Should I shag the 25 year old

[NotmyrealNC]

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

I'm in my mid 30s, was also 6 months out of an abusive marriage and had a few wonderful flings all with younger men - youngest was 10 years younger than me so mid-20s.

Zero regrets, lovely time, kept it safe. Got my back to myself and made me feel so much more fulfilled and confident after years of crap. Am in a relationship now with a lovely DP who is also younger but not that young 😂

I met someone younger than me when my marriage was breaking up, he was 29 & I was 44, wasn't looking for a relationship, we got to know each other, had the best sex I have ever had & ended up being in a relationship for nearly 5 years, the age thing never came into it. He isn't 16, if you like him, why not suggest going for a drink & see where things go, he may be just what you need & if it doesn't work out you haven't lost anything.

This is exactly what I'm hoping for, minus the new relationship!

Then you should go for it OP. Everyone is entitled to different attitudes toward sex but I had casual sex before my ex and after him and I never felt bad about it. As long as you’re safe and have your eyes open I think it can be absolutely marvellous.

Also it was extremely empowering being an older woman shagging younger men (I reiterate, they were all fully adults at least in their mid 20s, in case the mob come at me with pitchforks).

My ex had refused to touch me for years because of his own issues (long story) so it felt incredible to be desired again. And in my experience all the younger guys were very respectful, far more respectful than I remember guys being when I was their age!

Me too. I think it’s fine if OP finds him attractive.

You've said you're worried it could go horribly wrong and leave you feeling terrible. No one can answer that.

The age and moral arguments which have dominated the thread are entirely incidental.
The only question is am I a person who only wants sex with someone I know has feelings for me, or am I not. If it's the latter, then go for it.

Personally I find it extremely sad when I hear about women who have been abused in a relationship with a man then they go on to tar all men with the same brush. The last thing on my mind would be seeking out men for sex or accepting proposals of sex.This to me is just another form of abuse on both sides if it means absolutely nothing to both participants.

After the liaison with basically a stranger the ultimate feeling for me would be I've just been humped & dumped. I in turn couldn't do this to a man either so all in all a no go for me. Those who are fulfilled by this & describe it as 'fun' I say each to their own. I would find it totally empty & the very opposite of fulfilling.

No need to feel sad for us! Women can enjoy no strings sex too. It's all fine.

I was also in an abusive marriage where i was made to feel unwanted and unattractive. After we broke up i had several ONSs, all consensual, no abuse or using. Just fun.

Wonder how the pearl clutchers will react to this one - I was 40. Met a very handsome man at a festival. He was 28. We had a quick fling. He then confessed he was 22. I'd had a GREAT time with him! I guess that means to posters like differentstarts that I fancy my mates small children...

A middle aged woman shagging a 22 year old kid? Fucking hell.

Since when was 22 “a kid”? I had a year old baby when I was 22.

You're hardly leading him on.
Obviously he's just looking for no strings sex, probably a ONS, he's certainly not about to fall in love with you.
If you're doing it for the right reasons and not revenge sex go for it.
If you think you'll get hurt if he ghosts you afterwards, don't do it.
One night stands are rarely the ego boost you think they'll be.

I had a baby at 15 I was definitely a kid. Having a child doesn't automatically make you not a kid. But a 40 year old shagging a 22 year old and bragging about it makes you gross

I haven’t bragged about anything. Nor has anyone else as far as I can see. In any event, there’s a world of difference between 15 and 22.

Waouh, the double standards here! Oh but MN is not sexist at all 😂

Absolutely nothing. He's clearly desperate for a shag too, hence she should go for it

Clearly? Really? OP assumes he is, that doesn't make it a fact.

18 pages when the response is obvious. Ask him first what his intentions are. If he confirms shagging only, go for it. Don't just assume it is the case, because you know, he's a boyyyyyy!

But a 40 year old shagging a 22 year old and bragging about it makes you gross

No it's fine. It's two adults who had sex.

Go girl

Most people can reproduce at 14 FFS.

Once again 14 isn’t 22. Reproduction and parenting aren’t the same thing.

Nope, don't do it, just something a bit iffy about it all.

You're 35 and he's 25. DO IT!
PP above saying he's basically a child in comparison - LOL.

Oh go for it op. Have a little fun. 10 years is nothing. I’ve had 15 years younger than me and he was definitely the best I’ve had. I don’t get attached when I know it’s just fun and that’s all I’m looking for. I give no shits about what anyone thinks. Enjoy yourself

A kid?? Get real. He’s an adult! Get a fucking life

If I were the lad's mother I would be horrified at your attitude. Respect yourself.

If I were the lad's mother I would be horrified at your attitude. Respect yourself.

It's creepy to have an opinion on your adult children's sex lives. They're the ones you should be respecting.
Nothing wrong with a woman enjoying sex.

Respect herself?? Maybe she does. Just because some older women like younger men doesnt mean they have no respect for themselves! Women are allowed to enjoy sex nowadays