To wish we hadn’t bought this house

[wishihadntgottgishouse]

I’ve had this thought for a long time now. 2.5 years ago we bought a detached property in a new build area. Tbh we were desperately looking for a home and at that time a house would come on and be sold within days. It was so hard finding a home. I really never liked it but as DH kept pointing out it’s his money and I don’t contribute (I’m a stay at home mum but have gone to work part time when kids in school recently).

the thing is the elderly neighbour next to us keeps telling me we got scammed as he’s got the exact same house (new builds all the same) and he paid considerably less than us. He bought his 6 months before us. He keeps telling us other neighbours who bought a better home paid less than us. So we’re the second family to live here and we paid £190k more than the first family who bought it 4 years ago before us. I don’t know how to get over this. I feel really embarrassed when neighbour brings it up. My husband has let the house get ruined as the paintwork had chipped of and shower leaking has caused marks in hallway ceiling. I’m embarrassed of having anyone come in. Everytime I try to speak to him he tells me to use my own money to fix the problems. I’ve only just gone to work and I don’t earn much.

In the OP it says yes, they have kids.

You have bought the house so wishing that you didn't is a waste of energy.

Start completely ignoring your neighbour.

I agree that you should get a job to help you get out of this situation.

You're thinking house price rises are the problem when it's your Husband that is the problem.

Well you paid what you thought it was worth. You had been looking at other things and felt it was a fair price at the time, what other people paid now or in the past is irrelevant.
And what’s with the moaning that your husband “let the house get ruined”? It’s not only his fault that paint chips or leaks happen and nor is it only his responsibility to fix it.

1. Tell your neighbour the house is your home so the value is irrelevant.

1. Your husband is a prick. How on earth have you managed 12 years with him? And why do people have children with someone so controlling??

What a shit situation
Firstly you're husband is a dick. It should always be 2 yes's or it's a no with any big purchases like buying a house, you both have to love it as you are living in it day in day out. 'It's my money' 🙄 that would induce so much rage in me and I would be running!
Secondly you're neighbour is also a dick for keep bringing this up, what good does it do?

Sorry OP but I would be leaving.

My new build house has increased in value approx 80k since we bought 7 years ago. Over this length of time you would expect the price to go up

4 years ago houses were selling very rapidly , the prices in some areas more or less doubled over night , don’t be disappointed with what you paid , it was what you needed to pay at that moment to secure a place to live , what your neighbour or anyone else paid 6 months prior has nothing to do with it , house moving and prices were very different during lockdown than any other time so not comparable

your neighbour has found your weak spot and is an unpleasant person to niggle away and make you feel wretched and hard done by , either ignore him or change the subject to a positive upbeat one every single time , tell him you are not interested in his house price gossip

your house is a family house , it doesn’t belong to just your husband it belongs to the married couple and that is you and your husband , if you were to file for Divorce he would find this out

save what you can and find a good solicitor

Sorry but why does your husband think you 'didn't contribute'??? How does he think he was able to go out and work/earn in order to buy this house?? He may have put the money in but you've put in all your time and work making it a home.
If you love this prince among men enough to stay, ignore your neighbour - every single house I've bought has been more expensive than it was when the previous owners bought it. That's how it works.

Why don’t you tell your neighbour to fuck off? How often do you talk to him about this? It sounds constant, you need to shut it down.

Do you actually not like the house, or is it just his negativity bringing you down?

I guess you probably sold a house at the peek of house prices too? house prices rise and fall. We wouldn’t get our money back if we sold our house right now (bought 2 1/2 years ago) but we’re not selling so I don’t care. However, I’d be so irritated if our neighbour pointed that out.
Your neighbour is a nob and so is your DH.

OP, do you understand that in a marriage (with a few exceptions) you own everything jointly. So it as much your house as his. I’m afraid you’re being bullied- is this how you want to live your life?

If you google the address it’s freely available. It’s very dickish to bring it up and discuss though. I’d tell him you’re not interested in discussing house prices and if he persists, I’d just blank him.

OP your DH sounds like a dick. The leaky stuff and paintwork can be sorted so don’t stress. Get a plan for sorting out DIY stuff.

OP that's just the nature of new build estates, it was the same for us, our style house was a lot cheaper months before ours, and the last houses built paid the most.

But your DH is the issue here, as has been said.

My neighbours paid £5k for their house...... that's what happens, prices increase

House prices fluctuate. You literally said yourself that demand was really high when you were buying so they could ask a lot more. I do understand how you feel as a year or two after we bought the two houses opposite (same layout) sold for £40k less ... but we bought at the peak of a property boom about 2 months before the market crashed.

Ignore the neighbour.

Your real problem is the way your husband speaks to you re finances. If you've had separate accounts, how has personal spending money been allocated while you weren't working?

To be honest OP it sounds more like the issue is that you need to be able to stand up for yourself - both your neighbour and your DH. I know this is easier said than done but if my DH had those views I’d start plans to leave as it’s so disrespectful.
I put most of the money into our house for various reasons but that has never meant that I got the overall say.
Also if people judge your house they aren’t worth your time.

Don't worry about it, its your husbands money, his mistake!

Your husband is your real problem.

Ask your nosy neighbour how on earth he knows how much you paid for your house - seriously, next time he brings the subject up, ask him how he knows.

Then, tell him he'll have to use the money he saved on the house on paying care fees because he'll have too much cash now tomqualify for public assistance. He'll also probably have to sell his home to pay for care fees anyway 😀 Make sure you tell him.

Poisonous neighbour is minor problem.

Bastarding Wankbadger DH is the real problem here. Tell us more about this Prince among men…

Also OP even if you did overpay that’s your husbands mistake as it sounds like he railroaded you anyway

1. Stop talking to your neighbour at all.

1. Get a joint bank account for household expenditure.

1. Agree a plan for household maintenance, and how it will be done and paid for, with your DH

Why the fuck did he buy one himself then? Idiot.
I bought my house in 2022. In 2021-2022, there was an insane bubble in the housing market where prices went through the roof. People were offering tens of thousands above asking for quite mediocre homes. It’s how it was at the time. It was also a time where you could get a mortgage rate of under 2%. Since late 2022, mortgage rates have risen sharply although they are coming down now (but nowhere near what they were in 2021). So that’s why houses aren’t selling. Your moronic neighbour might want to factor that in. Yes he might have got a bargain, big whoop. He’s elderly so wouldn’t have a mortgage. You do have a mortgage so have probably saved money even if you paid a higher price because you’re probably paying at 2% rather than 5%. Also, over time, it will even out. Next time he says anything just say “you clearly don’t know anything about how property works so there’s no point in us discussing is there” and then chuckle and walk off.

1. Reply to neighbour “oh yes, house prices went nuts didn’t they.” Then change subject.
2. It’s not dh’s money, you’re married so it’s family money and he’s being financially abusive. That’s not what marriage is about. Either get couples counselling or leave him but don’t continue like this.

Ask your nosy neighbour how on earth he knows how much you paid for your house - seriously, next time he brings the subject up, ask him how he knows.

It’s literally on zoopla, rightmove, mouseprice, land registry and a load of other places so I wouldn’t bother asking him that because it’s pretty obvious how he knows.