Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

[pinkgown]

Obviously we don't have the whole story, but would you be tempted to do this, to take revenge on the OW on your mother's behalf? I think I might, if I felt my mother and my family had been torn apart by her actions.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9j9lpgjxlo

I disagree.

Cheating is wrong, but it is nowhere near that to a woman choosing to post nude photos of another woman due to an affair over a decade ago onto an escort site of all places, post it on the woman’s husband’s business site and send abusive messages to the woman’s daughter.

But this ridiculous notion by bitter women on Mumsnet that having been the OW automatically makes someone a terrible person who doesn't deserve friends or happiness of any kind and should be outcast by other women forever and ever amen is just tiresome now

What is tiresome is the expectation that the person wronged in these situations just slinks off quietly never to be seen again. God forbid people who have been on the receiving end.of cheating should have a voice.

Bitter is a word used to silence women. Particularly, and ironically, on mumsnet.

Completely agree

How on earth is she a risk to others.

A custodial service is absolutely batshit. I hope they appeal her sentence.

In what way is she not a threat to people when her entire campaign was exactly that.

She clearly is a risk to this woman and her family. She is utterly unrepentant about what she did and undertook a long and calculated campaign against them including the partner and daughter of the woman.

Ok, so twenty odd years ago the ow had an affair, and a reasonable revenge, in your opinion, is to share the naked photos on a public platform, harass the ow's child and husband causing them stress and trying to damage the family business.

So what revenge should the adult daughter and husband take on Eleanor? I'm guessing the punishment she gets is adequate for the OW's revenge but perhaps the husband can arrange for Eleanor to be photographed naked in the shower and he can post these online? Perhaps the daughter can arrange for her to be beat up? Actions have consequences after all

She is an unremorseful sex offender. She poses the risk of further sex offences, obviously.

She also sent abusive messages to the OWs daughter.

So to someone in exactly the same position as her, ie a child whose parent cheated on their other parent?

I'm sure she'd have taken it well if that daughter had sent her abusive messages 🙄

'Seems pretty fair all said and done'

Yes absolutely very fair, release domestic abusers early, give men community hours for far worse crimes <as posted upthread> yet give this women a massive custodial sentence for sharing nudes online of an ow without consent .

I didn’t realise that the OW’s husband was a pimp! Or do you mean the phone number was his, not the site?

Everyone involved sounds dreadful. The mother who forgave her cheating partner and then spent a dozen years winding up her daughters about it might well be the worst of the bunch.

No I don't agree with it, silly type of revenge and it backfired. But yes there should be consequences to this sort of behaviour.

She shared the ow's nudes online. She shouldn't have, it was wrong.

Community hours wouldve sufficed. we all know it.

And If the wife of the cheating man had posted the photos (and name and contact details) to an escort website, your point about wronged women may be valid.

But it wasn’t the wronged woman who acted so maliciously. It was the daughter of the wronged woman who, frankly, should never haven been dragged into her parents’ marriage or her father’s cheating.

@Bumcake he wasn't a pimp. This woman posted his phone number on the website along with the OW's pictures.

On an escort site, opening her up to possible SAs, tried to ruin her husband’s business, and sent abusive messages to the daughter, and only changed her plea to victimise the OW and her family.

Not just sharing photos. 🙄

I don't agree at all. Revenge porn needs harsh sentencing whoever is doing it. Community hours never suffice for sex crimes.

No, of course it's not ok.

Ignoring the obvious that sharing others' nude photographs without their consent is appalling, not to mention illegal, all it does is reinforce the fallacy that it's always the OW's fault/that the poor, innocent man/husband is the victim and ambushed/forced into an affair. Men aren't bystanders in their affairs, they're active participants. It's about time they were held to account rather than blame the woman/affair partner.

No this is not OK. It's illegal and she has rightly been sent to prison for it. I'm shocked her now ex police officer sister egged her on knowing it was an offence.

Affairs destroy lives and cause trauma but that doesn't give victims a green light to commit crime.

So what revenge would you have done? What's a good revenge for an affair 20 years ago?

"Or do you mean the phone number was his, not the site?"

Correct. Essentially, she put up naked photos of this woman on an escorting website and gave the telephone number of the husband as the contact number

Yes. We do expect women not to break the law by undertaking a sustained campaign of harassment against a family.

I get that some women on mumsnet seem to think that adultery is the worst crime but it is not illegal. The word bitter is a perfect description for many people on here. He slept with someone else - get over it. Leave if that is a red line for you but don’t allow your toxicity to ruin your kids lives like this family.

I actually feel sorry for this girl getting dragged into her parents mess.
Young/teenage years are also very formative years and this clearly had a huge impact on her. I blame the Mums reaction to it, I believe that's where the anger and resentment may have stemmed from, I expect she was very bitter about it and vented far too much to her children.
I think this sentence was overly harsh given the history and how young she would have been seeing it all kick off between her parents. The girl needs therapy to talk through it all, not a massive prison sentence.

Everyone of them should be embarrassed
Awful behaviour all round.
Only people I have any sympathy for would be the husband and daughter of the ow