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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think some people try really hard to appear 'chaotic' ?

203 replies

AmandaPleaseDotCom · 24/10/2024 09:11

Sounds nuts but I swear this is a thing around my area.

Examples include making a big deal about how late/disheveled their kid is at pre school (when they are 4 mins past start time and the kid looks fine).

Saying how they never clean their house, don't have time for housework etc but the house always seems clean and tidy.

Trying to appear disorganised with things like school tours (all our kids will start school next year) and booking events, yet we always see them at these things lol.

I'm naturally quite disorganised and messy but I try quite hard to disguise this, despite always feeling like the flustered flappy mum. Luckily my DH is Mr Organised so as a family we don't miss out but I just find it so odd how many people seem to almost 'gloat' that their lives are chaotic when they totally aren't?! Am I mad?!

OP posts:
Jeezitneverends · 28/10/2024 09:40

Iminpatchinghell · 24/10/2024 09:39

I’m one of the people who are fairly organised, don’t miss dates, always prepared, cook well, bake well, don’t think my house is very tidy but there we go. I get told, ‘oh you’re way more organised than me’ it’s such a backhanded compliment. What can you say if someone says ‘your cakes look amazing’ or ‘this meal is incredible’, I don’t want to brag and I don’t want the compliment. I just want to do things my way without being pulled up on it. You seriously can’t win, it’s not a competition. If they’re saying they’re chaotic, like it’s quirky, without any comment from anyone else, yes they’re a twat. If they’re not saying anything but getting ‘compliments’ then leave them alone. Just don’t comment.

You just say “thank you” to the compliment

honeylulu · 28/10/2024 10:22

A lot if it self deprecation, very English. As others on this thread have said, no one likes a show off who crows about how organised they are and how much they have managed to achieve so they do the "oh I'm so chaotic, I've only just managed to juggle z, y and z and I'm all over the place haha" which draws attention to the fact they HAVE actually fitted everything into the time available.

Another perspective, I have a friend who doesn't have a lot of natural resilience. She genuinely does find even a modest amount of responsibility really challenging and stressful and needs to build in a lot of downtime and relaxation. Works part time as a TA (afternoon only) so she can do her craft hobby in the morning, one teenage child pretty self sufficient. Yet whenever I see her she's always flapping and telling me that's she's been so busy, with added gasps to stress this. But the thing is I think she is genuinely stressed out and her life does feel excessively busy to her. The fact that I've managed to cram in a lot more is neither here nor there, though I think she's aware of that and needs to get in "I'm so busy" for fear that anyone is comparing or judging her.

GUandAcoffee · 28/10/2024 12:21

honeylulu · 28/10/2024 10:22

A lot if it self deprecation, very English. As others on this thread have said, no one likes a show off who crows about how organised they are and how much they have managed to achieve so they do the "oh I'm so chaotic, I've only just managed to juggle z, y and z and I'm all over the place haha" which draws attention to the fact they HAVE actually fitted everything into the time available.

Another perspective, I have a friend who doesn't have a lot of natural resilience. She genuinely does find even a modest amount of responsibility really challenging and stressful and needs to build in a lot of downtime and relaxation. Works part time as a TA (afternoon only) so she can do her craft hobby in the morning, one teenage child pretty self sufficient. Yet whenever I see her she's always flapping and telling me that's she's been so busy, with added gasps to stress this. But the thing is I think she is genuinely stressed out and her life does feel excessively busy to her. The fact that I've managed to cram in a lot more is neither here nor there, though I think she's aware of that and needs to get in "I'm so busy" for fear that anyone is comparing or judging her.

Could be mental health struggles involved possibly. Some people get easily drained in social situations, and this can add to tiredness.

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