him to react if you got a haircut he didn’t like.

So when he did this to me before, he told me he preferred my usual haircut more.

I can do the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:36

WallaceinAnderland · 30/10/2024 18:35

It's a weird thing isn't it. It shouldn't matter but it does. It just looks creepy.

Yes, he looks like a serial killer from the 80s.

OP posts:
Catza · 30/10/2024 18:37

Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:34

@Catza I havent told him how to behave, I've told him how a mustache would makes me feel.

@Andoutcomethewolves has said she'd consider divorce, so I'm not alone!

I am in no doubt you are not alone with this and in no doubt that you told him. He heard you and still he has the right to do what he wants about his appearance. As I said, an option of a breakup is open to you. Are you going to take it?

StormingNorman · 30/10/2024 18:37

Are having a convo about how men should adapt their appearances for the female gaze?

Sonolanona · 30/10/2024 18:39

My DH always has a short neat beard..and a clippered head as he is fairly bald.
When I was away travelling with my daughter he got my DIL to shave his head completely and also shaved off his beard. He looked like a boiled egg and I absolutely did not find him attractive although I wasn't rude about (just asked him never to do that again!)

I know my Dh would hate it if I did something radical to my face or hair so I don't..it's ok to have preferences as long as you are polite about it!

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:40

I'm upset that he's done it shortly after I said I didn't like them.

I suppose it makes me think he doesn't care if I find him attractive or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:42

We all choose a partner based on what we find attractive. Things we like, things we don't like. That's normal.

The idea that we then have to adapt to anything regardless of what we prefer and have expressed out of love, tbh I don't agree with it. And yes if a woman was doing the same by getting say, a massive tattoo somewhere when a DP said they hated it, that would be an issue too.

(For the person that said how would you like the reverse)

OP posts:
TheCultureHusks · 30/10/2024 18:43

Oh no OP but I am crying laughing at the use of ‘unveiled’

i imagine him striding into the room with one cloaked arm held across his face and then the dramatic reveal.

‘Yes! For it is I!’

🤣🤣🤣🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸

nam3c4ang3 · 30/10/2024 18:43

Just be honest - tell him you dont find him attractive with it - and it's a dealbreaker, because it sounds like it is! Just be honest. He can decode he still wants it, and you can decide to dump him if so - youre both not wrong.

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:44

I also love his little beard!! And it's all gone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:46

Is it shallow for this to be a deal breaker?

Because I really do hate it.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 30/10/2024 18:48

Be serious with him.
"It's me or that tache. One will be gone. You choose".
If he chooses the tache then you've had a lucky escape.

Jessie1259 · 30/10/2024 18:51

Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:35

So when he did this to me before, he told me he preferred my usual haircut more.

I can do the same.

Show quote history

Perfect. Tell him you loved his beard and much preferred it to this lip rat.

namechangetheworld · 30/10/2024 18:53

Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:42

We all choose a partner based on what we find attractive. Things we like, things we don't like. That's normal.

The idea that we then have to adapt to anything regardless of what we prefer and have expressed out of love, tbh I don't agree with it. And yes if a woman was doing the same by getting say, a massive tattoo somewhere when a DP said they hated it, that would be an issue too.

(For the person that said how would you like the reverse)

A tattoo is completely different though, they're practically permanent, so not comparable.

If a Mumsnetter posted on here saying she wanted to dye her hair brunette but her husband responded that he found brunettes really unattractive, we all know exactly how people would respond. Tell him to get to fuck.

You can express dislike all you like, dump him if it affects you that much, but you can't expect him to change it for you.

Duckyfondant · 30/10/2024 18:54

It's tricky, isn't it? My long term partner currently has a straggly orange moustache that dangles over his lips. He knows I don't like it. He offers to shave it. But I would feel awful asking that of him.

I think it's one thing to make it clear how unattractive you find a certain look and quite another expressing an expectation that they change their appearance for you.

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 30/10/2024 18:54

Is it shallow for this to be a deal breaker?

I wouldn't say it it indicates that you are shallow, but it is possibly an indication that your love for him is relatively shallow. You described him as a boyfriend, so I'm guessing the relationship is not at a stage where splitting up would be a massive administrative hassle. If you honestly aren't sure you still want to be with him with a moustache, then he might not be the one for you.

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 18:58

It's more the fact I told him I hate them and used the words 'I am not attracted' and then he got one.

I find that strange.

OP posts:
Vitriolinsanity · 30/10/2024 18:59

OriginalUsername2 · 30/10/2024 18:14

He’s a Movember Dickhead.

It’s not for charity, it’s for attention.

Hmm

DS17 has not shaved all half term to get an edge on Movember at school.

He has already raised £100 (family holiday last weekend), whilst teased mercilessly by his male relatives.

He says his prostate will last the longest.

Havalona · 30/10/2024 18:59

I'll be called homophobic, I know it, but moustaches are very YMCA like to me.

BeatsAntique · 30/10/2024 18:59

I couldn’t get past my ex shaving his beard off. He looked like an entirely different person and about 12. Immediate ick.

buttonsB4 · 30/10/2024 19:00

Just say "I told you last month I find men with moustaches unattractive, so I'm the wrong person to ask if you're hoping for a compliment, I can only assume you're trying to give me the ick!"

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 19:00

@BeatsAntique yep, he looks totally different.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread