DH: don't ever, ever, ever ask me that again.

[Limemouse]

If my DH doesn't pick up when I phone will always ask him, 'why didn't you pick up,' when he answers the second time or when he phones me back.
I admit I will always ask him and will always reply with either I didn't hear or I was busy.

Last week I asked him the same question and he told me I was annoying him with such infantile questions and it was better I never phone him again if I was going to ask that question again

i think he is being unreasonable. It's a standard question to ask.

Presumably he was busy, why do you keep asking? I'm not surprised it's annoyed him.

It sounds like you don't trust him. If I miss my dhs call I might call back and say sorry I missed you I was doing xyz but if he demanded to know why I didn't answer to him I'd tell him he's not my keeper!

Why not message instead of calling

Yabu. It's a real pain in the arse to be asked that. He was busy, that's all. Just ring again in 10 mins or text.

Sorry I’d hang up on u

It's a Mumsnet pile on!

This drives me insane.

I didn't answer because I couldn't.

Whether I'm busy at work, in the toilet or have a mouthful of food in my mouth - I don't owe anyone an immediate response.

He is the same and you are unreasonable.

I don't even ask my colleagues at work that or I would end up in HR.

It is irritating. That's the problem with mobiles. People think they are entitled to instant access to your time.

Stop asking him that question. He's asked you to stop and it must be getting on his wick.

This is the key difference between a call and and email or message: you've no way of knowing what somebody is doing the exact second you try to speak to them, so sometimes, it may not be convenient/practical for them to answer.

All being well, they'll get back to you soon - they will know/see that you've called them.

I agree with PP that it's very childish to expect somebody to be able to answer instantly - and to tell them off if they don't. Reminds me of a baby screaming angrily because Mummy has had the absolute audacity to go to the toilet!

I'd find that very annoying too. It's accusationary.

If a friend was telling you that her husband asked why she didn't answer the phone EVERY time she didn't, what would your advice to her be.

I'd HATE to be asked that every time.

Do you have reason to suspect him of something, are you being controlling or are you trying in some weird way to be humorous?

If it were me;

“I was busy masturbating to the music of Olivia Newton John.“

“I was having my first poo in a month.“

“ I was hanging my boobies out the window for some fresh air.“

“ I was busy filing down my foot callouses“

aka Eff OFF

Sorry I wasn't clear. It would be your comment I'd find annoying or accusationary

That would make me definitely not answer the phone.

Sounds like you think he is doing something he shouldn't be doing when you are calling him

Dear God, what revolting answers - "pathetic", "needy", "irritating". Why immediately jump to the view that the OP is berating her DP for asking this? It can be asked in a perfectly reasonable way - as in 'what were you up to', or 'is everything OK'. Or it could be that the DH is power-playing and purposely ignoring her to 'put her in her place' or 'give her something to worry about'. But no - so many people just jump on the OP to give her a telling off. Disgraceful

OP - if you come back - and I wouldn't blame you for not doing so - I hope you get some more reasoned considered answers and perspectives.

My DH does that to me and it really pisses me off. If I don’t answer then it’s because I’m busy!

I'm in agreement with others, this would drive me bonkers!!!

I'm with your DH. It's got nothing to do with you why he didn't answer.

Maybe it's my age, but if I'm sitting in my armchair, I often can't manoeuvre myself in time to extricate it from my invariably creased over odd-angled pocket before it stops ringing - doesn't mean I'm off having a sordid affair!!

So stop asking?

Someone in my life launches into a whole speech about why they missed the previous call and where exactly they were and what they were doing and it drives me nuts! (Spoiler alert: I never ask why they missed the first call)

Who cares? He’s on the phone by the time you’re asking him.

Are you suspicious of him OP?

I'm going to swim against the tide on this one. If I phoned someone and they couldn't answer I'd be curious as to why. I'd want to know if there was a pattern so I could avoid phoning at times when the person couldn't answer.

Plus, I'd just want to know. I don't think being interested is a bad thing. It's the sort of thing that starts a conversation. They say they were busy - so what were they busy with - you get to find out the things they are doing.

What's the background to this. If you trust him and everything is OK then you wouldn't care what he was busy doing.

Why isn't op answering?

I see what you did there…😀