Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

[CleverAzureDreamer]

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

Well, no ruder than the majority of nasty, sneering responses on here, eh?

I'm not interested in Halloween either, but I do like seeing how excited the children get as they dress up, decorate the house, share sweets with their friends. Some think it's quite nice to get together as a family and do things that others might enjoy, even if it's not personally their cup of tea.

I'm sure you'll be content sitting at home with the lights off, looking miserable and tutting about those 'bloody Americans.'

Take your kids begging on your own.

Calling posters ‘miserable bitches’ is a very odd response. Sounds like you’ve got some things to work through - good luck with that.

And, as I’ve already mentioned, I won’t be sitting at home with the lights off, looking miserable and tutting about those ‘bloody Americans’. I’ll be joining them, in California, with my kids dressed up. But thanks for your concern!

Good lord. Done my share of that with my own kids. Part of the great bit about being a Nan is not having to!

YABU. Halloween is fun for kids. At your kids ages we definitely would’ve been going round by ourselves anyway and 100% would not have wanted granny tagging along!

I'm not religious, but believe that Easter is the most important festival to Christians, and Christmas is the biggest celebration for most people in this country, even most non-believers enjoy it as a cultural festival - Halloween is not comparable in any way.

They probably burnt a celebratory effigy.

Calling people miserable bitches when they're acting like miserable bitches over something as inoffensive as Halloween isn't 'odd'. Diagnosing a stranger over the Internet as having 'things to work through' certainly is though.

At those ages my dc went out on theor own trick or treating.

People call trick or treating begging, like they think it makes them sound in some way smart or funny. It doesn't. It just announces that not only do you know nothing about this custom but that you have no interest in learning about it.

Ignorant, in both senses of the word.

It’s an occasion that isn’t enjoyable for many people. Why does that upset you so much? So very weird.

It's not a holiday. Nobody is getting double time for working it and if it falls during term-time, schools are open.

AND family. remembering your ancestors. there's a lot of fun, playful, silly stuff, but it's also about remembering loved ones who have gone before you. we always leave out a plate for the ancestors.
it's also about taking account of what you have for the coming winter. in our modern lives that's not the issue it was back then, but it's the festival of the last harvest. there was a feast, because, historically, those animals not going to be kept through winter were slaughtered, and their meat preserved, and those parts that would spoil quickly and not be easy to preserve were part of that feast, along with late fruits.
in a nod to that, we usually prepare food with pork and apples, and things like pumpkin soup (the amount of pumpkins we do, you've got to do something not to waste them)
my bacon, pumpkin and bean chilli soup is a classic.
although not strictly true to it, as bacon is a way of preserving meat. but it tastes bloody good. back when we were THE go to Halloween house in the village, most of the adults would get a disposable cup of my pumpkin soup, and it was always appreciated. especially if the weather was rubbish. and usually a pumpkin and cranberry muffin too.

it was definitely a thing in the 80s. we always went all out, and weren't unusual in doing so.

not as consumerist as Christmas.
we have decorations for both that are packed away and brought out each year. (and in fact, some of my Halloween decorations are out all year because I love them so much. it's my year round home decor) we buy food for parties and celebrations for both.
we don't buy presents for Halloween, but we do buy plenty of sweets and make treats for trick or treaters. there's a lot more STUFF associated with Christmas, but somehow people only complain about Halloween as a landfill situation, even though things get used and re used and gradually added to just like Christmas decorations do.

oh yeah, I'm sure the people that drove from several villages over to see our house were delighted we weren't there anymore. I'm sure all the local children were thrilled that they showed up for the highlight of their trick or treating and a really decent goodie bag and maybe got a few Haribo.

my sister in law lives on the corner of the same road. people WERE disappointed.

Disagreeing with you doesn't make me 'upset' or 'weird.'

And let's be truthful now, the majority of responses haven't been a polite "Halloween isn't very enjoyable for me" response, have they? They've been sneering, nasty, put downs about someone who thought a grandmother might like to spend an evening with her grandchildren, no matter what the occasion is.

Because, as I've said before, the English don't have a scooby do what is happening on these isles outside ENG-ER-LAND?

We (in Ireland) never celebrated November 5th, but we aren't bloody ignorant about the English celebrating it (or at least did).

There is nothing "american" about Halloween except for one solitary thing, and that's carving pumpkins instead of what I as a child carved, the turnip.

Even the more recent interjection, 'trick or treat', superimposed on guising (guising = kids in disguise going from door to door at Halloween), is from Canada, Ontario, the same province where guising is first recorded in North America having been brought over by the Scots.

Ignoramus? Really? Scotland doesn’t have a holiday for Halloween.

You can have a family gathering on any " occasion".. There are plenty to choose from these days
It's likely that DM doesn't place the same importance of Halloween as you do
I'm 59 and Trick or Treat was an American custom... until it wasn't
It's bonfire night the week afterwards so I hope you'll be able to celebrate then

Your level of vitriol for people who don’t think Halloween is worth celebrating is definitely odd, it’s got nothing to do with disagreeing with me. I mean, what a thing to get worked up about!

Most replies have disagreed with op but haven’t been rude. Yours was the first real rude response (apart from the ENG-ER-LISH ignoramous poster who is displaying an equal level of odd…)

Joke surely?

OP hasn't said where she's from has she? Bonfire night isn't celebrated all over the UK for fairly obvious reasons.

Have my mil. She is insisting on an overnight visit so that she can see her DGS go trick or treating. She thinks I am bothered with her taking over 🤣. I’m not! But if it makes her happy and I get to stay inside a nice warm house then have at it.