Mum not coming on Halloween - irked?

[CleverAzureDreamer]

My mum has just let me know she’s having her hair done on Thursday evening next week so she won’t be coming over to ours to go trick or treating and watch a spooky movie with the kids (8, 10, 12). I’m slightly irritated by this as I thought it would have been nice to have a family night dressed up and go round taking the kids trick or treating.
I’ve allowed older DS to bring a friend over to come with us so it won’t be so empty but I just found it a bit selfish for a Nan to not want to spend Halloween with the grandkids! AIBU?

Literally everyone in this comment section are utter numpties!
I'd be pissed too . Halloween is like Xmas for us it's a big holiday in our family and I'd be annoyed if the grandparents didn't want to spend time during this holiday with their grandkids.

They certainly do!
Carved a turnip a few years ago just to reminisce about the smell! Took a very long time!

I’m still laughing at “even Christmas.”

Yes! We did this as kids in the 70s, it would take days to carve the bugger out with a teaspoon and then trying to stand a candle up in it!

We would fasten a string handle too and take it to bonfire night, it usually got thrown in the fire at the end of the night.

I can smell the burning swede now just thinking about it.

😀

turnip lantern

I’d totally forgotten about the smell of candle-singed turnip…thank you for bringing that back to me! 😆

Not the point of this thread, but Halloween is not American!!!

I thought that was odd too! Out of all the events listed, I think Christmas is the one most people would enjoy.

I'm English, we celebrated Halloween as kids in south London back in the 70s/80s, trick or treating but also apple bobbing and stuff. It's always been a thing.

But it doesn't really matter if it's American, Scottish, Irish or whatever, the thing is it's never been a big family celebration festival... has it!?

it always has been in my family. and I'm in my 40s. we decorate together, hand out goodie bags, and when my neices and nephews were younger, I'd go out costumed up as much as possible, to take them trick or treating.
our house was always the one people saved for last, we'd carve about ten pumpkins, had loads of decorations, and some people would even drive over from other villages to trick or treat us. everyone got treats. regardless of their age or species (we'd always have dog treats in too. if you were dressed as a werewolf, you'd get a dog treat AND a goody bag) and we often had warm pumpkin soup and pumpkin and cranberry muffins to hand out too (hey, you carve ten pumpkins, you've got to do SOMETHING with all that pumpkin)
I do wonder how disappointed people must have been the year we moved away.
apparently the people after us weren't a patch on our halloween-ness

I'm none of those things and I LOVE it. always have.

it's not American. they're just really good at it.

Maybe she doesn't agree with encouraging your children to beg?

I’m going to hazard a guess, from the way you’ve phrased things, that you’re American?

It’s not the same in the UK. Most wouldn’t consider it a ‘family occasion’ beyond the people who live in your house, at the very most.

OP has she joined you willingly in the past, or has some persuasion been required?

If the latter, she might have deliberately booked her hair appointment for then so she had a solid excuse.

You are allowed to feel disappointed, but calling her selfish is too much. She's allowed to not enjoy the things you enjoy.

do you only know one person? most of my friends and family love it.

Depends how you define good, to me it seems like a prime example of excessive consumerism. Over all though, you do you, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate, I can see the fun in it; the only problem here is OP thinking her mother needs to be just as enthusiastic.

Absolutely. Crack on with celebrating Halloween if you’re into it. We’re in the States this Halloween and my kids will dress up, whereas we wouldn’t bother at home. But don’t assume everyone enjoys it. There can be other family times on other days.

YANBU to be dissapointed, but I suppose you can't force her. My DD's and I go to a Halloween party every year at their friend's house, and their friend's Nana always attends, helps us decorate, and comes trick or treating with us at the end. I think it's really lovely how she likes to be involved, and her grandchildren seem to adore her.

I would love for my own Mum to be interested but she's a miserable old bitch like most of the posters on this thread, who thinks Halloween is 'American' and sits at home with all the lights switched off on the 31st.

Ooft. That’s incredibly rude. What’s caused you to have such a visceral response to people not being at all bothered about Halloween?

It’s… odd…

Perhaps your mum enjoys Halloween with the kids less than you might have imagined she does ....

it literally is, though. it's the festival of the last harvest. celebrated in many cultures under many different names. from Samhain to Dia De Los Muertos, to All Hallows Eve. all very similar in their roots, all at about the same time of year. it's definitely a festival. whether you celebrate or not.

I don’t so sarcasm.

if they come to me, they're getting sweets. everyone does. ESPECIALLY if they make a brilliant costume rather than a half arsed mask or something from the supermarket or internet. even the dogs get treats here. treats for everyone. I love it. you're never too old to have fun.