To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

Your aunt is your mum or dad’s sister or the wife of your mum or dad’s brother. You seem to be deliberately minimising and trivialising the relationship and I’m not sure why. What do you get out of doing that?

I think you’re being an idiot, and you know you are.

I do kind of see your point OP. I'm someone who thinks large weddings where you invite extended family that you never see a quite pointless.

It’s not all that extended; it’s not like a second cousin twice removed! Presumably, OP’s husband is the brother of the bride’s mother or father. Who may well have contributed considerably to the cost of the wedding!

Have you never come across the phrase ‘plus one’ when it comes to invitations (including wedding ones).

Me too, I went as a guys plus one - we were in a kind of a situationship - and I neither knew beforehand nor could tell you now the bride and grooms names even. They could pass me on the street and I wouldn't know them. I am generally a pretty conscientious person and it didn't occur to me to feel bad about eating the meal they paid for. I know my date would have given a big fat gift which probably covered both of our costs as it were but that was between him and them. Your attitude is truly strange OP.

But you've met the niece? 😳

Weird not to go.

@Startinganew32 I don't have a relationship with her so only an aunt by title/through marriage. That's actually the opposite of trivialising an aunt-niece relationship. We don't have one.

This thread is a MN oddity

A poster asking why they HAVE been invited to a wedding and a poster who has made about 100 replies themselves....

Unsure where you are coming at this from, but I have been to the weddings, parties, christenings, etc…. of all my OH’s nieces. They are very much my family, and I am very much their’s. I am considered an “Aunt” by them all, just like my OH is their Uncle, although we don’t use A&U, just first names. I am presuming you have been included in the invite along with your OH, so find it very strange you are resistant to attending for some reason. I don’t think the fact that you chose to have a small wedding is relevant to be honest. Why erect strange barriers where there don’t need to be any is my first though? Just go and enjoy the day.👍

@Getitwright I see an aunt as someone who has been involved in the life of a niece/nephew.

Great response 😂!

Sigh. OP, you’re invited as the +1 of your husband, her uncle. Does that help? You don’t need to have known her since birth, or to have some kind of deep bond.

Depends on families, all of them are different. I haven't had any contact with any of my cousins or aunt/uncles since I was a child. So yeah in my opinion I find it odd when I was invited to their wedding. But I have a different opinion of weddings, find large ones unnecessary etc. everyone is different! I'll attend if I'm invited as it's etiquette/polite but they're not something I would ever do personally.

But surely now you can become a REAL aunt by building a relationship with her. You can attend her wedding for starters. Unless you don’t want a relationship with her?

I just think this is very strange, I get you don’t know her well, and that you’ve never met him, but she obviously wants her uncle there, and that would include inviting you.

look at it a different way, if she had invited your husband and child and not you, how would you feel - insulted? Left out ?

I would go, you will be seeing his family over the years and this would be an ideal opportunity to socialise with them

If they invited your husband at not you there would have been a thread about the in-laws leaving to out🙄

@LoveWine123 She lives 4 hours away and then will be moving abroad so that won't be possible.

What a ridiculous thread! When we got married, even though it was a really small wedding, there were a couple of people there who I had never met, and who were the partners of my husband's friends. One of my close friends came with her new boyfriend, who neither of us had met before. They were all made welcome. It's expected that if you're invited to a wedding you will bring a partner with you, whether or not they are known to both the bride and groom.

It’s only impossible if you want it to be impossible.

It seems a bit miserable to me to limit it to people who have had a big part in someone's life and has been met x times....

We had a few complete randoms at our wedding, plus one's we'd never met, a friends friend as she'd just got divorced and didn't want to bring her ex husband. They were a complete laugh and took over the dance floor.

It’s so SO helpful when people become psychologically qualified for diagnosis after watching a couple of YouTube videos.
bravo! You are adding real depth to the discussion. 😂

OP is probably hoping for a bit of attention - that this gets picked up by the red tops 🙄
OP: you sound like an absolute PITA, just don’t bloody go FFS.

I've only met her a few times so she's just a young woman I only know to say hi to really. We don't have any friendship or anything.
You don't have any relationship? - colour me surprised!

She's putting out the hand of friendship and you are inventing every excuse in the book to brush her off.

I'm not a miserable person for not wanting to spend £££ on a large wedding to pay for lots of random people 😂
I get very small weddings you'll still have random people - but not everyone likes large weddings like many on this thread do, everyone is different.

So very, very strange. The OP's attitude and her 100 posts, not the invite.