Nursery asking me to collect when my DS is not sick

[DDragon]

I know this has been raised before but I'm feeling a little stressed.

My 18 month old DS started nursery last month.

He picked up a cold first week (had a high temperature) so needed to be collected and I had to take 3 days off work to look after him. Which work were understanding of.

He had what turned out to be a throat infection last week so was off another handful of days. Also understandable and work made accommodations.

I received a call today saying that my DS was very upset and nothing they could do would settle him. The nursery asked me to collect him, I've pushed back and asked them to see how he does til after lunch but I have work that's been pushed back from last week that I cannot move.

I appreciate when they are sick there's not much I can do. I just feel like I don't want to set a precedent to both my DS and the nursery that if he's not sick but unsettled that I can drop everything to collect him.

I received a call today saying that my DS was very upset and nothing they could do would settle him.

When they are that upset it usually means they are in pain, eg earache. Are they allowed to give calpol with permission? If not would they be okay with you leaving work to just give him a dose to see if it settles him first?

This, if he usually enjoys nursery and is settled, being inconsolable normally means pain etc, teeth?

He could be unwell. Hand foot and mouth is rampant at the moment. They feel shit before visible symptoms. My child nursery and every nursery I know of have cases at the moment.

If normally happy and settled at nursery I'd say there's a reason and, as inconvenient as it is, someone should pick up. Doesn't need to be you - dad, grandparents etc. Anyone who can comfort.

Have you got a husband who could collect him and take a few days off?

Yep I'd be expecting it to be an ear infection particularly following a throat infection.

Any grand parents who can collect him?

Sorry but if he’s super upset and/or ill, he shouldn’t be at nursery and they are right to ask you to collect him. It’s not fair on him to be with strangers rather than his family.

Have they taken his temperature? Tried Calpol if allowed to administer ? They sound like perhaps they could try a few more things before asking you to collect

Their guidelines are that if they aren't allowed to give him Calpol and if he does take Calpol then he has to stay home.

My husband started a new job last week and is not able to take any time off while doing his handover.

It could just be general upset/still settling in. The right carer in a good nursery is just as good as family

He must be very distressed for them to have actually called you. If they can't settle him at all then he is crying/screaming constantly.
If you can't collect him yourself then fair enough but does he have a dad, or any grandparents around?

YABU. It's putting you in a difficult position with work, but really there's nothing else you can do but get him if they're saying they can't look after him.

My Husdband's Dad is recovering from a hernia operation so can't pick him up and my parents live too far away.

Fair enough. It's so bloody hard to be a working mum isn't it. Any family you can call in for back up?

He is able to take time off - if he was a single dad or your DS was vomitting he'd have to. It might be inconvenient for him to take time off but unless he's literally performing surgery or flying a plane this very moment, it's not impossible.

Unless there’s a temperature or something like a visible rash / vomiting then it probably is just general upset. I think you’re right to ask them to see how he is. I really feel for you it sounds really difficult I hope things settle down and get a bit easier

It's so unfair isn't it?! You now have a load of work to do, a sick child, nursery to pay for when the child is off plus a shed load of mum guilt.

I have no advice to give you, just sympathy 😞

This. It really does sound so hard I really hope things get easier for OP

Go and collect your son if he is still upset. Your child comes first.

I’d try and find a new nursery without this ridiculous rule.

A dose of Calpol at nursery for teething, a mild cold, or ear ache has saved me many a day off work. If my nursery had this rule I’d probably have lost my job by now.

Where's his dad?

Sorry OP, but I think the wellbeing of your child takes priority over work.

It’s not fair to leave him there if he’s really upset.

The nursery’s judgement was correct all the previous times, so you should assume they are correct again.

Welcome to parenthood. It’s tough. Your little one is probably feeling unwell. Hopefully he’ll pick up in a few day but you need to pick him up. Unsympathetic bosses make life more difficult that’s for sure. Hope he’s feeling better soon.

Yes he might be unwell, but equally he may just want to come home. At least consider that people-it's very common!

Our nursery (two of them in fact) were allowed to give Calpol but if they did then you had to come and collect as soon as. They would also refuse children if they knew they had been given Calpol soon before coming in. It's not unusual at all.