DH: don't ever, ever, ever ask me that again.

[Limemouse]

If my DH doesn't pick up when I phone will always ask him, 'why didn't you pick up,' when he answers the second time or when he phones me back.
I admit I will always ask him and will always reply with either I didn't hear or I was busy.

Last week I asked him the same question and he told me I was annoying him with such infantile questions and it was better I never phone him again if I was going to ask that question again

i think he is being unreasonable. It's a standard question to ask.

@Wend22 it would be simpler to just report your comment to MNHQ - there's a button for it under the comment. Ask them to open a new thread for you. They will remove your comment from here and reopen it elsewhere.

Hope that helps.

Yep, I'm with your DH. That would drive me batty.

You call him at a time that's convenient for you ... and unless prearranged, doesn't automatically mean that it will be convenient for him. It's really simple.

Is it not obvious that he was busy, unable to take your call?
You really need to ask this every time? YABU

OP won’t be back as she didn’t get the response she wanted. I just hope she takes something from this and stops micromanaging the poor bloke.

Classic controlling person language.
Sorry. You need to change.

Insecurity.

because if it was an important reason then he'd tell you (eg my leg fell off and I was sewing it back on).
if it was a boring reason then its a waste of time telling you: I was on the other line with a colleague, I was driving, I had it on mute by accident, I was having a poo, I was in mid conversation with a friend, I was eating

I think you have serious trust issues.

I always ask and it's always a passive aggressive display of disapproval.

You are being very very unreasonable. And annoying and needy or suspicious.
I'd let you go to voice mail every time.

My DH does this. But his response is always "oh, so she does know how to use her phone"

🙄 It's sooo fucking tedious

I would never ask anyone that.

My wife and I have an two-way understanding.

1. If either of us does not answer immediately it's because we are working OR in an engaging conversation with another person.

2. Leave a voicemail or, if it's urgent, send a text to say "URGENT"

We both accept that we are interesting people to our relatives, friends and others.

n.b. neither of us is an anxiety-ridden person.

Grow up.

Grow up !!

He's probably having a shit. I think it's rude to ask and quite demanding

Top 5 responses to 'why didn't you pick up?':

1. "Who the hell is this?"

2. "Zombies, they're in the house, get help!! [call ends]"

3. "We just finished burying Jimmy the Snitch"

4. "Your sister was still putting her clothes on"

5. "You don't stop a hoedown to answer your phone!"

I would presume he was unable to answer the phone when I called first.

i don’t see why you ask this. It sounds quite controlling of you.

Sorry I didn't pick up, the government was listening in

YABVU and annoying

Hi op,

it isn’t a standard question at all. First question should be “how is your day?”

🌺

You only ask a question like that if you're paranoid, jealous, needy, immature, or you do not trust him. If you trusted him there would be no worry over why he asked. Otherwise, you're just irritating.

It's not a standard question. I've never thought to ask anyone this! YABU

This would drive me nuts. Why do you think he doesn't answer it would come across to me as being suspicious and controlling that you need to ask this every time

I hate this. I’m 62 and my mother STILL does this to me all the time. It feels like she’s checking up on me. Is this how you want your husband to feel?