AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

[Usernamenotavailabletryanotheroneplease]

Name changed as I don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship over what could be me being unreasonable. Close friend has recently had a baby. She’s asked for no visitors (fair) but has now announced an ‘open day’ - her words - in which her and her DP will invite all their family and friends to go to their house at the same time to see the baby. Not the AIBU.
In the message invite (copied and pasted to all their friends/family), it states: “Although your presence is a present, we kindly ask for a monetary gift as we have plenty of clothes and toys.”
It’s rubbed me up the wrong way. I understand the request for no clothes or toys, but I feel the blatant request for money is quite crass. I’ve already bought a personalised keepsake gift (not clothes or toys) which I will give so it’s not really a direct issue. We’re from different cultures which could play a part in my reaction.
AIBU or is this crass?

Will there be auditions for godparents?

Do you need to prepare a speech?

How about :
My Dps are Mn cfers
Printed on a vest..

It's badly worded, but to be honest it makes me wince the amount that must have been spent on our son that could have been bunged in his Junior SIPP.

Hopefully all the excess NWT stuff that we took to a baby bank was appreciated though.

Some cultures gift money as standard, but never do they ask for it!

Just give them a card😆

That is incredibly cheeky. We had quite a few newborn clothes for our nearly 9lb ds1 who was born in the middle of a heatwave so just wore vests for the first few weeks. Also some china ornaments as well. That's what happens when you have a baby though. Ds2 was much smaller and a spring baby so the clothes got worn eventually, and the ornaments got out in a box in the loft and then most of them went to a charity shop when we decluttered.

Everyone usually needs cash especially when there’s big life changes but to ask for it in an invite is crass. A present is a gift, a token and whether it’s needed is neither here nor there, it is the thought that counts. It’s not for the recipient to stipulate IMO. Is this now going to be a thing - we’re going to have newborn poems asking for cash after the wedding poems asking for cash 😮

oh ffs get over yourself

😂😂😂

@viques, get yourself a baby doll.

I watched a video where all girl quintuplets were born in Canada in the 1930s. The doctor who delivered them became their sort of manager and built “Quintland” where the public paid to walk around and watch the girls playing, being fed etc… Perhaps your friend is thinking along the same lines, a sort of pay per view of her baby. It’s equally as crass as Quintland was.

An open day?
What if there's a queue at the door as everyone turns up at the same time?!
It's grabby to ask for cash too

@Allthehorsesintheworld gawd, that's awful - thank god we've moved on.

What a soulless transactional arrangement they have devised - very rude and controlling too. I would respond saying something like: 'sorry I can't make it round on that day, let me know when things have settled down and you're free for me to visit'. Then if you are allowed to visit at a later date just take the gift that you have already chosen and bought - once they have received it they may do with it as they wish.

I don't know. Maybe the whole problem is poor wording due to lack of sleep and baby brain. 'Open Day', which makes the infant sound like a National Trust property, should have been 'Open House', as in all our friends are welcome to pop in on this day between these times, no need to rsvp, just roll up.

I love buying baby gifts so wouldn’t want to give cash (I do for wedding but not babies). But it’s difficult to know without knowing if this is normal in their culture whether it’s really cheeky.

Who the hell do they think they are? Cheeky b*ggers! Open day indeed!

What’s the problem ? I enjoy buying baby gifts too.
one of things about it is you only have a short period of time to buy those things for yourself so sometimes it’s nice to get the chance

OP

Your friend isnt just a CF.

She is a CF CUNT of cosmic proportions. Dont bother going round on this bullshit open day.

Fuck the lot of them!

I blame the 3 kings, they started this nonsense.

The problem with presents is that they are never quite what you’d buy yourself! My friend with slightly older kids said don’t take the labels off clothes as presents then you can return them when they are inevitably the wrong size for the season and maybe they’ve no room for loads of toys, not that a newborn has a lot of use for toys! I’d have no problem with a request for money, in fact I’d be pleased not to have to go shopping…

I might go but I wouldn't give them anything. My presence is the present. 😁

Like most people I reckon they left out "but if you're thinking of buying us something" and mis-spoke rather than are demanding money.

Tbh I think this is awful and grabby , entitled etc . It would put me off going, gift giving or even having much to do with them 🤣🙈

Ew that's gross. You don't even need to take a giftas it is.

It is crass to ask but I have learned from having my first baby to give cash. It made me really sad not to be able to buy clothes for my own baby because I had so much gifted/handed down. It is lovely to have an excuse to shop for cute baby clothes, but it's also lovely for the parents to get to do that.

but they don't want them.