To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

I missed this message earlier. Is this about you feeling frumpy and don't feel confident meeting new people?

She has invited you as she has met you and are part of her family. It’s her wedding. This is your opportunity to meet her dp. You spoke about your wedding. She doesn’t have to do the same as you. I think it’s about her not you and I presume your husband would like you to attend.

You’re overthinking this! You’d be going as your DH’s plus one! DS got married recently; invited a few work colleagues that he’d been friends with; their wives hadn’t even met him, let alone his now DW.

What you are describing is perfectly normal; most invitees will only know one or other of the couple!

Good god. Don't go if you don't fancy it, but own up that you just don't want to - the excuse that you've not met one half of the couple is extremely thin.

Your NEICE has invited you. SHE would like you there. That is the point.

When you got married it was your day, and your way of doing things. This is your niece’s day. It’s totally irrelevant that you ‘don’t see the point’. She does, and it’s her opinion that matters.

My bridesmaids hadn’t met my fiance until my wedding day! We got engaged and married within a year and logistics meant not only my bridesmaids but a number of friends and family had never met him. 15 years later they are all the best of friends! They came to the wedding for me.

OP, whether you like it or feel it or not, you are the bride’s aunty… that makes you significant at the wedding.
You've mentioned that your own wedding was different to this as it was smaller and more personal - and that’s fine. Your niece and her partner are doing it their way ie bigger and with all extended family, and that’s also fine and pretty normal.

And this is an opportunity to get to know the family better. Christenings, Weddings, Funerals. These are the occasions that bring families and extended families together, in a world where we are increasingly insular and dispersed.

They've shown you consideration and respect by inviting you. Show some in return.

I find this crazy.

We didn't have people at our wedding that we didn't know for example plus ones were not given if a couple were in a long term relationship they were both invited

So some of my friends & their partners that my husband hadn't met and the same with his friends and partners that I'd never met

Some family we'd never met

But he knew all of his chosen guests and I knew all of mine there was no 'strangers" to either of us there and it was lovely to meet all these people finally and from there we began more solid relationships seeing our friends more not his or mine and mixing the friendship groups it was lovely.

I think it's all down to you and low self esteem and not actually wanting to go to the wedding but you'd be better just saying that really.

Very black and white thinking here OP, are you generally like that in life? Do you pick up on social cues?

Yes i think this is it, the op feels frumpy, maybe has social anxiety and is trying to find valid reasons not to go.

Op, you have been invited as you are her uncle's dw. That is perfectly normal and would be weird if you declined tbh.

You aren't going to develop a bond if you don't go to her wedding.
You are creating a vicious cycle where there will be other family members you don't know well because you are passing up the opportunity to spend time with them at a family event, niece's wedding. These people are important to your husband and child so given that you don't dislike them, go and get dressed up, have a meal and a dance. Use your child as a reason to leave early if you don't have fun.

My daughter is getting married soon . There will be a few relations there who haven't met her finance yet. Equally she will be meeting 2 of his for the first time. That's normal surely? The only weddings that are the exception to that are tiny ones like you had with just a handful of guests.

Obviously you don't have to go to the wedding of you don't want to but be aware that for most people your reason/excuse will seem illogical. And it's quite likely to hurt your niece's feelings.

Due you intend to meet him after they are married? Or will you use the argument why should,I meet up with a man I've never met before?

Blimey, it's called being part of a family.

Curiouser and curiouser, you received an invitation to a stranger's wedding without a date on it.

Interested to know a few things though. The niece that this stranger is marrying: If you don't know them very well how do you know:

• how good she looks even without make up?
• her financial situation so well you know she and the stranger are financing the wedding? Maybe it's like your first wedding and someone else is paying no expense spared?

Also, rude but really need to ask, did you grow up in a cult?

But it's not your wedding. It's hers and she has invited you. You are making this whole thing about yourself!

And your attitude is a fantastic way to ensure that will continue unchanged.

Your attitude is bewildering.
I can't decide if you are being deliberately goady or can't understand the basic social convention of wedding invitations.

You are invited. She obviously wants you to be included.
Stop overthinking and over analysing.
Go/don't go.
But be gracious...

What’s the point in marrying when you don’t class their family as your family?

How long have you been married ? How
long have you been together ?

You have made up that rule OP.

You've been invited because the couple would like you to attend and there is nothing wrong in that.

You are free to decline the invitation as it sounds like you don't want to go. Presumably your DC and DH would like you to go with them though? I often go to social stuff that my DH would like me to go to with him and vice versa.

Not going might make it awkward for your DH;

’Why couldn’t Youth come?’
‘She didn’t want to because the bridegroom is a stranger!’
’Ywhat’

It seems to me as if you don't like your husband's family very much. Which is exactly how it is going to seem to them too.

I take it you don’t like weddings. I’m the opposite, any excuse to go to a wedding!

Why do you keep calling yourselves strangers? You haven't met the groom yet, but you are your niece's auntie and she no doubt wants to introduce her new husband to her whole family. He will continue to be a stranger if you keep avoiding them. Family is clearly important to her. You might not be a fan of weddings in general, but where family is concerned I really think you should make an effort.

If I were your niece I would find the way you're talking very hurtful.

Op doesn’t want to go simple .

Op thinks her way is the right way and these people whom she doesn’t care for, aren’t doing this the right way and she just doesn’t understand it .
OP’s way is the right way !

Weird. I’ve been to probably a hundred weddings having not met half of the couple - you go if it’s family (and it’s manageable).