Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

[pinkgown]

Obviously we don't have the whole story, but would you be tempted to do this, to take revenge on the OW on your mother's behalf? I think I might, if I felt my mother and my family had been torn apart by her actions.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9j9lpgjxlo

This....spot on.

YABVU

She should have gotten longer! She found out about the affair years after it happened and waited longer to take “revenge”. D

Her father chose to cheat, chose to cause problems in the marriage. Putting the OW’s photos on an escort site is sick and disturbing. It’s choosing to put her in a dangerous situation for something that happened a decade ago.

Too many women put more blame on the OW than the actual husband.

Anyone who thinks this was appropriate needs therapy. I do hope her sister is done as a PC. Not the type of person I’d want to encounter.

I don't think what she did was right or fair but I do think a three year jail sentence is pretty outrageous. She could have glassed her in a pub and got less.

We shouldn't be shortening other sentences because rapists get off too lightly, we should be using other proportional sentences to prove rapists deserve longer.

Unless you have a comparable sentence i.e a man posting makes photos of his ex, harassing her family and abusive her sister, you can't draw anything from the perpetrator's sex.

Is it clear the ow knew the guy had a partner?

A much harsher sentence than any man would or has received, merely because she showed little remorse?

Two separate charges have added up to the three years given.

Cheating isn't illegal, and if it was, it would be the man sent to prison as he was the main perpetrator of that 'crime'.

I agree with all the comments that the sentence is too much, she's not violent and prisons are over crowded. What they did was wrong and crazy though.

This. The affair ended years ago, and the marriage appears to have withstood it. Her family should have helped her deal with whatever feelings she had rather than encouraging her and possibly giving her more information than she should have known.

Also she didn't just share explicit photographs which is illegal on its own. There were various aggravating factors. She posted abusive messages about the OW on an online profile promoting OWs husband's business. She then set up a profile on an escort site using the photographs and put the husbands phone number as the contact. She also sent abusive messages to the OWs daughter.

She was determined to hurt other innocent parties.

Same judge....
https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/sex-offender-explicit-messages-girl-9641254

What she did was wrong, obviously. That said a custodial sentence, why?! She isn't a threat or risk to anyone.

Our judicial system is fucked. They are releasing criminals early yet lock up someone like this? Community service would surely have sufficed.

The CPS guidance is a 6 month term for sharing nude photos without consent. I can't find a record of any man being jailed for 3 years for a similar offence, and think how many men share photos without consent. She is being treated harshly because she is a woman.

@Greenfinch7 She was charged with Disclosing Private Images

https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/disclosing-private-sexual-images/

Given those guidelines, I think the sentencing was fair.

The sentence might seem harsh, but I actually think it's appropriate. Men are sentenced far too leniently for similar crimes - push for harsher sentences for them, not less for women. It was premeditated, malicious and she showed no remorse.
Inexcusable thing to do, and IMO mum and sister should have been sentenced too. A serving police officer!
And as usual, the man gets off scot-free from the chaos and trauma he put his teenagers through.

The irony of the OW's ..."I find it hard to believe a woman would do this to another woman. To say I feel violated is an understatement"

There is a massive difference between what the OW did and what was done to her by. It is nowhere near the same and trivialises the actions of the daughter.

I disagree. She is not remorseful, clearly thinks her actions are ok. So it is likely this woman could commit further sex offences in the future.

Is lacking a moral compass another element?
Is being instrumental in wrecking the lives and happiness of other people another element?

@phoenixrosehere but to say she can't believe a woman would do this to another woman trivialises the ow's behaviour too. All are awful people in this case.

Her actions have shown that she is!

Community hours for someone who is an ongoing risk to others.

People who have affairs are immoral,
untrustworthy pieces of shit. And yeah I think if you play a major part in ruining someone else’s marriage, happiness and future then I’m not sure you do deserve to skip off into the sunset and live happily ever after yourself. I’m not limiting that to just women.

The woman deserves to go to prison. The photos were 12 years old and she harassed the OW. It's illegal to distribute naked photos of someone without their consent and rightly so.

I do question the police woman mum who encouraged her daughter to do this though...

I agree. I think as a society we leave women who have been cheated on to feel they are somehow at fault- if only they'd been nicer/prettier/better dressed/earned more/earned less/thinner/focused on her marriage.....heard all of that when my ex walked for the OW. We are supposed to sit quietly, show no emotion 'for the sake of the.children' and just accept the better person 'won'. We never ask men to accept any accountability for their actions because clearly if his wife had made him happy, he wouldn't have done it.

Affairs are damaging. Too many people's lives blown out of the water for no good reason. What happened is, of course, unacceptable behaviour. But what this clearly demonstrates is the lasting, deep impact of affairs on all concerned.

Maybe they were poloriods . It sounds like they were recently discovered , way after they were taken as the pain seems to be fresh and raw . I would think the husband hid them somewhere and they were discovered and everything cane out .

No. Why has her father been kept in the family with all the blame on the OW?

The sentences should have run concurrently IMHO. I also believe the massive psychological impact of her father's affair on the family should have been more considered.

Personally, I'd have liked the father to have stepped up and done the sentence. Those who have affairs lack any sort of integrity.

Ive always felt a bit differently about this - every woman I know has supported someone impacted by an affair in some way, and knows full well how unbelievably devastating and life-altering it can be … they also are keenly aware of the pressures and expectations put on women in society around relationships. And yet despite having this full and intimate knowledge of the pain caused, they do it anyway. That to me has always been more problematic because you are FULLY aware of the pain your actions cause and are actively choosing cruelty.

men, on the other hand, tend not to be the confidante in relationships (that’s a whole separate issue but it’s how things currently stand), don’t have lived experience of those pressures…. They are entirely wrapped up being selfish pricks.

I am in no way excusing them and - have had my own life seriously impacted by the both being cheated on whilst pregnant and will probably spending the rest of my life caring for someone unlikely to recover from the fallout of their marriage breaks down so am not minimising things . But I do think it’s comparing two very different types of culpability and have held the women responsible as they are definitely more aware of the fall out.