Should I shag the 25 year old

[NotmyrealNC]

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

Funny you never see an ageing rockstar in his 60s or 70s asking if it's okay for him to shag an 18 or 20 year old girl.

"But also don't want to lead the poor boy on and then bottle it last minute."

Just to say, there would be absolutely no problem to decide against it at the last minute. It is absolutely ok! A lot of teen films from our era might disagree, but watching them is now painful...!

Oh my god yes! And then tell us all about it!!! Don’t let it get too heavy - keep it surface and don’t disclose about your past etc. go in knowing it’s just physical and fun.

I eventually figured out for myself that when I ask those kinds of questions, I really already know it is not the right thing for me. Otherwise it wouldn't be a question.

What’s wrong with being ‘desperate’ for a good seeing to?

There are so many posters who clearly don’t just enjoy the act of sex. I bet a lot of these people are ‘sex only in marriage and only then with the lights off, under the covers’…

That's quite an assumptive leap! 😂

Maybe those posters just haven't ever had to feel desperate? They can wile away their evening knowing they only need to give a nod.

Give a nod to who? 😂

Give a nod to who? 😂

You are coming across as judgmental, it doesn’t look right, to you.There are many people who are 30 and single, or in relationships, want to spend time with friends.Why shouldn’t they be going out to clubs, wherever they choose to go.
People are living longer, it shouldn’t really be, can’t go there because of their age, people can wear what they want and go where they choose.

i dont think you can compare a 60/70yo shagging someone in their 20s to someone who is 35 shagging a 25yo.

My point was more about those who are doing it every weekend, going in hard on it, and how generally people tend to outgrow the kind of lifestyle lived in their 20's by age 35. But I've been clubbing since I was 15, so maybe I just outgrew it sooner, and probably went in harder than some here may have done because of the lifestyle I grew up with in Spain. Who knows.
But that was this morning's debate 🤣

Absolutely nothing. He's clearly desperate for a shag too, hence she should go for it.

Do it! What if he's the best shag ever and you pass it up?! A friend gave me this advice and I've been married to him for 20yrs..

I did this, I was 35, he was 25 we've now been married nearly 30 years! If it feels right, go for it.

Or… he really fancies her and wants to have sex with her? Why does that make him desperate?

Shag away! I did, had a mad partying/shagging 18 months after a 25 year relationship ended, very carthatic!
Stay safe, good luck 🍀

I think there’s a bit of an underlying thing with some posters of believing women who enjoy casual sex are ‘desperate’ or some how lacking in self respect. It’s so grim. It’s just sex. It’s supposed to be fun. If you’re free and single, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a casual hook up. If you don’t want to, then don’t. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just enjoying the act of sex.

Ride him like a prize stallion.

Why not?
You're both adults.

The whole thing is so seedy. This guy approached a woman who was with her mother in a public place and gave her his number. (Oh by the way, I thought mumsnet was dead against men making unsolicited advances towards women in public?!)

He's definitely a player, I would say he hits on at least 3 or 4 women a week and God knows how many he ends up shagging. He's probably riddled with STDs. Grim.

The pearl clutching! 😂

As the saying goes…..
grab the devil by the horns and fuck him up the ass!!!

I did this (5 years not ten years younger) - we are now 21 years married with teenagers......😁!!

Not saying you need to worry about longer term, even just a 'Mr Right now' can be fun!

In my case it actually helped as it was only when my abusive ex realised I had someone else (twice his size) that he finally accepted we were over. I had spent months terrified as he lived locally - getting a new BF was the best thing I could have done although I was worried at the time.

Go for it!!

Do it!

Embarked on a 4 month fling beginning of the year with a 28yr old. After that I had another 4 month fling with a 26yr old!

I'm 40 🙈

28yr old (actually hes now 29) is currently in my bed after we kind of reignited things a few weeks back. Nothing serious will come of it all but I've had some mindblowing sex this year 😜

Not necessarily, he may have not realised it was her mum and genuinely fancied her.