Should I shag the 25 year old

[NotmyrealNC]

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

If my son had had a bloody good time with an older woman I’d have been delighted for him. Of course he may have done, who knows what he got up to in his early 20s.

You mean you didn’t keep a log of the ages of his sexual encounters? That just seems like poor parenting to me…

That's plenty.

There isn't you're right, but the thread title is vile.

I know. Shockingly remiss of me.

There isn't you're right, but the thread title is vile.

It's to the point but mild enough, it's hardly graphic.

Where was the bragging? And try reading the username first before accusing the wrong person.
I give precisely zero fucks what you think. If you'd read it properly, rather than from your high horse, you'd see I didn't know, that he lied to me. You have no idea what i felt or thought having found out.
So go and judge someone else.

A middle aged woman shagging a lad half her age? Grim.

You’re not very good at maths are you.OP’s 35 and he’s 25.Both consenting adults, who can do whatever they choose to do.

Well in 1995, aged 31, I left a two year relationship for a man aged 22.

I met him at work, and despite the age difference he was convinced I was the one.

We've been married now for 22 years and have two almost adult children.

This might not be just a fling OP...

Aww that’s so good to hear, positive.
What l don’t get, is if it was the other way around, op was 25 and he was 35, it wouldn’t be mentioned, would be completely acceptable.
Is it just jealousy, why some have a problem with it or ageist, towards women.Men can do what they like, but women can’t.

Of course women should only have sex with gentlemen exactly two years older than them, whom they met at bible study and have been chastely dating for at least two years. Even then, they shouldn't DTD until they're married but are permitted heavy petting once they're engaged.

Otherwise, the man won't respect you because you're a desperate, low-down, dirty skank. But he's a disgusting player, a disease-riddled pick-up artist who doesn't give two shits about you - so I don't know why you'd care if he respected you?

Must go, my pearls need re-stringing after all this clutching and I need to starch my full-length calico nightgown before bed.

Haha this is brilliant!

Totally agree. If casual sex isn't your thing, fine. But don't say "I wouldn't engage in sex with a man who wasn't hopelessly in love with me and whom I hadn't known since primary school and think if you do so you're a dirty skank you doesn't respect herself. But no judgement."

There's a LOT of judgment on this thread from some quarters. Most seem to be able to be adults about this but a significant minority seem to think that it's impossible for a woman to engage in a sexual act without debasing herself. If that's your view, great, but don't come at OP for considering having sex with (gasp) a younger adult man who (gasp) does not want a committed relationship.

OP, only you can decide if you are emotionally ready and capable. Casual sex does not have to feel like you have been "pumped and dumped" it can be a fun, fulfilling (yes, fulfilling, because good sex is fulfilling!) and respectful experience. And you do not have to be in love with someone to have great sex, in my experience. However, that is just my experience and everyone is different. Some women need commitment for a satisfying sexual experience, which is understandable and which I support.

If that makes me a gross dirty skank then I'll own it :)

Well said @graygoose.

I had plenty of fun, fulfilling casual sex in my pre-marriage years, but also a few one night stands that left me feeling crap. I think it had a lot to do with my headspace at the time, which is why my question is about whether this is a good idea at this point in my life, not the morals of casual sex!

I do love the varied and extreme responses and opinions on MN though. That's why I posted in AIBU and not relationships 😉

I was checking in to see if you have shagged him yet OP! Glad you are enjoying the robust AIBU debate! I am team shag.

So was I!!!!! Also, to see if you are still going to the coffee shop!

I am also team shag, and not at all because I’m jealous.

Ahaha I'll update you on Monday

If you're sure you can remain emotionally uninvolved. If a 25 year old was interested in me, I'd tie him to the bed & ride him like a racehorse. Best of luck.

@Garlicbest Well said.Pearl clutching😂

@NotmyrealNC

I've not read the full thread but I can see there has been the usual pearl clutching!

I shagged the 25 year old when I was in your shoes (and 36 and at a very different life stage to him)

15 years later he's my husband 😂

There seem to be a surprising number of these stories! It's absolutely not what I'm looking for, but I do love all the happy endings.

Bear in mind he will probably be keeping score and swapping stories with his mates.

I'm intrigued OP, where did this lad approach you with his number? Was it just in the street? (Sorry I'm being nosy but I vote for yes)