9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

I thought you were about to say the kids had been served Prosecco followed by tequila slammers or something 😂 I would definitely have been on your side then.

This is squash in a plastic glass. You’re being ridiculous.

Have that 🍹

Fuck me. Unclench, for your kids sake.

This honestly calm down..and don't be so judgy. It was just meant as a fun celebration thing.

I agree. But l think we should avoid terms like “slutty” because it merely reinforces the judgey.

If anything the mum is glamorising soft drinks though!

I agree completely, I will always help my child to pick clothes which are appropriate for the occasion and flatter her, but I will never tell her to cover her body. If someone is sexualising my child's body, regardless of if she's in a full length long sleeve dress, a bikini, a crop top or anything else, the problem is with THEM, not with her.

Openly admitting you gave a 9 year old sips of wine you have zero room to talk. It's illegal as well. Instead of ridiculously judging a perfectly fine mocktail think about how this mum and 99.9 other mums would be horrified at what you have done.

‘Birthday drinks’ are just drinks you have at your or someone else’s birthday celebration. If you are 39 that likely does mean wine/beer/cocktails. When you are 9 it’ll be something that’s probably fizzy and probably bright. I wouldn’t associate a pink drink with sweets in it 🤮 as particularly adult!
I think you are seeing something that isn’t there because you do not approve of the parenting generally.

No it's not. It's legal to give children alcohol in their own home from aged 5.

I've never met anyone outside of this batshit forum that would be "horrified" at allowing a child to try a sip of wine, the vast majority have done it themselves and maybe even let them have a snowball or a bucks fizz at Christmas at not much older than OP's child.

Suggesting that a sip of wine is some sort of child abuse is almost as bad as suggesting that a mocktail is an incitement to alcoholism.

OP IS on glue…

It all started when was given a pritt stick to do crafts at a birthday party when she was 9.

I can kind of see where you are coming from OP. I used to have a cider ice lolly from the ice cream van, I just left rehab for the third time. I thought I’d cracked it the second time but it was summer and a hot day so when I heard the jingle I couldn’t resist 😔.

My mum had a flair bartending station at one of my birthdays - maybe 10th or 11th. All with fizzy drinks and syrups and umbrellas in different combinations. We loved it.

And I completely get what you are saying. And thank you for that link.

The OP however also gives her daughter sips of wine to dismistify it, which I don't agree with.

Drink squash out of a plastic flute compared to giving her actual wine seems less problematic to me

Top Deck shandy was my drink of choice.

Thankfully discontinued and nothing else could ever replace it so it was cold turkey for me.

😂 this, all day long! 😂

That's your opinion. Have a great day.

Completely agree.
Pot and kettle comes to mind!

My kids had this on Halloween wine glasses every year. It’s not a gateway to alcohol ffs. My older teen is 16 and I have alcohol he’s allowed, he never drinks it. Don’t see the issue here at all. Also my kids never went to sleep overs. My only strict rule.

If you're worried about a drink in a wine glass at 9, when you've already admitted to giving her sips of actual alcohol then I suggest you lighten up before the teen years
Do you think DD will be influenced by her friends choice of skincare?

But the only one insisting that fancy cup = alcohol is you? The other mum is not the problem here.

I'm not horrified that she gives her daughter sips of wine, more surprised that she thinks this is ok but that a soft drink in a plastic flute is going turn her daughter into a raging alcoholic.

She says she gives her wine to demisting drinking for her 9 year old.

What's she going to do to demystify smoking, vapes and drugs?!

PPs acting outraged at one very minor, normal thing doesn't cancel out OP's outrage at another very minor, normal thing.

OP giving 9 yo an occasional sip of wine is fine.
9 yo having a mocktail at a birthday party is also fine.

Unfortunately, my opinion has no influence on what the law is.

It is not illegal to give your 9 yo wine.

Good God, fill your life with stress of a different kind! Don't you want your daughter to enjoy herself? She's 9!!! Fun sponge!

But again, I'm neither outraged or horrified or whatever word you want to choose.

As I said it's surprising that the OP is outraged and horrified over a soft drink in a plastic flute but thinks regular sips of alcohol are ok because she thinks this will mean her 9 year old will never drink. We all know it doesn't work like that.

There's either a lot of alcohol or alcoholics in the OPs life or she really hates the school Mom because she felt the need to bring up everything that she believes is wrong and inappropriate

And I highly suspect if the 9 year old had been given a sip of wine at the party, OP also would have hit the roof over that