To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

Marriage is a legal contract between the 2 people involved. That marriage does not create any legal relationship with any other member of the party's respective families.

The idea of "in laws" is a social construct. It is not, unlike the actual marriage between the parties, a legal construct.

I don't understand your question, " If legality is nonsense, why marry at all?"

Marriage is a legal contract between the parties in the marriage. My comment about nonsense referred to your suggestion that in laws are part of the legality of the marriage. They aren't.

If you die intestate with none of the categories of actual relatives surviving but loads of in laws, none of those in laws will inherit.

Twaddle?

I do, and I wasn’t trying to have a go at you personally, but the whole thread had gone off in so many directions, that is all!

I wonder if the bride read this thread! 🤣

Hope they have an amazing wedding!

They’re not a stranger! They’re marrying your niece for gods sake!

@Donsyb I was referring to the trend of a +1. Which is exactly that.

I can imagine the MN thread - “ my husband has been invited to his niece’s wedding and I wasn’t invited “😂

Which is perfectly normal. Every wedding I have ever been invited to is with a plus one. And especially at a family wedding they would expect to invite the spouse of a family member.

@Donsyb As in they don't know your guest?

I bet the bride will breathe a sigh of relief when she gets this news.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung Either way is perfectly common, to invite (by name) the spouse or partner of someone you know, despite one or both of the Bride & Groom not having met said partner, or to invite single guests or guests where you're not sure if they've a partner with a +1 which means they can bring absolutely anyone they like to the wedding with them.

Seeing as we are back to square one by the sounds of it here is a wedding etiquette guide for you OP, despite nearly 40 pages of posters telling you this is a social norm hopefully this will help you finally understand .

It's best to invite both parties in a married couple, even if you're closer to one person than the other, or never met someone's spouse. Also, any couples who are engaged, live together or have been dating for over a year should get a plus-one. In this day and age, lots of couples live together before they get married or never get married at all so acknowledging their commitment is the right thing to do. While you can use your judgment with couples who've been dating long-term—say, your 16-year-old cousin and his girlfriend—you and your partner should be able to tell if it's a serious relationship. If not, err on the side of caution and give them a plus-one

I’d be booking a destination overseas wedding on a termtime weekday, at midnight by this point.

@Saschka Oh another unecessary bitchy comment. I suppose that's the risk of a predominantly female site though.

My uncle married someone when I was 29. I'd only met her once before. She was instantly my auntie afterwards and I refer to her accordingly. She was very much invited to my wedding, attended and had a great time! :)

I think you're over thinking this OP! I'm sure your niece would love to have you.

Well I wasn't invited to the weddings of either of my husband's nieces, despite all the posters on here insisting I'm their "aunt" because that's "the legality".

I barely knew them. Their father didn't like me. It never occurred to me to moan about it. They're my husband's family. He went because, awful as they are, they're still his family.

OP is your own wedding the only wedding you've ever been to? I can't understand how you're so unaware that many people do things differently to you, and indeed are happy to.

We invited all partners where a partner existed, even if we'd not meet them. Newest couple had been together about 3 or 4 months when invites went out. Single friends were invited as singles, but in the knowledge that they all already knew each other and routinely socialised together, so nobody was turning up alone and not knowing anyone.

We were GLAD to invite and pay for some guests we didn't know, because we wanted our guests to be comfortable and have a good time.

@Heresoneimadearlier Yes it's all changed these days I see.
A trend I'm pleased we didn't follow but each to his own.

Yes I have been to several weddings either as the +1 of a friend (back when we were younger and single) or the +1 of my partner. In some cases I didn’t know either bride or groom, in some cases I knew one but not the other. All were quite large weddings, some in this country , some not.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@CheeseWisely All of my friends got married in their early/mid 20s so 20+ years ago. Most are now divorced, none have remarried. One couple - very much the exception to.the rule - are still married 25 years on.
I don't recall any plus ones.
The last wedding I went to was my own.

There's nothing odd or new about +1 invitations. I've been to weddings where I was the person who knew the bride or groom and my husband didn't and vice versa and many where we both knew only the bride or groom.

Surely this is a wind up now ?

Ultimately, if you don't want to go then don't go.

It doesn't matter at this point whether you know the bride or groom or not, even if they are your close family or friends, if you don't want to go then you don't have to.