To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

What about the bride? You're a member of her family through your husband, her uncle, for heaven's sake? What a weird take on things.

It’s quite normal to go to the wedding of someone where you only know one half of the couple. I’d never met my sil’s husband when I attended their wedding, it didn’t occur to me that it was ‘odd’.

Won’t there be other people at the wedding you do know, members of your dh’s family?

The first thing that's weird is thinking of this as being the groom's wedding day and focusing on how unacquainted you are with the groom when you are acquainted with and related-by-marriage to the bride and it's her wedding day too. The whole point of marriage is to link people together so that the new spouse is a member of the family as much as if by blood and a lot of people would consider it a slap in the face to only invite one half of a spouse pair on a day that's supposed to be celebrating this concept. If marriage is meaningful and worth celebrating then you are part of the bride's family.

The second thing that's weird is that you are fussing about this so much when they haven't set a date yet and haven't actually issued invitations yet. The wedding could be 18 months away! Have you already decided not to attend any events at which there might be a danger of meeting him between now and the big day?

...and everyone would think you were very odd.

It's one extreme to the other these days on here

OP, do you never open your front door either?

You are being incredibly difficult and deliberately obtuse OP. 🤦‍♀️

Do you struggle like this in other areas of your life?

It's ABSOLUTELY NORMAL AND PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE to be invited to a wedding where you only know one side of the couple! (caps to emphasise, as you seem unable to comprehend just how normal this is!!)

However...in this instance, definitely decline, as you will utterly spoil their day with your miserable face!

It's always ok to say no.

If you don't go, they will just invite someone else, so they won't save a penny. The chances are that person won't know both of them, either.

It will probably blow your mind that most of the people I had at my wedding I had only met once or twice, five I'd never met. Two others my husband had never met and one only once. These people were my new husband's family or his friends and the others on my side. I only had one relative there as I only had two at the time. Sadly both are now dead.

Regardless of how your wedding was, this is their wedding and they've invited you so clearly want you to go. It's quite common to have only met one half of the couple too, so it sounds like you just don't want to go for some reason. Its fine if that's the case, but just be honest rather than give a nonsensical reason

When we married we literally just had immediate family and very close friends

So no partners at all?

It’s considered impolite not to invite the husband or wife if close family. She’s being polite and I think you need to make the effort for your husband and child’s sake.

Are you normally socially awkward?

You go to support your husband. It would be rude if they attend without you.

Weddings can be (I would think usually are) big family parties. You are now part of your husbands family so of course you are invited. It is an opportunity for the family to get together and to meet the groom’s family. The bride and groom will be really busy so you can’t say you will get to know them on the day but you might get to know your husband’s wider family better. Then you might have met the next bride and groom at the next wedding in the family.

I've been to weddings where I've never met the bride OR groom before. They have been friends or family of DH.

Don't go if you don't want to, OP. Don't make it about this this issue though, cause you'll seem really weird.

Hilarious.
OP, we been to weddings with 400, 600, 1000 guests. Our own wedding had over 300 guests.

I’ve always been to plenty of ‘english’ weddings where new partners if friends have been invited, work colleagues and their partners - in short, plenty of people on the guestlist who didn’t know both of the married couple well, or at all.

You don’t have to go of course. but your reasons for not going are an odd and very uptight way to think since you’ve literally been invited and your husband is her uncle. It’s not up to you to tell them how to spend their money.

This is what I was thinking. Has OP been to other weddings? She keeps quoting her own. Very strange

My uncles and their wives didn't meet my dh until the day of our wedding. I'd have been very pissed off if they didn't attend because they didn't know dh 🤣🤣 I'd have thought they'd lost their minds. Instead they came and had a lovely day.

This is a really really wierd attitude. Weddings are about family gathering to support - you’re not just going for your niece - but her parents and grand parents and wider family (who you presumably do know)

you’re going with your husband as a unit together

if you don’t want to go becuase you don’t like parties or big social events - don’t go. But you’re a grown up. own that. You don’t need to invent a million odd reasons why you shouldn’t.

There is absolutely no reason to believe you'll feel uncomfortable. You'll be in your husband's company, you'll know at least some of the people there, and weddings are generally lovely occasions when everyone's in a good mood and friendly to each other.

You sound a bit cold and callous to be honest, like you’ve got absolutely no interest in your DHs wider family

This is fine, for you, but it’s not your weddimg
also 1.) you are technically her aunt through marriage 2.) not everyone thinks of weddings as highly personal in the same way - a lot of people see it as a big family celebration.

Never been to an indian wedding then 🤣

You are making excuses to not attend something you haven’t even been invited to yet.

just admit that you don’t want to go. All of your current excuses are none of your concern. They can decide what kind of wedding they can afford. It’s nothing to do with you.

You don’t have to go, but be prepared to be thought of as awkward by your husband’s family if you always refuse invitations because you don’t know everyone there you’ll never get to know the family.

The thing is this isnt you being invited to the wedding of soneone you don't know well, it is your DH being invited to his familys wedding and you going with him as his wife.
It would have been pretty weird for her to invite her uncle without inviting his wife. Plus ones are common at most weddings, inviting both halves of a married couple I think is pretty much mandatory. Isn't going as a couple to this kind of thing part of being married? Wouldn't you be hurt if you were going to an extended family members wedding and he refused to come because he didn't know them?
If you don't want to go and he is genuinely fine with going alone then I guess it's OK, but I think you need a far better excuse than 'don't know the groom'. If you want to feel part of and be included in your dhs wider family then by being the only one not at a wedding when all the rest of his family are there with spouses in tow you will be making yourself stand out hugely as weird and antisocial if you have no other reason than 'didn't want to'.
And I say this as a socially anxious introvert who has never been to a wedding and lived in fear of siblings getting married and being morally obliged to show up and smile (thankfully for me they got married during covid so no one there. Yay 🤣)