DH: don't ever, ever, ever ask me that again.

[Limemouse]

If my DH doesn't pick up when I phone will always ask him, 'why didn't you pick up,' when he answers the second time or when he phones me back.
I admit I will always ask him and will always reply with either I didn't hear or I was busy.

Last week I asked him the same question and he told me I was annoying him with such infantile questions and it was better I never phone him again if I was going to ask that question again

i think he is being unreasonable. It's a standard question to ask.

Yup, weird question.

This question would annoy me. Maybe he doesn't want to speak to you or is busy.

I think it's a ridiculous question to ask and can say that I don't think I have ever asked my husband why he didn't pick up....because I already know...he's busy!

Absolutely irritating and annoying but I think the word infantile in the response is overkill. That seems really cutting to me regardless of how annoying you were being.

You're both being unreasonable.

You're asking for no reason ("just do") and getting no meaningful response ever, so it wastes both your time. He's asked you to stop, so why not stop, if you care about him and don't care about asking? It's pretty normal in a relationship for each partner to tone down trivial things that annoy the other, even without deeply understanding or sharing the annoyance.

OTOH, he's a bit dramatic with the "never phone me again" business, especially if that was the first time he'd told you it annoyed him/asked you not to do it.

This is why I object to it so much when people ask me that question. Even I don't even care that I'd left my phone on the kitchen counter while I nipped upstairs to grab a pair of socks, so why the hell would anyone else care? It literally almost causes me physical pain to have to expend energy explaining something so utterly unimportant.

Why ask? Why do you need to know why your husband or anyone else didn’t answer the phone. What difference will it make? None. The question is a waste of time.

It's a standard question to ask.

For a dickhead

Curious why you ask him that? Are you low in self esteem? I mean… I’ve never really asked that after a call went unanswered. I agree with him you sound annoying AF.

Can I please ask why it annoys you. If I miss a call, I always phone back and say, sorry like your mum does. I don't want to be annoying people by apologising.

I can't understand it, because if he's shagging around he isn't exactly going to say ' I was busy ahagging Debra..'

Never ring him again OP - just use messaging.

My H assumes that because I have a mobile phone I should answer within seconds whenever he rings.

"Why have you got a mobile phone when you never answer it when you're out?"

Is all I get if I miss a call.

I'm not allowed to 'bother' him, so I've never called his phone. If I need to say something to him, I send a message. And I don't care where he is or what he's doing

Without getting embroiled in emotions, I simply have a mobile (for which I pay the bill), FOR MY CONVENIENCE, nobody elses. I actually have anxiety so regularly don't answer just because I'm not in the right frame of mind at that moment. This goes for my partner, my best friend, my doctor, the tax man....I don't give a flying f*** who you are, if you don't pay my bill you don't have an inalienable right to immediate access by means of my mobile (again, to drive the point home I pay for. The only exceptions are my kids for obvious reasons

Same. Mine seems to think that I should have my phone glued to my hand and answer him no matter what time of the day or night it is - whether I’m at work, driving, whenever he wants something basically, which is at least three times a day. Boils my piss.

If I don’t answer the bloody phone it’s because, for whatever reason, I can’t.

It annoys me because I don't expect people to always answer the phone , it's ok if they don't and I don't need an apology.

😂

… and I bet these guy’s bosses must loathe the needy partners.

OTOH, he's a bit dramatic with the "never phone me again" business, especially if that was the first time he'd told you it annoyed him/asked you not to do it.
Sounds like something someone would say if they were exasperated. I wonder if OP calls a lot and asks the same inane question when he doesn't answer

Hello is this a new thread?

Yes sorry. Thought I'd done a new thread (new on here)

Controlling people can never articulate a clear or compelling reason for why they're doing what they're doing or why anyone else should consider their behaviour normal.

A phone call isalways an interruption , whether on a landline or a mobile.
I am often doing other things, phone on silent; cant locate it, despite hearing it ring; in the bathroom; if at work, could be at a meeting

How do I delete it off her and start a new thread please?

If you go to the top left hand side of the screen and see the three short lines, click on that and an option will come up “ start a new thread.”

In terms of deleting it I think MNHQ have to do that once the edit window has closed, but you can probably just leave it and people will see what has happened.

Sorry btw about your situation. How distressing. I’m afraid I’m not sure I’d trust him …