To think the modern obsession with people's height is crazy?

[HeightObession]

NC for this.

So, I'm aware this might be an unpopular opinion, but hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

I was talking to a friend this morning who is OLD at the moment. She was telling me about a guy she'd recently met and had been getting to know. Generally everything was positive - he was kind, funny, they had a lot in common...but the deal breaker? He was 5 ft 10. To her, that was "too short", so she's not progressing things any further. Okay, chances are there were other things that she's not told me about, but am I being unreasonable to think rejecting someone purely on height is totally crazy and superficial?

But she won't be the only one. It seems quite a modern thing that people are obsessed with other people's height. Some will reject a man for being 5 foot 10, but be perfectly happy with someone who is 5 foot 11. And to me, it just seems so trivial - because ultimately, your height has no bearing on who you are as a person, and it is purely a gene lottery what height you are. Most men are the same height they were after reaching puberty 15, 20+ years ago.

And splitting hairs over such a small difference in height just seems bizarre. Can you visually picture the difference between someone is 5 foot 10, and someone who is 5 foot 11? I certainly can't.

I know men often get criticised on OLD for lying about their height, but I feel like these days it's cause and effect. If people didn't reject people over something so superficial, and in many cases over such a small difference in height, then men would be less likely to lie about it, don't you think?

That literally makes no sense regardless to what you're trying to say, though.

You're droning on that women who like taller men are shallow, and only like them for their height? Which is absurd.

Every time anyone explains to you that's not how it works and it's a package, and we're quite happy to be fussy until we find everything we want (physically and in personality), you can't reply to it.

Obviously you're in love with a shorter man. Do you feel judged by that? Because no one cares, I assure you. Same way I don't think anyone cares I'm in love with a tall man. I'm very confused by your statements tbh. You make grand claims and then when it's explained you cannot back them up beyond attempted snide comments.

Do you think women with tall men look down on women with short men? Because we don't, but it's weird that you seem to have a problem with women liking tall men.

I like being able to stare into a man's eyes. I am 5ft 6 inches...dh is a bit taller but not 6ft. Suits me just fine. I dont want my nose in his naval!
Lots of men prefer very short ladies...very curious...crotch height i suppose!

my dh is 6ft 3
I’ve only dated tall men 5-11 -6ft 2
Am I shallow maybe but it’s my personal physical preference for tall men
i don’t want to and wouldn’t date someone the same height as me
I want to be able to wear my high heels so a min of
5ft 11 - 6ft if I was dating again

I also wouldn’t date a smoker no matter how tall & good looking they are

DP is 5-9 and I'm 5-10 plus in heels I'm well over 6 ft, it doesn't phase me nor does it phase DP. In fact, DP has never dated anyone shorter than him.
A height preference is common on a woman's wishlist.

You know you can be tall and have all the rest of this amazing qualities too, right? 🙄

I find it so odd that women are criticising other women for having preferences when it comes to their life partners

I love tall men.. to me there is just something so sexy about them. However I also love a beer belly and a bald head! My friend has a real thing about men's thighs! I work with a man who must be about 5.4. It sounds awful but I can't take him seriously as he looks like a child.

I agree that it isn't a modern obsession.

I remember my grandmother being very impressed when I told her that my boyfriend was 6'. That was in 1980.

And in 1814 Jane Austen wrote Mansfield
Park which includes a line something like "Nobody could call such an undersized man handsome. He is not more than 5'9". I should not wonder if he were not more than 5'8". "

Can't check the exact quotation as I am away from home and don't have my core with me!

I'm married to a tall, fairly big framed guy.

I'm 5,5 and small framed.

I found him very attractive but he was not necessarily my type. My type wound probably have been a bit shorter and smaller framed (though with a masculine shoulder to waist ratio).

We only have one child, during scans I was told there might be shoulder dystocia during birth due to rib cage size. We opted for a caesarian (which he'd been pushing for anyway due to animal birthing experiences (farming family)). I don't like to think vaginal how birth would have gone.

My cousin is also married to a tall, big framed guy.
She is shorter and smaller framed than me.

She went for a vaginal birth with their child but had to have lots of interventions.
I wouldn't like to think how the birth would have gone without medical intervention.

So ..... It's not always in the interest of women to mate with tall, large men.

And there is something between "tall" and "runt".

There are plenty of average height men who are strong/athletic/capable etc
SAS or any other special forces men are rarely particularly tall or "big", for example.

I think it's natural to prefer taller and stinger than yourself, big that depends on yourself. (And some women don't mind shorter, esp if they're tall).

I am 5ft 1.5 and wouldn’t want to date a very tall man as I’d feel I looked like a little girl next to him. I’d feel we looked ridiculous together. And I don’t like being loomed over. My DH is 5ft 7.

On the OP ...it sounds like a red pill/incel fake post, to test a point - using a female dominated forum.

Such posts have been repeatedly cropping up.

I struggle to believe a woman would end a relationship with a man she likes because he's 5'10 , not 5'11.

