DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

[GingerBreadGinge]

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

Reminds me of Hugh Hefner. "Daddy" is fucking vile. Ask him to explain why he thinks that's okay to say to you.

I’m sorry to hear that.

i had a boyfriend when I was about 19 who used to pin me down and not let me move on the bed, and it would make me feel panicked and rageful. He always found it funny making me angry. But I absolutely hated him for it. And I didn’t quite know why.

but it was this. Power and control, under the guise of ‘jokes’.

he went in the bin.

Op. Maybe just show him this thread? He can see what a disgusting specimen we think he is. Arse wipe.

Yuk. The bloke's odd a. f.

It's definitely creepy and giving pedo vibes. Even if not said in a sexual context any man that even wants to say weird stuff like that to a woman has issues. Also extremely inappropriate for your kids to hear. The misogynistic jokes statements are not jokes and is very telling of his attitude towards women. I would be very clear about how strongly you feel about it and how weird it is. If he continues start calling him twat face or cunty chops, and if he protests tell him he's overreacting.

Awful for you. Glad you binned him. Wish I’d seen signs sooner..or recognised them for what they were. There are a lot of sick men…and women…out there. Because women can be the same and the numbers seem to be increasing

Then leave him. He doesn't care about what you want

This is how I see it too.

Bottom line is whether you are happy or not.
Takes all sorts in relationships one woman's yuck is another's yes!

You say on here you don't like it but comes across as you don't actually mind it much. Otherwise you would have put a stop to it.
.fine between the two of you, but spare your DC from hearing it.

My DH started to do this. Initially it was when he was doing something kind - "let daddy help". It didn't help that he is hugely tall and I am tiny, someone had joked that in the distance we looked like father and child - which I had thought funny ( for about 2 seconds) then this weirdness started.
I told him, he took the hump. He still does it occasionally.
We are otherwise stable and happy but it gives me the "ick" too and we are now in separate bedrooms

I think it's his attempt at Yorkshire 😂

This!

It's a bit ick, but sounds like a slip of the tongue from just saying that sort of thing when he's around your kids, more than anything. If it makes you feel weird, let him know. Maybe tease him for sounding like such a dweeb. I wouldn't read into it more than that though

He is. He takes pleasure in insulting her and then says she is too sensitive because it’s a joke. She needs to look up this trait. He is demonstrating what he thinks and feels, which is more contempt than anything else. However, it makes him feel superior so he needs her to keep taking it. Hence brushing it off as a joke so he doesn’t have to get consequences, turns it around to put her in the wrong. He will do it all the more if she says she doesn’t want to hear it. He is not going to get any better. He will find other ways to put her down. It’s too much fun not to

Yes, it’s similar to this - when he is helping or doing something kind except he adds “your” - implying that he’s my Dad! Ick! He’s also extremely tall and I’m tiny.

@GingerBreadGinge Have you tried saying, "Stop referring to yourself as my daddy because it makes me never want to have sex with you ever again"?

She hasn’t told him to stop and is not engaging with any comments asking why she hasn’t.

17 pages in and I think this a joke. Surely no sane woman would put put up with a man behaving like this. 🙄

OMG nooooo, like I can be a bit scrappy and disorganised and DH might say "You really must call and sort that tomorrow" etc etc and I'd say "alright DAD" as a joke but I can never recall a time he referred to himself as it! Yes it's weird! 😲

I'm the same, 'love' is fine, 'pet' is cute and affectionate - But baby and gorgeous always sound too contrived for me!

Don't - he might like it! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Bleurgh.

Is he trying to point out you are incompetent and he has to do stuff for you like your dad used to?

If not it would freak me out

And yet you say you're five years older than him. Just cements the weirdness for me. I absolutely would show him this thread. He needs to stop this now, just creepy AF.

And just lovely played out in front of the kids… 🤢

He does make out that I’m incompetent in arguments and will make sweeping statements such as I rely on him for everything. (I don’t) When he says that I rely on him for everything I ask him to back it up with examples but he can’t give me any. He really makes me furious when he says that.

It’s definitely not a sexual thing as people have implied 🤢

We’ve had fights in the past where he’s been patronising, I’ve asked him to not speak to me like a child and he tells me to stop acting like one then etc.