If you are mid to late 50’s

154 replies

Checkoutthatsky · 27/10/2024 17:47

Or know people who are,

What is your/their life like?

Dh and I had dd at 40 (not the plan, years of infertility)
Just thinking about what life will be like when we have more freedom, when we’re 56/58 and dd will be much more independent

OP posts:

Arraminta · 29/10/2024 16:38

And, during the holidays she has myriad choices between being home alone or trailing after us, obviously. She might visit friends. She will definitely have her own holidays booked. She might stay with DD1. She might fly out and join us. She might stay home and enjoy the peace. Who knows?

Gogogo12345 · 29/10/2024 16:49

Savingthehedgehogs · 29/10/2024 15:04

I would think judging by my own experience, assuming you aren’t being a sarcastic twit, that it will be once all have established networks and support systems in university towns or have significant support in an emergencies- someone that can drive to them if they are injured or seriously ill etc. So usually year 2/3 but even then I would want to see dc for reading weeks and holidays, so I am not entirely sure whether extensive overseas travel works hence my question!

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Ok Well I'm not totally sure what reading weeks are but you could arrange to be at home for a pre arranged time to see the DC surely.

What happens if they want to do different stuff in their holidays though? Will you also expect them to spend them with you as you may have shelves your own plans to see it's all a matter of compromise

I suppose easier with DS as his dad could see to him in an emergency if I wasn't in the country and he also has 2 much older sisters

emjam67 · 29/10/2024 19:07

I have a 17 year old son and I was nearly 40 when I had him and DP was 38. Didn't meet DP until I was 31 and we went out a lot and travelled for 18 months before this, so I don't feel that I have missed out. I think I was a better mum being older. Yes it is hard when they are young but I remember trying to get DS to do his GCSE revision! DS is mildly autistic but luckily I was a SAHM ( DP has his own business in which I do the administrative side) so I could see to his every need. We only went out occasionally with GP baby sitting and went on family holidays together. As he went to secondary school he started to take the bus which meant I could get a part time job - this is where I am "me" and not "mum". My son is now in his second year of his apprenticeship but doesn't go out a lot. We live rurally and due to his autism doesn't have close friends to go out with. He is learning to drive and I'm sure that this will change then. We do go out occasionally but we usually bring him along with us - it doesn't seem fair that we should go out for a curry and leave him at home alone!

NeedToChangeName · 29/10/2024 19:13

5128gap · 27/10/2024 18:28

The best its ever been. My children are gown up but still close by, and we are excellent friends. We go out together and on holiday, to gigs, on city breaks and have great fun. I have DGC that I see every day so still get the joy of younger DC without the hard graft.
My job has got better paid and easier (paid now for responsibility not activity!) and my experience and knowledge means I'm treated with great respect, which is lovely and flattering.
I'm lucky with my health, though I put some work in and live a squeaky clean life to keep it that way.
I have fabulous friends of all ages who I've known from 50 years to 6 months and everything in between and I have loads of time to enjoy their company. None of them care about the silly preoccupations of competition and drama that spoils friendships in younger years. We just live our lives and have fun.
I go where i want when i want, work rest or play as the fancy takes me, and all the time treated as this wise person worthy of respect (which makes me laugh a bit) but still young enough to be 'relevant'. There really are no downsides at the moment, and as long as my health holds the future looks pretty bright too.

Sounds fantastic

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