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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

454 replies

CleverAzureDreamer · 22/10/2024 16:28

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

OP posts:
dreamer24 · 22/10/2024 19:41

@Channellingsophistication
Ooh is it on BBC iPlayer too?! Ah panic over after it disappears from Netflix then 😂

Differentstarts · 22/10/2024 19:42

dreamer24 · 22/10/2024 19:41

@Differentstarts

Yes, but apparently it's only on until 9th November, which has saddened me! It's my go to pick me up, I've seen all the episodes so many times and it never fails to cheer me up.😃

Season 2, Episode 4 is the Halloween one 🎃

Thanks im looking it up now

ChristmasInTheDistance · 22/10/2024 19:42

Drinkdrinkduuurink · 22/10/2024 19:16

Repeat for the English ignoramuses.

What's fascinating in this thread is the English-centric attitude in relation to British (and Irish) life. It's nothing new of course, I mean one of the major reasons the Scots who want independence for Scotland do so as they feel ignored by the English. Plus the BBC (that's BRITISH, not English, broadcasting corporation) is also very English-centric.

The English haven't got a bloody scooby do what is going on in these two isles beyond ENG-ER-LAND

Show quote history

Crikey! That’s quite an unpleasant post!
It’s not a competition as to who “owns” Halloween, Guising or whatever else it’s called, and not who is pushing one or other nation out! The OP was just saying her DM was not coming out on Halloween and she’s disappointed with her… I come from one home nation but live in another - I can assure you that Halloween is liked and disliked in equal measures wherever I have lived and peoples nationality is totally irrelevant.

dreamer24 · 22/10/2024 19:43

Channellingsophistication · 22/10/2024 19:37

@Differentstarts oh the joy of never having watched Motherland you have it all ahead of you! I think it’s on Netflix but also BBC iPlayer. It’s utterly brilliant.

Agreed! It's sheer genius.

Another2Cats · 22/10/2024 19:46

pictoosh · 22/10/2024 19:20

You never know what the future holds so I can't say for certain....but I'm pretty sure if I had a choice between hair done or trick or treating with the grandkids, I'd be getting my hair done.

It's not the same now. Shop bought costumes require no creativity or resourcefulness...making your costume was all part of it. So was hollowing out a turnip with brute force (or your dad's drill) to make a lantern. The smell of burning neep said it was Halloween, not aisles of purple and orange plastic in Asda.

Edited

"The smell of burning neep said it was Halloween"

I've never smelt that myself in real life, but I can just imagine what it does smell like!

User100000000000 · 22/10/2024 19:46

CleverAzureDreamer · 22/10/2024 16:31

@Widowtoo It’s family time? Last year we had fun.

No it isn't. It is not anything even slightly related to "family time" it's about death

Josette77 · 22/10/2024 19:46

Doseofreality · 22/10/2024 16:57

Halloween is only interesting to 3 sets of people : -

  1. under 5 year olds
  2. students who see it as an excuse to get extra shitfaced
  3. Instahuns

Everyone else thinks it’s a load of shit.

Hmmm... I'm not sure which one I fall into but my friends all have a huge Halloween party every year and dress up.

I'll go with teenagers getting drunk. That's probably the closest category I fit into.

User100000000000 · 22/10/2024 19:49

@JellyBabiesSaveLives It's not an American import ffs! Truck or treating began in Scotland. Do you research

User100000000000 · 22/10/2024 19:49

Boomer55 · 22/10/2024 16:46

As a gran, I can’t think of anything more boring, to be honest. It’s an American thing. 🤷‍♀️

Edited

Again, no it isn't! Trick or treating began in Scotland

Josette77 · 22/10/2024 19:50

Cynic17 · 22/10/2024 17:42

Unless you're American, then Halloween is absolutely not a thing. I can't imagine any sensible grandparent wanting to do any of this, OP. You and your kids can surely just do stuff together?

If you can't imagine any grandparent wanting to do Halloween stuff your imagination is sorely lacking.

I know lots of adults who love Halloween.

OP your mum is fine to say no to this year. She isn't into it and that's fine.

Have fun with your kids! 💕

Savingthehedgehogs · 22/10/2024 19:52

Staggering.
Halloween really is for little kids! Your mother really doesn’t need to trudge in the cold as well!!

Josette77 · 22/10/2024 19:53

User100000000000 · 22/10/2024 19:46

No it isn't. It is not anything even slightly related to "family time" it's about death

Show quote history

Life and death is family time. Weddings... Funerals...

