9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

I utter disagree with the skincare/tiktok etc but I think the drinks thing is lovely!

Exactly, it's the hypocrisy of it.
Pure judgment of the other mom for other reasons.

Please get a grip.

From what I can see, this boils down to the fact that the other Mum has a very different parenting style and outlook on life to you.
A bit of time spent round at her friend’s place isn’t going to completely negate all the life lessons and values you have taught her. It does no harm for kids to see that families are not all the same.

Sorry didn't get to the end of the thread. I stopped at the fact you actually give your child alcohol (at 9 years old) and are not happy another parents gives them a children's cocktail.

They didn't pretend to have alcoholic drinks, they experimented with making tasty soft drinks. I did it with a Y3 class once as a maths lesson in fractions and linked it to cross-curricular work in writing instructions in English. Not one child was saying they couldn't wait to add a shot of vodka to their recipe.

Are you saying that only alcoholic drinks can be fun and enjoyable and that children should not be able to enjoy the taste of a soft drink?

But a mocktail is not a pretend alcoholic drink. It is a mixed soft drink, suitable for children, those driving and those who do not drink alcohol.

A little girl might wear a crop top because it hot and also because she’s a little girl and anyone thinking it’s sexual is the one sexualising a child. I wore crop tops in the 80’s when I was 8,9,10 because I was a little child. I didn’t wear them so much as a teen because people like you make girls feel slutty if they do.

And pregnancies....😊

OP has given the sips of wine so that the child goes “bleurgh” and is put off. The other Mum is giving soft drinks made to look like alcoholic ones and OP thinks this will make the children want to drink alcohol.

That’s the difference. But both approaches are a bit silly when the kids are only 9!

Haha! Similar here - we've made mocktails at Brownies, had sleepovers (obvs), and had a pamper night where they made facemasks and put cucumber slices on their eyes!

I actually thought this was going to be they were given some alcohol. I think it sounds lovely for them.

we went to Crete last year, and after meals and in bars they would give us complimentary shots, they gave our 3 and 6 year olds fruit ‘shots’. They loved it! It was just different colour fruit juice and was exciting. They also now like drinking out of shot glasses at home and shout ‘shot time’. It’s just fun for them.
just to be clear I don’t partake in shot time at home.

You didn't like the shape of the glass the squash was it? That's nuts, as is giving a nine year old wine yourself.

I think it's a brilliant idea which I shall shamelessly steal for DGD's 10th b'day in early 2025!

As the mother of a 12 (soon to be teen) DD, strap in OP.

You’re not ready for the next few years.

When I was a child I used to get given Appletise in a wine glass on special occasions so it looked like I had a grown ups drink too. I'm not an alcoholic. I do the same for my children. Never considered it would be an issue.

This can't be serious. You have a problem with someone giving your 9 year old child a mocktail and you yourself give them wine! If this is real your boundaries are seriously confused.

Surely normalising mocktails is a good thing as it shows from a young age that non-alcoholic drinks are tasty and can be fun?!

You would be horrified at my 5 year old and 2 year old having mocktails on holiday which were fruit juice came with an umbrella and a orange slice in a wine glass with a twisly straw! There was no we want it to look like alcohol about it, they wanted a fancy drink and we didn't object to them having a range of fruit juices!

Welcome to preteens.

Seriously this is a HUGE over reaction. If you are this upset over non alcoholic fun drinks the teenage years will be quite a shock.

Get a grip OP

Oh Christ. You are massively overreacting.

She didn’t though, because there was no alcohol in the drink she gave your daughter.

Why would your daughter make the association between a pretty drink in a fancy glass and alcohol?

You give your 9 year old alcohol. That’s pretty shitting parenting and you have no right to get on your high horse about her friends mum. She doesn’t need alcohol to be “demystified”, she’s 9 years old!

We made mermaid bras at my 6th/7th birthday party. Is that 'bad' too? We turned out fine, my sister (2 years younger) joined in too.

Oh I love this idea!