Should I shag the 25 year old

[NotmyrealNC]

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

Oozing, ew.
Judgement'll be the only nasty thing oozing from me 😂

I hope you have by now

At the risk of outing myself, I was sitting outside a café with my mum. He works there. He had apparently noticed me coming in for a while.

Am slightly concerned about losing a decent coffee shop if it goes tits up!

As long as you know he's not in it for the long haul and neither are you, go for gold!

I think this sounds like he actually likes you (not just sexual like a guy handing his number to a girl he’s seen once at a bar) and has plucked up the courage over weeks/months to talk to you. Which is super sweet, but perhaps not what you’re looking for right now. I would definitely let him down gently asap/tell him you’re not wanting a proper boyfriend, even if it’s just by text. Definitely sounds like a bit of a crush on his side, even if sexting/sexual flirting has taken place.

i do think you should just ask him outright what he wants, it’s the only way of knowing for sure.

no need to avoid the coffee shop so long as you both act like adults and are respectful

Definitely don't tell your mother about this!!!

Seriously go for it.

He might think that you're only 5 yrs older than him or even 2 so I'd take that as a compliment. He wants to have sex with YOU so, go for it.

So this guy is a waiter, He approached you at his place of work, and in front of your mother, asked if he could interest you in a no-strings bunk up?

Swing from the chandeliers!!!!!! GFI!!

BUT be safe!!! :)

At* the risk of outing myself, I was sitting outside a café with my mum. He works there. He had apparently noticed me coming in for a while.

Am slightly concerned about losing a decent coffee shop if it goes tits up!*

Oh, maybe it's a case of he likes you then and not just a quick shag! Would you be open to seeing where things took you?

He just randomly approached you and is being this forward ? To me that sets alarm bells off

@BlitheSpirits Try reading the OP again, slower this time.

But I'm talking about someone on here who is a 34 year old grown woman sleeping with a 20 year old I'm struggling to understand why someone in that age group is sexually attracted to a 20 year old and the fact people agree I find disgusting. I'm just thinking of all these middle aged women going round their friends houses for a coffee and eyeing up their teenage sons and people don't see anything wrong with that when I find it really disturbing

You do realise you're posting one of the world's most handsome men.

A man whose career is built almost entirely on his looks.

A man who has maintained his looks through genes, diet and working out. And he's been fortunate enough not to suffer from male pattern baldness.

Most men do not peak in their 40s.

Most peak younger than that.

What's happened to the MN attitude that any age difference of more than 3 years is abusive? Is that just when the female is the younger person?

Are you in a relationship currently with a man and by man I'm talking 30+ do you find him attractive or are you to busy looking at 20 year olds

Because on MN such an age discrepancy gets the pearl clutchers' knickers in a twist.

slightly bigger age gap, but i was 39 when i was approached by a 25yo and i said no, i felt he was too young and needed some life experience. Then Covid happened.

2 years later he was STILL trying it on, and i said yes. By that point he'd matured a bit, had been consistently persistent, built a good friendship with me.

It's been the most fun 18 months i've had 😛

This. Alot of women find out that they can't separate sex from emotions

I think my partner is handsome.

I do not think the majority of 40 something men are better looking than the majority of 20.something men..

Oh and finding your partner attractive is not mutually exclusive with looking at and finding younger men (or women if you're a man, or lesbian, or bi) attractive.

Do you find your friends sons who are late teens early 20s sexually attractive

I have to confess I did quite fancy one or two of them. There’s no harm in looking.

That is gross what you talking 16, 17 or younger because I'm assuming you didn't see them as the child they are and then the day they turned 18 think wow I wanna bang them

I don't have any friends with late teens to early 20s sons.

If I did, I might possibly find them sexually attractive but I wouldn't go there (even mentally) out of respect for their Mums and them. My brain would shut it down immediately., because of ick.

But I do think it's possible for any adult to feel sexually attracted to anyone who is post puberty.
That, however, is entirely different from whether the adult would indulge, entertain or act on that attraction. Anyone well adjusted would shut it down if they were significantly older than the person.

I don't think, in the ops case, that 9 or 10 years older - with a 25 yr old - is significantly older. It's just about ok.
He's hit mid 20s, she's 9/10 yrs older and still quite young, he's the one pursuing things.

I wouldn't imagine a relationship would work out, but if they want to shag each other, that's their business and it's not really out there.