To think the modern obsession with people's height is crazy?

[HeightObession]

NC for this.

So, I'm aware this might be an unpopular opinion, but hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

I was talking to a friend this morning who is OLD at the moment. She was telling me about a guy she'd recently met and had been getting to know. Generally everything was positive - he was kind, funny, they had a lot in common...but the deal breaker? He was 5 ft 10. To her, that was "too short", so she's not progressing things any further. Okay, chances are there were other things that she's not told me about, but am I being unreasonable to think rejecting someone purely on height is totally crazy and superficial?

But she won't be the only one. It seems quite a modern thing that people are obsessed with other people's height. Some will reject a man for being 5 foot 10, but be perfectly happy with someone who is 5 foot 11. And to me, it just seems so trivial - because ultimately, your height has no bearing on who you are as a person, and it is purely a gene lottery what height you are. Most men are the same height they were after reaching puberty 15, 20+ years ago.

And splitting hairs over such a small difference in height just seems bizarre. Can you visually picture the difference between someone is 5 foot 10, and someone who is 5 foot 11? I certainly can't.

I know men often get criticised on OLD for lying about their height, but I feel like these days it's cause and effect. If people didn't reject people over something so superficial, and in many cases over such a small difference in height, then men would be less likely to lie about it, don't you think?

Such a shame. And men just want us for our personalities.

Lol. Don’t worry, I’m sure there are some posters on here that would be willing to date gollum in order to virtue signal about not being like those other superficial girls.

As a 5'8 woman I tried dating a shorter man once. He was Italian and roughly 5'5. My height didn't bother him at all, in fact he encouraged heels because I "couldn't run away from him in them". In most instances his height didn't bother me...apart from dancing together.

Dh is just under 6 foot and I rarely wear heels these days so it's pretty perfect.

I do feel somewhat hypocritical though as I'm bisexual and have happily dated much shorter women.

As someone who had a violent father, I feel uneasy with men who are significantly taller than I am. Given the rise in men who regard hitting and choking as part of 'ordinary' sexual behaviour, I would say go for the smaller blokes. It's safer.

It's evolutionary. I'm short and only like tall men.

It will likely be a base instinct to have the best evolutionary advantage to perpetuate the species.

So I like tall men so he can fight off a bear , my children would be protected, are more likely to be taller than me.

I literally never looked at short men when I was dating, and most importantly I didn't notice I was doing that. It wasn't conscious

Of course it's looks - it's part of someone's overall appearance, just like weight, or build, or whether they have tattoos or curly hair.

Nobody is saying it has to matter to you, they're explaining why it matters to them. I wouldn't date a shorter man as I don't find them attractive, just like I wouldn't date a man with a facial tattoo or who was too overweight to do everyday activities.

So I like tall men so he can fight off a bear

Or a dinosaur??!

How much attraction is visual? I think for me it is mainly about character. If someone fancied me for my looks, what are they meant to do when my hair goes grey and I get wrinkles? Trade me in for a younger model.

I don't think it's unreasonable for people to have their preferences and choose accordingly :) if she can't help her preference then better to let the person go, he can find someone who loves him the way he is.

Me too, I'm 5'3. DH is 5'6 and feels tall compared to me. He's the love of my life (2nd marriage, much better choice this time around). I'm much more interested in the person he is than his height, but I also find him very attractive.

ExH and most recent exDP both 6’4”

Current DP of 11 years 5’7”

I know which I prefer. And it Ain’t the tall’uns.

Looks are one part of it, not the entirety. Just because someone would discount someone they’re not physically attracted to, doesn’t mean that physical attraction is the only thing that matters.

This is the thing. I'd say I don't care about height, but my OLD history is littered with rejections from men about the same height as me (5'7"). I think they wanted a shorter woman, to make them feel all big'n' strong. Currently dating someone who's 6'3", who referred to me as "little" as a term of endearment the other day 🤔

I'm 5'9", and like not to feel like a total ungainly giant next to men. I've dated guys a little shorter than me (5'7"/5'8"), but I realise I'm being incredibly superficial saying I don't think I'd go shorter.....
Mind you, given I've found myself single again at 47, maybe I shouldn't be so picky! I think if I meet someone kind, funny, and intelligent, their looks/height are less important to me now, because I'm not so young and flighty!

I do think these are my priorities

• intelligence
• being able to make me laugh
• good conversation
• a sense of morality

Looks are relatively low down the list, though I prefer people who look after themselves in terms of what they eat, physical activity, basic personal hygiene etc.

I live in a short part of the country. Luckily height isn't a criteria for me because if all the weegie ladies were looking for 6 footers (presuming you'd have some other criteria and height didn't give the man a complete pass to be personality-free) it'd be slim pickings.

This. My DH is greying now, and he also has a limp and scars which he didn't 10 years ago. People change but he's still beautiful to me. But that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to the fact he's still a very physically handsome man. And tall.

Just because he's changed a bit doesn't mean I shouldn't have bothered and just gone for someone short. I can love his character and his looks.

5'10, fine

5'5 on a guy? No. And it's not just height. If a guy is 5'5 chances are he'll have tiny hands and feet too.

I'm 5'5 and need him to have bigger hands!!!

No, not necessarily.

People age but that doesn't mean you don't choose your partner based on what you find attractive at the time.

That’s fine if it wouldn’t bother you. But I’ve seen loads of women get offended when men state preferences over body shape.

I've never understood this. I'm a tall woman, I'm 5ft 11.

I've dated shorter than me, taller than me and same as me. Their height has absolutely no bearing on my attraction to them. What it does do though? Invite opinions from everyone else.

I'm currently married and my husband is 5ft 6, so I'm a whole 5 inches taller than him. But it honestly seems to bother other people for absolutely no reason!

I'm a 5 foot 3 woman and people are obsessed with my almost average height! 5 foot 10 is average or maybe a bit above for men. My son is 25th centile so who knows how tall he'll be. I imagine not huge.

I’m 5’9 and DP is 5’8. I rarely wear heels but he isn’t particularly bothered if I do. I’ve definitely dated men who hated it if I was taller than them in heels but, frankly, that’s their problem.

Objectively, I’d probably have said might prefer a taller man, but I also found (back in my dating days) that men over 6ft often express a preference for women under 5’3” so women 5’6” or 5’7” and over are disadvantaged either way.

It is intensely personal though. Height isn’t important enough to me to disregard a good, attractive person but I probably wouldn’t choose to date a very slight or slim man.

I’m a 5’5” man so unfortunately very unattractive. Fair’s fair, we all have our own criteria. I don’t like overweight women, so I’m really hoping for wider availability of weight loss jabs.

It’s hardly “modern”.