To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

A wedding is a celebration of two people who have found love. You don’t have to personally know the couple to be happy for them.
it’s not transactional or about the fact they are ‘spending’ money on you for a meal.
it’s a strange way of viewing weddings. At mine, we just told the caterer to cook for 500 (not priced per head), lots of people want to celebrate our day with us that I probably hadn’t met and tbh with a big crowd it’s actually easier in some ways to focus on just my dh and myself because I don’t have to keep trying to engage like I would have to do in a small wedding.

Sometimes when people want weddings in a certain venue there may be a minimum number of guests they have to invite in order to use that venue, so sometimes people start inviting more distant relatives to fill the space so in essence it's not wasted money on strangers because they needed the strangers to get the venue.

Hope that makes sense

Just ask them next time 👍🏻

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle I like you, have no legal connection to my husband's family either. Nor does he to mine. That includes his two stepsons. He has no legal or financial responsibility there, either.

@Namechangejustincase24 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Well, how delightful that you don’t have to come up with your well-rehearsed set of reasons they shouldn’t have invited you.

I’m desperately hoping you’re not a teacher, because you appear to have the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon.

You've been invited as the spouse of the brides uncle. That's pretty close ties to a member of the wedding party. Weird post

Has your husband met the nieces fiance? What about your DD? How do they feel about going to a "complete strangers" wedding?

@Fizbosshoes They both have, yes.

And you're not bright enough to attend a wedding without making the strangest thread I've ever read on Mumsnet.

This wedding is not All About You.

Oh please don't ask this! Next thread will be "AIBU not letting my DD go to a wedding with my DH because she doesn't know the groom and also FIL wants to offer her room and board and also the niece shouldn't be spending money on her that she could spend elsewhere?" 😓

😀

@Youthiswastedontheyoung I only met my husband’s nephews as adults. If they got married I wouldn’t dream of missing their wedding.

This, your DH will probably have a better time without you.

Amazing they sent out an invite with no date, but now all of a sudden they have announced a date and it’s a weekday term time wedding! how fortuitous they have booked the venue today of all days to time in with your thread, you couldn’t make it up! Luck be a lady and all that.

🤣🤣🤣

You keep banging on about how you want them to have someone they really want there instead of you.

They want you which is why they've invited you. You just don't want to go but won't, can't, don't want to say so.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung
In fact I would ask them what you asked us.

If they know you so well and you're really good mates, they should be able to tell you what they think.

Tell them everything you told us about the invitation from the niece of your DH, about your generous FIL, your spendthrift DH, how you would rather pay for EVERYTHING rather than receive a gift that you perceive is too expensive.......

I would love to hear their thoughts.

Genuinely @Youthiswastedontheyoung I do hope you work through this. Your various standpoints on all of the above are warped and extreme. I do hope you don't pass them on to your DC. Maybe go to therapy whilst your DH and DC are at the wedding.

I don't tend to talk nonsense, but I'm sure you're right. If legality is nonsense, why marry at all?

What?! This thread just got even weirder, if you can’t make it to the wedding anyway then why have you even bothered deliberating whether you should go to the wedding of someone you haven’t met.

@venus7 Because marriage isn't just about legality? Legally it doesn't make much difference whether my husband and I are married or not.

😆Please, make it stop!! 37 pages of tortuous tautological ( need another t word to complete it)

That's your perfect day. Can you accept that hers might be different?
You can just not go because you don't want to because you're not very sociable and that fine. No need to make out that they are being weird because rhey aren't.

@Clafoutie You do realise posting isn't compulsory?

indeed 😂