To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

I agree. Op is clearly not looking for advice.

Do you not go out much @Youthiswastedontheyoung

Why don't you ask them for an itemised breakdown of the cost of their wedding, and proof of how they are affording it. You might be more comfortable about them choosing to spend some of their money on you then!

A dress is fine, don't wear white.

@Notaurewhy I've said I'll ask my husband what he'd like me to do. If he would like me there (as his frumpy Ms!) then I'm OK to feel a bit uncomfortable for a few hours if he'd like me there.

It would have been more weird not to invite you and only invite your DH and daughter. Presumably they want him there so are inviting his family so he can attend. Fine for you not to go though, but not strange at all of them to invite you. Bit weird that you can't see that. Many people invite distant relatives and give them plus ones for them to invite anyone they wish who they might not have met. You are more than a random plus one in this situation.

@sandyhappypeople Unlikely - didn't on my own wedding (as I was 40!!!) 😄

Well, of course your husband would like you to attend his niece’s wedding with him! Unless there’s some giant drip feed coming…

@DarkBlueStocking No, he's a great guy (and won't mind if I look terrible!)

@crumblingschools At 44 and with a small child, no!

Just checking! 😜

I think your comment about feeling frumpy speaks more about why you may be reluctant to go, people get really nervous about weddings and formal occasions but the great thing about weddings is no one is focusing on you, everyone is literally looking the other way, so it's easy to blend in.

Your husband loves you, and I'm sure will be over the moon if you decide to go with him, don't let your perception of yourself stop you enjoying your life.

I'm pretty certain you not going will not save them any money...

@sandyhappypeople Totally agree. The bride will be absolutely radiant and beautifully youthful (22). She's very pretty even without a scrap of make-up ❤️

What would you like to have happened? You seem to be hooked up on the money aspect of a wedding? For your niece who've you met a few times not met the groom. You are married to their Uncle, it seems a polite invitation either graciously refuse or accept.

Given your answers my mind does wander to what if you accepted? And I have no idea on what it bothering you so?

You are going as a couple, your DH is related to her & he is your DH. You not attending with your husband is weird. Is it because you think it's going to be a 'young wedding' and not your kind of thing?

I attend weddings all the time as a plus one, as my DH grew up in a different part of the country so have many friends/extended family members whom I've never met. I attended his cousin, whom I'd never met & I probably will never see 95% of guests there again. But that's ok, I went to support my DH and his cousin.

Does your husband have children from a previous relationship/marriage?
You met him later in life does he come with history?

We had loads of people at our wedding who we didn’t know. I think that’s normal.

You'll need to check that. Many weddings are child-free.
If she's not invited, there's your out.

@ThatRareUmberJoker No; our daughter is his first and last. He's almost 50 now and was married previously. His ex-wife is a lovely lady. I have two almost adult kids.

@hellywelly3 As in neither of you knew them?

Ah. It makes sense now why there's an actual issue.
The bride and groom will be the centre of attention.
Your husband is with you, so presumably lives you frump and all, so hopefully you'll can attend with him amd not make it awkward for anyone else.

This is a very weird thread.

Unless you’re having a tiny wedding, it’s very common for there to be some guests that one half of the couple hasn’t met. At our wedding DH and I invited some family members that the other hadn’t met. For example, I met some of his cousins and aunts on the day.

It seems like you don’t really want to go and you’re using not knowing the groom as an excuse. If you don’t want to go, just own it.

If you've hardly ever met her, how do you know?

This now makes sense. You don't have to feel uncomfortable, but given you are a bit long distant from the bride and groom, you won't be in the spotlight The best thing about a wedding is all eyes are on the bride and groom. I'm guessing there are some other people at the wedding you know.

@Notaurewhy I very much hope my in-laws will both be able to be in attendance (grandparents) and my SIL, BIL and adult nephew will be there. They are all lovely people and I'm very lucky, but still of course the "outsider" due to the fact I've known them all in a relatively short time. BIL, for example, has been in the family about 30 years. He's also a decent guy.