To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

I like this........exactly!

Who are they buying a gift for? Usually the guests buy gifts, not the couple getting married.

Loads of people have people they have never met at their wedding and loads of people attend weddings of people they have never met. If you invite a work colleague friend, chances are you don’t know their partner, but generally partners are asked aren’t they? And anyway, you do know one of the people getting married.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung Have you ever offered someone you know something ? Doesn't it give you pleasure to offer? If yes, then learn to be gracious about receiving as well. My Mil gets mad at me when I try to decline a gift (because I don't want to take advantage of her so I do get this kind of thinking). She always tells me to please don't take away her pleasure of giving...

So what if your FIL wants to pay, it’s his granddaughter’s wedding and it would probably mean a lot to him for everyone to be there and enjoy themselves.

It's not sex or giving birth; weddings are social occasions.

There’s your answer then , go.

No she isn't.

"In law" is a social construct, nothing more. It's up to the individual concerned. I don't think of any of my husband's nephews or nieces as being my relatives. My husband's brother has obnoxious political views, which his children were indoctrinated with.

That's absolutely O.K....you're not marrying him!

You sound just like my mum.

She has some bloody weird ideas too.

Oh......are you paying for it? Now it makes sense!

But you have met the niece and it's her wedding.

Personally if I was the bride and I've invited you along with your family, I'd find it strange that your hubby and daughter attended but not yourself. If you were ill or already busy on the date with something else it'd be different. However that's my opinion but we are all different so you do what is right for you.

Unless you screw your brother, all aunts are by title only; you know, not both blood relations of the niece/nephew.

And they will say to your DH where is your wife?

@Calliekins We've just discovered it may well be term-time weekday in which case I'll have to give my apologies.

Honestly OP, I think you should never go to another social event ever. You clearly don't want to, and look down on everyone, whether you've met them or not. It's fine, you don't have to go.

To be honest I am surprised you can bear to be in the same room as your husband, with your list of "why everyone else is unreasonable but I am perfect". But as you are, it's best you let the inferiors crack on with their supposed "enjoying the company of their loved ones"

@LordEmsworth See above 😀

I'm aware it's a social construct; you don't think of your husband's relations as yours, but they are. Part of the legality of marriage..you don't have to share their views.

The story has changed somewhat from the start

First it was because you didn't know the groom
....then you don't know the niece all that well
....then because it will be expensive for them (their choice)
...then because it might because weekday
....and finally because you couldn't possibly accept FIL paying for a room (even though he'll probs pay for it anyway whether you go or not)
....and now back to it might be on a week day...

....basically you don't want to go, but the list of excuses is pretty hefty

@Fizbosshoes Well it's by-the-by now if date as we expect.

Totally bazaar, how on earth do we get to meet anyone? Did you refuse to go to your in-laws house for the first time because you didn't know them. Do you actually have any friends op, how did you meet them?

‘Disaster’ averted. 🙄

@Santina I have a small circle of close friends and I wouldn't want that any other way.

I imagine that the number of people who can put up with these self righteous diatribes is indeed a very small circle.