If true, she's obviously a bit odd/ridiculous. Maybe she'll meet someone who suits her over 5'11. Maybe she won't

I think the average height of men in the UK is 5'10.

This is nothing new

Yes exactly.

Most women can see through social and media conditioning when it comes to what we deem attractive and unattractive in our own bodies; how we're encouraged to see certain traits as a feminine ideal. And how none of it as actually real, nor does it correlate with what different men find attractive. Baffling that this doesn't get applied to men.

I love that there are women this ridiculously superficial. It means all of the amazing shorter men are left for those of us who place things like values, intelligence, sense of humour, kindness and integrity high on the list.

I'm a bit puzzled by how shorter men are supposed to have better values and personalities; even though height has absolutely nothing to do with values or personality.

I've met tall men with good values and personalities.

I've met short men who have terrible values and personalities.

(In fact I've frequently seen women being treated really poorly by short men, and I always wondered if they act like that because of short man disease).

People, men and women, can have whatever height etc preference they want; let's not pretend character aligns with height. It doesn't.

It does sound awful. It sounds cunty. Would you say that to his face? Would you like someone to say they can't take you seriously because of one of your physical traits?

This is the thing, we all have physical preferences and that's OK. I've never been into blond men and I'm not attracted to any sort of beer belly. Which is where the sentence should stop.

But there's something about height for women (and weight for men) that makes people go all the way over the line. So you get men who aren't into overweight women (fine) banging on and on about how they're disgusting whales (absolutely not fine, vile behaviour). And you get women who aren't into short men (fine) banging on and on about how they're not masculine, can't be taken seriously, look like children...

What is it about height and weight that brings out the nastiness, I wonder.

I think it is odd too - I had a friend who started using OLD and revealed she wouldn't consider anyone under 5'11''. She is 5'1''. Interestingly, she wasn't that picky about looks - just height. I really couldn't understand it at all or why she decided to share it with me multiple times (with increasing negativity towards shorter men) when she knows full well that my husband is average height at best (5'7'' and I am 5'5''). I ended up not understanding quite a lot about her hence the 'had a friend'.

No it’s 5ft 9.

Short man disease? Well that lays your prejudices bare for all to see.

@HazelPlayer I'm not sure the PP was meaning all short men have those traits, more that short men that do have those traits are dismissed by those who see height as their dealbreaker, leaving them unattached for those who can see past the tape measure.

Personally, I'm not sure I'd have said if you wrote down all my DH's physical traits on paper when I was 18 that I would have gone for him, but we met randomly, he's got the most incredible smile and now is completely what I see as sexy. He's also funny, intelligent, caring, a great father. I love him to bits, he's my rock.

Similarly, I know on paper I'm a million miles away from perfection. I am short, have cerebral palsy, a limp and small tits. I am so glad DH has been able to see past all that.

I know! I have family from the Philippines. They must be a country of abusers. What a twatty post.

I’m 5’10 and I’ve found it’s easier to day men my height or taller. It’s not so much my preference, but that very few men seem to be able to cope with being shorter. Constant comments, justification and ‘jokes’.
TBf I finally married a 5’9 man, who is confident, so I didn’t totally exclude on height. It just always made me wary

Lol, no!

It was just an observation based on a conversation. My friend has been unlucky in love, and obviously I was pleased to hear that she'd met someone who sounded a good match. But then confused for her to not be interested over something that I consider so trivial.

For me personally, I've never understood the tall = more attractive perspective. I've never watched the BFG or seen a circus performer on stilts and thought phooooaar. 😂To me, there are so many other things that I find make someone attractive - their smile, laugh, posture, eye-contact, kindness, emotional intelligence, empathy, humour etc. Height is very far down the list to me.

But it just seems, based on here (there are usually lots of comments in dating threads about men's height) and generally on social media that height is something that people commonly use to reject others over. Even in cases, like my friend's, where the difference is very small.

I suppose I don't have to 'understand it' - but I definitely can't help find it very odd!

Yes, this was my first thought! Trying to get more ammo on how “shallow women are.”

OP- I would like to highlight the other side of this. I am female and 5'10". I have dated men in the past who were shorter than me and I had zero issue with it.

However, it was them who constantly brought it up. Telling me not to wear heels because it made them feel insecure, constantly bringing up my height in conversations, (why?- it's not like I can change it?!), making comments about how tall I was etc. All the while, I never even mentioned height but all I got were constant put downs and controlling comments about not wearing heels. Like fck I am going to let any man tell me what to wear so those men are now exes.

My H is 5'11" and has no issue with my height. I can only speak from experience but for me, it was the men who had issues with their height and took it out on me as a result. This has happened to me multiple times so frankly, it made me wary of dating a man shorter than me as it was so prevalent.

I was also waiting in a shop queue recently and a scruffy shorter man behind me in the queue looked me up and down and said sneerily: "You're tall for a woman arent you?". I said "yes, and you're short for a man arent you?". He shut up then.

If you think its only women who are obsessed with height, think again.

Yep, tall women only wanting tall men doesn't make sense.

Then they have daughters who are even taller and their sons have a higher chance of heart failure (like Neil Fingleton).