To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

But it's not the wedding of someone you have never met though, you literally just said you've net the niece, so you would be going for her, not her fiancé!

@MissScarletInTheBallroom Yes - they're genuine friends and not people who pretend to be/are in it for what they can gain. * *

So....all the (numerous) other excuses I had carefully planned are now surplus to requirements...🙄😄

Whoosh!

Don't know how they will be able to make it without you OP 🤣

Strange attitude. At my wedding we only had two witnesses but I still understand that other people (most people) like to invite friends and family. You're family. You're her aunt (she's not only your husband's niece!). I'd just go along and enjoy a free meal and a happy occasion. Better than sitting at home, surely? It's nice that they invited you. Go along, see the family and have a nice time.

@Maria1979 What was I saying about genuinely nice people? Go and make your snide comments elsewhere.

@SallyWD May I ask why you chose not to have guests? This is not a criticism at all btw, as I have been made aware most weddings are large.

Says the woman who's spent 36 pages making snide comment about her FIL's generosity and her niece's decision to have a standard wedding.

What are you really avoiding sister in law? Mother in law

I have been to the weddings of people I have never met, as I was a +1 for someone who did know them.
I don't see it as a big deal.

@DappledThings Not snide or bitchy. Totally honest. Standard doesn't mean nothing else goes and everything else is wrong.

No, you've been snide about it. Suggesting they're making a foolish choice by inviting you when they could spend their money on something else. Wondering with faux naivety about why they've invited wider family to a personal event.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung you didn't respond to my suggestion of you and DH paying for the room when you get the invitation - that would solve everything

Several reasons really. Mainly because I just hate being the centre of attention! Also, I just didn't want any fuss or expense. We didn't have thousands of pounds to spare and we were buying a house. For me, the important thing was to be married. I didn't care about the wedding day, but the marriage.
I know my views are unusual and that most people love having friends and family around them wgen they get married.

You seem to feel that accepting gifts that are generously offered undermines you in some way. On the contrary, the ability to put your own discomfort aside and gratefully accept a well-intended (by the giver, regardless of any odd interpretation you choose to put on it) gift, makes you a gracious, mature and independent person.

I would have been heartbroken if my BIL, say, had decided not to attend DD's wedding because he hardly knew her and didn't know the groom. And so would DD have been. And the world has turned, some very unexpected things have happened and BIL, DD and her DH are now quite close. Which we would not have foreseen at the wedding.

Your posts make the situation sound as if it's all about your feelings, your beliefs, your 'principles' and your comfort. But this is their wedding and it should be all about them and their family. Couldn't you just put your own ideas and requirements aside for one day to please them?

Others and myself have tried to reason with you but to no avail. You're stubborn and can't see how any other way of seeing things than your own can be accurate. It's just so sad really. There is a middle way between taking advantage of people like your DH and never accept generosity of family and friends as yourself. I love to offer and I have learnt to graciously receive; it makes life so much easier and enjoyable.

@DappledThings And that is EXACTLY my opinion. I would rather them not spend money on me to attend - each wedding guest costs - and to spend the money on themselves/inviting someone who they would really want there.

I know it happens (?often), but I still personally think it is totally nuts to go to a wedding where you have no idea who either the bride and groom are, for example!

It doesn't happen often I don't think. You just have a rather unusual idea of what constitutes knowing someone well enough for it to be perfectly normal to go to their wedding and enjoy yourself.

We're on page 35 now
Are you still saying it's odd?
Have you not got it yet? It's not odd.
And as for you would rather they spent their money elsewhere etc they are spending their money how they see fit. And that is inviting people to their wedding.
You don't want to go
Stop dressing it up

@Youthiswastedontheyoung after 36 pages of virtually everyone saying you have bizarre standpoints on:
Wedding invitations
Finances
People's generosity and gift giving

Do you have the emotional intelligence to recognise that you may need to do some work on yourself?

Otherwise you are going to live a very lonely life up there on your high horse

@DappledThings What's a +1 then? Surely if they knew who they were inviting they would address them by name?

What if they WANT to spend money on you because they want you to be there? Why can't you just accept that? Do you think you are so unworthy so that noone would like to give you something/ invite you somewhere?

I didn't say it never happens, I said not often. I've never actually known anyone be invited as a plus 1.

Your thinking is very unusual as regards who is family Don't embarrass your husband although maybe you will be a bigger embarrassment if you go!!