To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

Oh mother of God..... don't try to make out like you oh such a kind person thinking of them in this way! You are insufferable!

This can't be real.

Look, you clearly don't want to go.

Stop faffing around trying to make out like their decision to invite her Uncle and Aunt together (most weddings invite family couples together) is somehow odd or wrong.

It's not. You're her aunt, you're invited with her uncle. Just say your busy and don't be rude or offensive

I'm guessing this is not a problem this bride and groom have, given they've invited you.

You are "not expecting them to pay the expense' because it really is not about you. You are the wife to their uncle (a distant relative) and they have graciously invited you to their celebrations and are willing to pay the expense. Be gracious and accept or otherwise.

To your point of inviting"strangers" to weddings, has been ever so and I hope it continues into the future as this is how we got to know each other and join into clans and communities, families. People remember being introduced to someone's brother's cousins friend who they went to school with...at these types of events.

Intros and family connections happen differently now on SM and location being spread and I accept that completely.

However it does not make any excuse for your point "don't know this person" to not attend, as a distant relative, if invited. (Unless you just don't want to then say that)

@Heidi2018 Bet you're wealthy?

Jesus you are incredibly rude

They're adults. If they wanted a wedding with fewer people they'd have it. They clearly want a family wedding and are happy to spend their money on it.

Your way is not the only way.

It probably isn't "normal" to attend the wedding of two random strangers who you have no connection with at all.

But it isn't at all unusual to attend a wedding where you know only one of the parties. Or where you know neither of them but your spouse/partner knows at least one of them.

Honestly - there is absolutely nothing unusual or abnormal about only knowing either the bride or the groom, even if you don't know them very well.

Can I ask how many weddings you've previously attended as a guest?

Honestly this is ridiculous. I asked you earlier on if you were neurodivergent OP because you remind me of my autistic son and his completely rigid views on things. I think it would be incredibly rude not to go with your husband. If you don't want to go that is your choice but at least make a decent excuse and not the utterly bizarre things you have said here. I've honestly never heard anything like it.

@ARichtGoodDram I thought you could decline an invite, however?

What does my income have to do with ANYTHING!? I'm far from wealthy, not that it's any of your business what I earn or what I spend my money on! 7 pages of a thread, not one person has agreed with you, I am not the problem here!

I think it's good that you're not going, you obviously aren't a supportive or loving family member, so you're better off keeping your negative views of them and their wedding at home.

I feel for your husband though, maybe he can take someone else as his +1 instead?

OK, so now we’ve had you not wanting to go to your DH’s niece’s wedding because

you haven’t met the groom
you haven’t known the bride from birth
the bride doesn’t ’feel like a typical niece’
they should spend the cost of inviting you on a house deposit/amazing honeymoon
it’s only a courtesy invitation
you’re only a ‘situational aunt’

Did I miss anything?

This place just gets more weird every day.

@Heidi2018 Because each wedding guest is expensive.

You can decline, but it would be downright rude to decline telling them the shit you're spouting on this thread. It's their money. It's not odd to invite an aunt.

You decline an invitation in a polite way, by having a prior engagement, in normal circles.

Ffs OP. I had a tiny wedding because (amongst other things) I was skint and couldn't afford to pay for a big wedding. But that doesn't mean I don't attend other people's big weddings or understand that people are all different and want different things.

I find your reaction unusual. I’ve been to quite a few weddings where I’ve only known half the happy couple. I’ve been pleased to be be invited, have had a lovely time being part of a celebration and have much appreciated being invited. Sad you don’t seem to feel the same joy. But hey, there are no rules so if you don’t want to go, don’t.

I'm only an "aunt" by title! I've had no involvement with the bride's life as such.

OP you sound like Eleanor Oliphant

BUT SHE'S YOUR HUSBAND'S FAMILY. How hard is that to understand?

What?

That isn't your problem and by accepting you are not expecting them to pay for a stranger. What is wrong with you?

They like and/or respect you enough (1) to accept you as part of your husband's extended family and (2) to invite you to the wedding, and you actually want to reject that gesture because they'd be incurring expense?

If you don't want to go just don't go. But at least explain to them why you don't want to go. Don't make up a ridiculous excuse about not wanting to cause them any expense!

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes.

I will ask my husband if he would like me to and take it from there. I don't have anything formal in the way of clothes for weddings (all my friends were married years ago - most now divorced!) but I'm sure a dress would be fine.