12 yo ds and I dressed up as Men In Black one year. It was pretty epic. Definitely a bonding experience.

StressyMcStressFace · 22/10/2024 19:53

HermoniePotter · 22/10/2024 16:40

For goodness sake the woman is allowed to have her hair done at whatever time suits her. What a childish nasty comment.

Show quote history

I think you missed the sarcasm here

wheretoyougonow · 22/10/2024 19:54

Are you Julia from Motherland?

User100000000000 · 22/10/2024 19:54

@doseofreality Well my autistic 9yr old ADORES Halloween and cannot wait to dress up and go trick or treating! She doesn't even like sweets (yes really!) and gives them all away but she adores the fun of it.

Josette77 · 22/10/2024 19:55

I'm Canadian and the sheer horror on MN about anything that might be remotely American is hilarious to me.

Some of y'all really think Americans are beneath you. It's not very becoming.

HashtagShitShop · 22/10/2024 19:56

I worship the ground my niece and nephew walk on and love spending time with them when I can.

Halloween however? Eh. Doors locked and ignored, lights off and TV on with a little bit of chocolate or something sweet and a hot choc.

Going trick or treating with the kids? No thanks!

5iveleafclover · 22/10/2024 19:56

CrowleyKitten · 22/10/2024 19:31

it's sad for her, as she'll be missing out on it. but it's her decision. just have a great time and feel sorry for her for missing out. it's what you make of it. take them trick or treating, have fun getting dressed up, have party food and a spooky film, and have a great time.

She's missing out on nothing. Walking round the streets when it's cold, dark and probably wet is rubbish. My DD is 13 so her/our days of trick or treating are over. I would never in a million years wish to do it again, grandchildren in the future or not.

User100000000000 · 22/10/2024 19:56

@Josette77 For the final time HALLOWEEN/TRICK OR TREATING IS NOT AMERICAN!!!! It began in Scotland

dreamer24 · 22/10/2024 19:59

wheretoyougonow · 22/10/2024 19:54

Are you Julia from Motherland?

😂

BarbaraHoward · 22/10/2024 20:05

Ah Halloween threads. Always full of posters tripping over each other to demonstrate

A) that they know little about the culture of their own country outside of their own little corner

B) how much they are above all things American, even though they would never dream of being so rude about any other culture.

OP, if she's always come it's fair enough to have assumed she was coming this year and be disappointed that she didn't. But it's also fair enough of her to prioritise her hair appointment.

BurntBroccoli · 22/10/2024 20:08

So do you usually send your mum out with the kids while you stay in?

CrowleyKitten · 22/10/2024 20:12

dreamer24 · 22/10/2024 19:34

@CrowleyKitten

Have you seen the Halloween trick or treating episode? It's brilliant. Anne's giant pea pod outfit in particular is... intriguing 😂

seen all of them, many times. it's one of our go to shows when we need cheering up. it's so funny.

BurntBroccoli · 22/10/2024 20:13

Drinkdrinkduuurink · 22/10/2024 17:21

For all the English ignoramuses who know nothing about Halloween.

https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/ten-trick-or-treating-facts-for-impressive-bonfire-chats-1.1983165

Scotland and Ireland started tricking

"A few decades later a practice called 'guising' was in full swing in Scotland and Ireland. Short for 'disguising', children would go out from door to door dressed in costume and rather than pledging to pray, they would tell a joke, sing a song or perform another sort of "trick" in exchange for food or money.

The expression trick or treat has only been used at front doors for the last 10 to 15 years. Before that "Help the Halloween Party" seems to have been the most popular phrase to holler."

__

Yes Halloween is not English, it's an Irish/Scottish cultural event and a million times more exciting for kids than that boring November 5th "penny for the guy" (burning the effigy of the catholic Guy Fawkes) English cultural event that is now dying out as its crap!!!!!

English kids wanting to do what Irish kids (me in the 80s, and my parents and their parents etc. before me) and Scottish kids have been doing for well over a century is not their fault that Halloween is bloody better than that Guy Fawkes tedium.

Edited

Halloween was quite a big thing in the North East in the 70s and 80s I guess due to Celtic connections.
We used hollowed out turnips instead of pumpkins. Still remember that smell!

BurntBroccoli · 22/10/2024 20:18

Cynic17 · 22/10/2024 17:42

Unless you're American, then Halloween is absolutely not a thing. I can't imagine any sensible grandparent wanting to do any of this, OP. You and your kids can surely just do stuff together?

It definitely is a thing!