9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

You've lost the plot 😆 and just because your daughter doesn't like wine, doesn't mean she won't be knocking back other kinds of alcohol when she's older.

We used to have those fake cigarettes didn't we that were sweets?
Honestly move on 🙄🙄

I’m sure that others will already have said this, but they’re just pretty drinks, not pretend alcohol (unless that’s how you’re presenting them).

Trying to put a child off wine by letting them taste it is far weirder in my view.

Just tell your daughter that she isn't allowed to be friends with this other girl. You parent in different ways and it's something that's important to you.

You aren't going to make the other mother change and you are happy with how you do things so it's your daughter that needs to be withdrawn from the friendship.

So actual alcohol ✔

Pretending with a child's version of a mocktail ❌

Got it 😁

In lockdown, the girlguiding association put on a virtual campfire and one of the things the girls were encouraged to make were mocktails for the “disco” later.

The girlguiding association.

when you’re more uptight than the brownies you’ve got a problem.

As an aside, I had special fancy cups for my daughter's parties and sleepovers. They were plastic but they looked like crystal goblets.

My DD's are eighteen and twenty one now and they don't drink much alcohol at all, they don't smoke or vape and they don't take drugs.

Actually being interested in your looks is quite a good way of deciding not to drink or smoke.

As is sport. Mine are both sporty and therefore are aware of their bodies and not damaging them.

It sounds lovely to me, made it a special birthday. For goodness sakes, it will not hurt a child to have a sweet, fizzy drink on the odd occasion and if it was made to look like a 'grown up' drink, all the more fun.

Chill!

"Birthday drinks" = drinks on your birthday
"cocktails" = drinks made of several different liquids.
If they made cocktails, for a birthday party, then they didn't "simulate" anything, they just had cocktails for birthday drinks.

If they had been tea total adults like me would their non-alcoholic cocktails have still only been "simulated" drinks? Your inability to imagine a non-acholic cocktail just being a yummy drink that's fun to have, rather than a "simulation" of a "real" drink, says more about your relationship with alcohol, than it does about anything else!

That’s can’t be for real!?
for what it’s worth I’m teetotal and my 9 yo had a nails and cocktails party.
i mixed the drinks. No alcohol, just feeling a bit grown up and special.
i haven’t had to take her to AA yet

You would have found my 60s/70s childhood unbearable. We had sweets in the shapes of cigarettes and I went to a school fancy dress event at 11 dressed as a stripper who was famous at the time.

I think it's icky and unnecessary OP. It's the messaging they get from it, it just plants little seeds about what girls do for fun. Indeed, why not milkshakes? They'll have plenty of time for all that, just let little girls be little girls for as long as possible.

I feel sorry for the poor kid with all the skincare crap, she'll probably be obsessing about her image with fillers and botox by 16.

Yes you are being VV unreasonable

Christ. You need to chill out.

I really don’t see how milkshake better than squash or pink fizzy pop. Milk is a minefield for a start as lots don’t do dairy.
2lt bottle of fizzy pop and some plastic glasses from home bargains and it’s a nice cheap fun thing at a party.

I needed a laugh. Good one OP 😂

Since when did squash with fizzy sweets in look like an alcoholic drink?

Please unclench

🤣🤣

I think it's really sad that you think the shape of the glass is going to cause someone to immediately want to replace the contents with alcohol.

I don't drink and my kids have had fancy glitter filled or similar fizzy drinks/smoothies/milkshakes in all sorts of differently shaped glasses throughout their childhoods at various celebrations.
I've stuck cocktail umbrellas in them, put slices of lemon on the side, sugar coated the rims of glasses and I don't even recall what else over the years.

They both think fancy glasses are for fancy/party drinks, but not that those drinks have to contain alcohol and my oldest is in his thirties.

My youngest son has been having those effervescing vitamin tablets in a shot glass shaped like a small Erlenmeyer flask for the past week because he likes the glasses.
He isn't going to become a chemist or a mad scientist because of the shape of the glass.

You are the one teaching your children that those glasses are only for drinks containing alcohol.

I remember at Brownie camp in the late 80s, we were given Shloer in wine glasses at the last night meal. We thought we were ever so grown up. I don't drink alcohol as an adult.

It shouldn't be difficult to grasp.

This is absolutely bonkers.

Has your daughter never had a fancy mocktail on holiday?

I can't see the issue with this at all.

Well Said

Get a grip.