To not go to a wedding of a man I've never met?

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

Adult niece (in-law). Never met fiance.
I'm more than happy for my husband and daughter to attend (and quite rightly so), but personally feel one shouldn't attend a wedding/invite someone to a wedding of someone whom they have never met.
AIBU?

You're being invited as your husband's partner, not because the couple know you well. It's a fairly common concept at social events, not just weddings - invitees often get to bring along a plus one to keep them company and, for married couples, you sort of assume that they'll bring their OH, which is why you're named on the invite.

It's an invitation not an imposition. Accept or decline as you please.

It would be a good idea to stop focusing on the costs, they've asked you to save the date. It's very weird that you think you need to have met the groom, you don't.

My nephew and his partner got married in America, they had a wedding reception a month later. I hate parties but as both my parents were ill and I'm the only other member of the family I went. On leaving I asked my nephew to introduce me to his wife because otherwise it would have been incredibly weird. Nothing new in my family though.

You may not have met the groom (yet) but it would be rude to decline (without a good reason such as illness) and will definitely make family feel like you are not making a effort/considering yourself part of the family.

If you disliked your niece or there had been a fall out then fair enough but if get onwell with them you should make the effort.

God almighty. You surely must have the imagination to understand that a lot of people have weddings bigger than yours. The invites will often be for someone they know "and guest".

Of course they won't know everyone who's coming.

I don't personally like big weddings either but for fuck sake ... 🙄

It's not a stranger's wedding. It's your niece. Go or don't go. Whatever.

Yes you can decline if you want. But have you even considered that your husband might want you to accompany him as his wife and try to socialise with his family. The family you joined when you married him - like a normal person would.

OP did you have a name change fail to Heidi something on page 10?
And now you are a lesbian? Or are you a man. I honestly have no idea but enjoy the wedding!
Edit for shameful spelling.

Tell her you don't want to go. You sound like a misery.

You'll never get to know your DH's family of you skip out on every invitation OP. You've been together for 6 years and have a child, that isn't a small amount of time. I'm surprised your DH didn't invite her to your wedding though, could you ask him why that was?

I went to one of DH's family's weddings when I hadn't met either of them. They had heard of me and I had heard of them, and DH was very close to the groom, so they invited me when we weren't even engaged yet. I'd count the bride amongst my closest friends now, we've built our families alongside each other. Relationships are made by showing up for each other, I think it's worth going if you can as you may strengthen bonds with his wider family.

Loads of people go to weddings of people we’ve not met before, as we know one half of the couple.

you are being very unreasonable.

Sorry heidi I misread, The whole thread is bonkers so please forgive me.

If you work term time I am assuming you are a teacher or in education? I can't believe a 40 year old woman is being so obtuse around the etiquette of wedding invitations

I personally had a much smaller wedding than you and agree (privately) that most weddings seem to be ridiculously extravagant and not to my taste. However if invited to a family member's wedding I graciously accept unless I have a genuine reason not to be there. Friends and acquaintances weddings I would send a polite 'regret' ... as I did this year to the third wedding of a friend of my husband's, I had no wish to attend & he went alone (if he really wanted me to accompany him I would have but he was happy to go on his own).

It’s invitation, not a summons. If you don’t want to go, don’t go but being angry at being invited. It sounds like that you don’t want to go and resent having to articulate it.

You are in the wrong here. Your opinion is very poor and non-standard.

This is so weird!

So because you had a small event, you continue to post faux confusion as to why not everyone does what you did because it makes so much more sense/ is better......it really isn't, it's what people want. You are family and have been invited. I'm not sure why that's so hard for you to understand. This is his siblings child. When you came into the relationship, doesn't matter, you are her Aunt t by marriage and have been invited as part of the wedding. It's really not as hard or confusing as you're trying to make it, and clearly you just don't want to go. So be honest and say that

If you go to the wedding you won’t be a stranger anymore.

At our wedding we had 17 guests. Perfect. Don't want people rocking up I have no clue who they are!!!

Again, you will have a clue who they are once you have met them.

I love threads where the OP seems to be from another planet

This is such a bizarre reaction to a wedding invitation. Have you been to many weddings except your own? Are you worried you are going to be on the periphery and not one of the central guests? Don’t go if you don’t want to of course but if the reason for declining the invite is that you don’t know the groom then you’re going to come across as very rude and strange, so maybe think of some other excuse.

What a very very odd and rude attitude you have. 🤔

I've attended plenty of wedding where I've not known one or even both of the couple. Sometimes it has led to a new friendship.

OP you are batshit and honestly coming across quite rude.

What's the point in attending a stranger's big day? Hmmm. 🤔

Could it be the fact it's also your Niece's big day?

It’s not really about you- I very much doubt that they’re waiting with bated breath to see whether you grace them with your presence. They just understand that standard wedding etiquette includes inviting the spouse of the relative you wish to invite. Part of the point of weddings is for family members to meet the new family.

You don’t have to go, but it’d be nice for your husband and daughter to have you there as part of their family .

You’re making quite heavy weather of this .

You clearly don’t want to go, but it’s perfectly normal to invite the wife of your uncle to your wedding. The bride and groom have invited you, and it’s their choice if they invite someone who hasn’t met the groom. Given you’re considered family by marriage it’s not crazy to invite you. If you don’t want to go, that’s a different matter, say yes or no rather than pretending you’re declining to save them the cost of your invite.

What a weird thread, go or don't go that's for discussion between your husband and you. You've asked if you are being unreasonable, most are saying you are abs yet yoy have batted back responses continuing to disagree with other views.

You mention repeatedly cost - why not your concern. You describe your wedding of 17 as perfect which is fine and your view but you seem to have no awareness that the majority of people have weddings inviting 100 plus. Have you never been to a large wedding.

Speak to your husband, they've very obviously invited you to include you in the wedding and be polite as the wife of their relative. It's not a personal invite to a stranger! Jeez

Willing to bet OP would have taken massive offence if only her husband had been invited, based on "the groom has never met her, and therefore doesn't want her at the wedding". Your reasons for not wanting to attend are floppy and half arsed. Just admit you can't be arsed to go and don't care for that side of the family that much.