Ex trying to reclaim money from child

[Preeel]

18 months ago my ex went back to university to train to be a teacher. During that time period, he was technically ‘unemployed’ (he did receive a grant, but that’s irrelevant in CMS’ view). As such, the child maintenance calculator reduced his payment to £0. His father, my child’s grandfather, then got involved and said he would continue to pay £50 a week in maintenance on behalf of his son as it wasn’t right that our child wasn’t supported. This money was paid via the grandfather to my ex, then he would transfer it to me.

My ex is finally employed and the maintenance calculator has said he needs to pay £100 a week. However, my ex is now claiming that the CMS should subtract all of the money that his father paid over the 18 months, therefore reducing his sum of £100 a week. It’s almost £4,000. I disagree as this was never the agreement, and I was never told that essentially I would need to pay this money back. It was a gentleman’s agreement if you like between the three of us to make sure our child continued to be supported.

AIBU or has my ex got a case to claim this money back?

Did ex FiL frame it as a loan to his son?

Go through CMS, ultimately none of it is your problem or your childs. Don't let him bully you into giving you less.

Surely CMS wouldn't agree with this

No leg to stand on whatsoever.
What an AWFUL man, so sorry you have to deal with him.

If that was just a casual arrangement while he was not forced to pay anything it's nothing to do with CMS. Is he going to deduct birthday presents too?

His Dad sounds great but he should be ashamed of himself. Have you spoken to his dad? I bet he wouldn't agree with this.

Go through CMS. Even when you use CMS if a dad pays extra and then tries to get it back he has no legs to stand on.

What a lovely grandfather and what a dickhead of a father - what a great reminder as to why he is an ex!

I’ve had a message from CMS asking me to agree or disagree whether he made these voluntary payments of £4,000.

He didn’t make the payments, his father did. So ‘disagree’ in all good conscience.

Ring them, so you can have a conversation with a human and explain the situation. Or get a letter written and signed by the grandfather explaining perhaps and scan it in.

No they were gifts from the GF.

You can't agree or disagree. His father made some payments from the goodness of his heart. That's irrelevant to what the dad now owes.

Do you have any texts or messages about this mony coming from his father?

Technically the payments came from my ex’s bank account though, so it would look like my ex was making these payments…

I haven’t anything in writing from grandfather as he’s very old and only uses the telephone.

Irrelevant! Just tell them what was agreed and it was a gift from the grandad. Your ex can provide his bank statements to prove otherwise which he won't do because he then won't have a leg to stand on. Have you spoken to your exs dad??

Phone him and tell him what his son is doing.

I would talk to the grandfather and ask what he wants you to do. He clearly felt strong enough that the child should get this money did he consider it a loan/advance payment?

HE make NO voluntary payments

They were gifts from the child's grandfather, so no. What shit behaviour this is. Makes you wonder if your ex arranged the payments to come via his bank account with this very loophole in mind.
You may not need anything in writing. Tell CMS that this is grandfather's money freely given to your child while your ex couldn't pay, and ask them to look at his bank statements to confirm this.

a) they weren't voluntary
b) the money was a gift from your child grandfather, given to your ex to pay to you.

So disagree, and if they want proof, I'm afraid you're going to have to ask then to call your ex-FIL (but warn him first)

I think you are going to have a very hard time proving this, if it came from your ex's account

Makes you wonder if your ex arranged the payments to come via his bank account with this very loophole in mind.

I wondered that, too.

Is he paying his father back the £4000 then?

You can disagree with the CMS and tell them it was a cash gift from your DC's grandfather however it's then up to them to decide if they think the money sent from the exes bank account counts or not.

Being a university student wouldn't have stopped your ex from having a part time job even if was a weekend job or a couple of evening bar shifts a week,he could have kept on paying towards his own child and he didn't.

What do you mean by "the payments weren't voluntary?" The CMS said he was due to pay 0, so whether the father paid or the grandfather, it was more than any of them had to pay