9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

I saw some of those flashing ice cubes recently. They are so cute. I bet they were a hit with the kids!

Wrong thread

You’d have hated one of my daughter’s parties. We had some plastic shot glasses in the pantry (no idea where they came from as I don’t drink and DH doesn’t drink much and not shots when he does. Might have beem from when my eldest was at uni).

Anyway, DD spotted them as they were brightly coloured and the girls ended up doing lemonade ‘shots’ at the party! I have no idea if they realised they were ‘simulating’ adults doing shots either (I don’t think so) but they thought it was hilarious.

They also had plastic champagne flutes and Schloer with strawberries in the glass. None of them are alcoholics yet.

@Bugling A little girl might wear a crop top because it hot and also because she’s a little girl and anyone thinking it’s sexual is the one sexualising a child. I wore crop tops in the 80’s when I was 8,9,10 because I was a little child. I didn’t wear them so much as a teen because people like you make girls feel slutty if they do.

If you need to say that to make yourself feel better about the fact that you were allowed to show off your body as a child then go right ahead but the fact remains that it is showing off a child's body and it's very sad.

@MrsSunshine2b You allow your child to show off her body? Oh that's so sad. There are paedophiles everywhere. It's not like it was when we were kids! A child/pre-teen wearing revealing clothes is going to make any predators around them, look at them. To say that's not true is frankly, very deluded and concerning. Let them be children ffs they've the rest of their lives to show off their body.

I take it your kid wears gloves and balaclavas too?

Wow, my 6 year old asks for "cocktails" every birthday, fruit juice with a bit of grenadine in the bottom, and straws with animals on, umbrella things etc, it's just a bit of fun!

You seem quite judgemental of this mum, but this is not the thing to be angry about 😂

But what’s wrong with a cocktail with a birthday dinner when you’re older? What’s wrong with kids wanting to copy the glamour of that? She wasn’t simulating shots or glamourising binge drinking/ alcoholism.

This is bonkers. The mum just wanted to give the girls a "fancy" drink. It's exactly the same as putting an ice cream in a stemmed sundae glass instead of a normal cereal bowl - it's special because it's different.

My kids have had squash or milk in a (plastic) wine glass at Christmas ever since they were about two. They love it. We all have to say cheers roughly every five seconds, but they're having a great time 🤣

The world has gone crazy, a mum who gives her daughter wine is upset because at a party she was given a soft drink in a wrong glass. I don’t think it has anything to do with the drinks I think you don’t like the mum / envious maybe of her and the party tbh.

Wtf is this comment, honestly.

She parents her way, you parent yours. Your DD is not going to be 'adultified' by a pink drink at another child party. If she starts to want the things her friend has and you disagree all you need to do is tell her no and your reasons. This woman and the way she parents poses no threat to you or your DD (other than maybe some unfavourable comparisons when DD decides she's 'cooler' than you, which you can ignore) so just do what you do and let them do the same. It would be a huge shame for your DD to be denied this friendship and the occasional harmless foray into a different way of doing things.

But they weren't cocktails. Get over yourself, this isn't an issue to most people.

I hate the way you equate a CHILD wanting to wear the clothes they want to wear, for comfort or just because they like the way they look is "showing off their body." That's a seriously twisted mindset. Not feeling like they have to hide their midriff or their shoulders or their knees or whatever body part has currently been sexualised is not the same as wanting to "show it off!"

There are no more paedophiles around than there ever were, there's just more awareness and less secrecy.

Your attitude is seriously victim-blamey, clothing does not cause sexual abuse.

YABU. At least they were soft drinks.
I see mums letting their primary school kids vape on the school run, and once overheard some other mums at the school saying they let their kids around that age drink actual booze at their parties

Needless to say, very rough school in a Liverpool overspill town

😂

You allow your child to show off her body? Oh that's so sad.

What a weird way to think. 🤮

The experience of my great aunt with a neighbour would suggest there were paedophiles around far before crop tops

a paedophile is a paedophile whether the children are wearing a crop top or long johns.

just like a rapist is a rapist, whether you are wearing a short skirt or tracksuit bottoms

I am SO sick of women and girls being expected to change their behaviour for violent people instead of the violence being addressed at the source. We literally can’t win

Exactly

You really think things were better when we were kids? Or that it matters to preditors what a child wears? You are seriously deluded

I was all ready to say off course YANBU thinking they were being served alcohol, but juice?
Seriously?!
Sounds like you've got massively different tastes (I'm on team you and think TikTok dances and fancy designer crap etc for 9 year olds is ridiculous) but they haven't done anything wrong.
It's a fun, one off party I'm sure your kid enjoyed.
I'd relax and let it wash over you, not worth stressing about.

sounds fun to me wish they had done that when i was young!

This!