To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

@ThatRareUmberJoker But what if his Dad offers to pay for the divorce lawyer?

@pikkumyy77 brilliant, brilliant post.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung FFS you are such hard work - genuinely, please go and get some therapy. Your responses are getting more entrenched and wrong.

Just to clarify, when someone you know offers to buy you something or invites you to a happy event that will cost them money - this is not your cue to lie on your hill to die on and screech
'I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING! I WILL PAY MY OWN WAY!'

Personally if you are that skint maybe you should start another thread about how you can increase your income

@MissScarletInTheBallroom I didn't lose my identity as an individual when I married and that has, and never will, change.
My husband is happy to accept very expensive gifts such as cars and whilst that remains his choice, mine is that I prefer to earn my own wage and save if I can in order to buy things.

I get why you’re not bothered about going, but she could have easily not invited you. You’re invited either because they want you there or they feel obliged, either ways your invite is a paid place that they’re happy to pay for so even if you don’t know anyone and if you don’t mind going to weddings, just go and have fun with your Husband.

You sound like you have a huge stick up your arse, definitely don't go, your DH will have a much better time without you.
FYI, it's perfectly normal to attend a wedding where you only know one party, and as for your Niece "in law" I'm sure she'd be thrilled to know you don't really count her as your real family.....

And what is your identity, "misery guts"?

Gosh you sound like a right bundle of fun. If I applied your rules there are so many weddings I wouldn't have attended and subsequently enjoyed. Surely you will get to know both the niece in law and her new husband over the years? I've grown close to my husband's nieces and nephews over the years. The youngest was twelve when we got together the oldest twenty two. They all have kids now and I love seeing them grow.
Don't be a misery, they care enough to have invited you, get yourself there!

@Pipsquiggle I earn enough thanks. I don't need to rely on anyone else.

@Olderbutt Thank you. I very much doubt it as they're likely moving abroad, but I'm sure we will hear how they're doing via SIL etc.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom A person in my own right.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung so money isn't the issue?

Why not pay for your DH, DC and you to attend the wedding? All problems solved!

@Pipsquiggle Husband and I can share the cost, no? That's how we pay our bills etc.

Brilliant - then go!

What's stopping you?

@Pipsquiggle He would rather not pay himself.

That's not it

@MartinCrieffsLemon That's how I see it.

@Youthiswastedontheyoung

'What a lovely invitation from your niece. Let's go to her wedding and have a great family weekend. We will have to pay for this trip ourselves, even if your dad offers, as he bought you that swanky car. He can buy us a drink at the reception if he wants to buy us something'

Or alternatively, when the invitation comes through, you just go ahead and reserve and pay for the room so your FIL can't pay for you

There fixed it for you

🤣🤣🤣

How on earth did you end up getting married? You sound like chalk and cheese.

You are so weird you are invited because your DH is an uncle and it would be rude not to invite you. Whether you had a small wedding or not is of no consequence.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom We do see money differently but I think that's mainly down to the way we were raised. I was taught to rely on myself from the age of 18, to go to uni and get a profession (which I did), to work hard and pay my own bills.
Hubby is very intelligent but flunked uni; I feel in the knowledge he will always be "bailed out" and financially supported as necessary.

Your problem is with your dh, it seems. You see him as infantilized and owned by his family. Their generosity, which he accepts as his due or in order to stay close to them you see as golden handcuffs.

That is fine as far as it goes but I don’t think the contempt you have for your dh is a good sign in a marriage. And all the weird excuses you came up with first are just absurd ways of refusing to go to the wedding as though your sturdy refusal to take money counteracts your dh’s happy entitlement.

Plus ones at wedding used to be common but are less so now, probably due to cost. So people took dates etc to weddings. I certainly have been to weddings of people on my husband's side where I don't know either or one of the couple.

Clearly doesn’t want to go in the first place and trumping up some shit excuse not to go