Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

[CleverAzureDreamer]

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

It's also interesting to teenage girls as there are a lot of high school Halloween parties

Parties, fine.

Going round doors… 😬 At 16 years old?!

I see or speak to my grandchildren almost every day. Have them for a day and night every weekend, do most of the school holiday childcare, spent every birthday with them, every Christmas, have never missed a school play or a sports day and most years go on a holiday with them. It would never occur to me in a zillion years that I "should" be spending Halloween with them. How strange?

Sounds like the actual issue is that you're put out at not getting free childcare for your 12yo and his friend.

"Why on earth do you think you can dictate how she spends her time?"

Dictate? She invited her and is sad that she doesn't seem to want to come. She's anonymously asking for opinions. Where is she dictating anything?

OP, don't worry they'll all move on to whining about bonfire night soon.

And then it'll be Christmas - don't want to leave their house, don't want visitors, don't like their gift from MIL. It's regular as clockwork every year. Easter appears to be neutral but there'll be a smattering of 'GP gave them too much chocolate' I expect.

If I tried to get my mum to the kids' Halloween party, she'd have a hairdressing appointment, a dental appointment and probably try to break her own ankle to get out of it.

It's literally never occurred to me to even ask her 😂

More ignoramuses: repeat.

I love Halloween and I'm a Nan. If my DD wanted me to go help her with my DGC Trick or Treating and I was free, I would. HOWEVER, I would be incredibly irritated if she thought I was being unreasonable because I had a hair appointment instead! Is it possible you have crossed wires here, ie you thought it was going to be an annual thing and your mum just thought it was more a casual arrangement? You could always ask.
But no, she most definitely is NOT being unreasonable!

Because you get old and tired.

I'm 64. I enjoy getting guisers/trick-or-treaters at my door on Hallowe'en, but I wouldn't enjoy being coerced into spending the entire evening doing Hallowe'en activities.

The OP is looking for excuses to be annoyed at her poor mother for not jumping high enough.

She literally said she thinks her mum is being selfish....🙄

@herecomesautumn well it's pretty self explanatory.
It seems the majority of replies on here elude to adults thinking there is simply no point in celebrating Halloween.
Or grandparents saying "I am a grandparent and I couldn't think of anything more boring"
(Than spending time with their grandchildren)
Is it really so awful to spend time with your children/grandchildren doing something THEY enjoy, even if it's not your ideal idea of fun?? It's a couple hours at most and they enjoy it so much !

Feeling sad would be fine, OP says she feels irritated and has called her mum selfish, that’s very different. Also has drip fed that she actually wanted her mum to go off and take the eldest child and friend around separately to OP and the younger ones so they weren’t even going to be all together anyway!

What total American imported nonsense. I'm one of those that does not answer the door.

OP, are you actually the 12 year old in this scenario?

Older kids do it round my way - it's fun. Each to their own, I guess. Plus, guising has a long tradition in Scotland, pre-dating the American format of trick or treat.

I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids

Translation: I want her to mind the 12 year olds and she’s actually doing something for herself instead

It's all those gangsta grannies terrorising the area at Halloween!

It also depends on your 12 year old and their friend if they need supervision from Nan. Are they likely to be going around egging properties like some teens do? Or is it that your area is unsafe? Why can’t they visit your immediate neighbours alone? Either way that’s going to make it hard for your mum. She probably doesn’t fancy the propspect of doing that now they are 12.

Yeah you thought it would be nice but it's OK for her to think otherwise.
Not sure why your 12 yo isn't allowed to go on their own either.......I'd let mine but he wants to go with his little brother as its their tradition

Round our way, the kids do now say "Trick or treat!" but I do always ask the kids if they're going to sing a song or tell a joke before giving them their sweeties. Usually, it's a joke these days but we sometimes get a Hallowe'en song.

Sadly, we no longer get "Knock, knock we are the Guiiiiiisers!"

Why not? If it's not safe in your area for 12 year olds to trick or treat at 6pm it's not surprising your mum doesn't want to go.

At 12/13 my cousin and I were taking our younger siblings/cousins Trick or Treating. No adults.

The next generation have mostly out grown it now but the older ones, who still enjoyed dressing up at 12+, have always taken the younger siblings/cousins. Only got one under 10 now, the 19 year olds would still take him if he asked.

Clearly she didn't have as much fun as you did

I bet your mum can't think of anything worse than trudging around the streets following to 12 year olds trick or treating. I bet she booked her hair appointment on purpose for that date and time!