To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

I’ve got quite a few ‘uncles’ that are not that sociable and don’t attend family meals etc but they always go to the family weddings, it would be rude not to.

So everyone’s wedding must be along the lines of yours, right?

Nothing like welcoming a newcomer into your extended family and joining in a happy occasion that someone (a family member) has kindly invited you to….

the concept of plus ones is going to blow your mind… you don’t even know the name of the person you’re inviting to your wedding!

I've attended perfect strangers' wedding before as partner of of friend of theirs. Still lovely to go along and was made to feel very welcome. Ditto I invited partners of my friends, who I had not yet met as we lived far apart, to my wedding - it was a great chance to meet them and see my friends have fun. Your attitude is very odd and frankly insulting to the bride and groom. They get to choose the guest list and don't need you telling them who they should and shouldn't invite based on your own "perfect" wedding. Stop being rude and support your family (including the extended on laws).

Exactly. I wouldn't necessarily expect to know both parties.

Bizarre attitude. Weddings are all about both sides of the family getting to know each other, and welcoming the new bride / groom to the family.

He not marrying himself im guessing you know the niece if u never met either then def don't go your being zsked zs z guest not zs the bride

What a strange way to view it since you know your niece. A couple is two people.

Why don’t you want to go to what is in effect a party and have a good time? Why are you making this all about you?

You are not "expecting" them to pay for a stranger! They have invited you as the wife of the bride's uncle, they chose to invite you. How on earth have you got to your age without understanding the social norms of weddings? I've understood this my whole life.

Surely one of your adult children could look after their sibling so you can go?

I’ve been to several weddings where I only knew one person and a couple I didn’t know either because. I love a wedding though!

Also met people at my own wedding I’d never met before. Weddings can be an excuse for people to get together who may not otherwise and this is a good thing if you’re a sociable person. If you’re not, don’t go and be miserable.

It would be very normal to attend. You will always be a stranger if you don't go to these things and use them to get to know your extended family. I think there is more going on here and it's all in your head/own thoughts. You're making yourself a stranger.

I've been to multiple weddings where I only knew one party. It's one of the ways of maintaining bonds of family and friendship.

Sorry, what!? Are you talking about me? Im neither the OP or a lesbian or a man??!

OP : is it strange to go to a wedding if I don't know the groom?
Everyone : no
OP : but I've only known the bride 4 years
Everyone : so?
OP : but the groom won't know me
Everyone : so? Youll be introduced at the wedding
OP: they're inviting me out of politeness
Everyone : theyre inviting you because youre family, its quite normal.
OP: but it will be expensive for them
Everyone : not your problem
OP: I only had 17 people at my wedding
Everyone : that's irrelevant
OP : I might have to wear a dress
Everyone : yes, and?
OP : I might be working
Everyone : so wait until you know the date...

This is like pulling teeth!!
Inviting extended family to a wedding is fairly normal in most traditions. If you are working, or don't want to go, you can decline the invite, but going to a family wedding isn't a strange thing to do, no matter how many excuses you make!
I've been to Indian weddings with 1000 people at them, I'd be amazed if the bride and groom knew everyone well...

If they haven't set the date yet, maybe there's a possibility of meeting before the wedding?

I assuming you've met the niece? Why wouldn't you want to go for her and you could meet her husband there too?

I've attended weddings where I only know one of the party. The one that's invited us and that's who we go for.

You have have a strange way of looking at it.

I'm guessing you're looking for a way not to go.

You don't have to attend. However, being invited is not weird at all. She invited her uncle and his wife. Which is the social convention and I'd even say close family relation. Not inviting you would have been rude and not socially acceptable. If you don't want to go, don't go. But your reasoning is quite odd. And the invited haven't arrived yet.

You're not attending a stranger's big day. You're attending your niece's big day.

Do you make everything about you? How exhausting.

Sounds like you are so overthinking this and making a fuss about something so normal. If you don't want to go then don't go. Awful lots of drama for nothing.

Just as well you’re not Greek. Parents have a wad of invitations that they hand out to business associates and other randoms who the bride and groom will never have met.

You really sound up yourself OP, you’ve been invited, you don’t want to go. Tell them the reason and watch your relationship with husband’s family disintegrate.

I wouldn't bother and tbh, given you've only met her a handful of times and never met him, she probably only invited you to be polite so the sooner you say no, the sooner she can give your place to someone else.

They won't save any money. They will have budgeted for a certain number of guests.

Right, I think I may have worked out what the REAL issue here is. The money aspect and not knowing the groom are red herrings.

You referred to yourself as a 'frump'. Have you put on weight since the family last saw you and you're embarrassed to see them again?

Have I solved it? Put me out my misery please.