Should I shag the 25 year old

[NotmyrealNC]

NC for obvious reasons.

Long story short, I'm 6 months out of an abusive marriage. Not in any way ready to date or for a relationship, I'm still far too hurt to even contemplate that. But I do miss sex.

Last week, a guy randomly approached me and gave me his number. We've chatted a bit, it turns out he's 10 years younger than me. From his messages, I get the impression he's only after one thing.

I'm really, really tempted. I could really do with a good shag. But I'm also worried it could go horribly wrong and leave me feeling terrible. So, please help me decide. WIBU to shag the 25 year old?!

Do it!

Double standards then, to suit yourself and the fact you chose to marry someone nearly half your age? Nice

I chose to marry someone half my age? Where do you get that from? Lol. It's not double standards at all to say that there is a power imbalance in favour of men.

But even you are describing a difference as you age.

It's not pre-drinking and heading straight for the nightclubs to get smashed, like people do in their 20's, is it? Which is the comparison I was making.

🙄🥱🥱

Forgive me if I've gotten it wrong, I thought you said were 35 and he was 20?

It's a yes from me. Men do it all the time without questioning themselves. Why should we? As long as he isn't a psychopath and both of you want to.

Double standards then, to suit yourself and the fact you chose to marry someone nearly half your age? Nice

We all have our opinions, and we all make judgements. But your level of judgement, and the unpleasant way you express that judgement, is off the scale. I honestly think you need to look at yourself because you don't sound happy.

Why lower our standards and copy the behaviour of men? 🫤

Sorry, but, a 35 year old woman marrying a 20 year old is disgusting. If you don't like my opinion on that, that's fine. I don't think I need to re-assess that at all.

Likewise with the comparison I made, as generally it seems to have been taken and ran with in a different context. Once again, I didn't say people can't go out in their 30's, I compared it to being a different lifestyle to that of your 20's. And I would argue that anybody in their 30's who still acts like somebody in their mid-20's in the context I was describing is probably the unhappy one.

Sorry, but, a 35 year old woman marrying a 20 year old is disgusting. If you don't like my opinion on that, that's fine. I don't think I need to re-assess that at all.

I can't even see where anyone on this thread said that.
Regardless, it's legal and none of your business.

Lots of things are legal, doesn't make it right. And very hypocritical of a MNetter to not want to admit it would be wrong if the genders were reversed.

@Bondii - And I would argue that anybody in their 30's who still acts like somebody in their mid-20's

Can you let us know how those respective groups are supposed to act, just so they know if they're doing it right or not? TIA.

It's not pre-drinking and heading straight for the nightclubs to get smashed, like people do in their 20's, is it? Which is the comparison I was making.

Made it quite clear here.

I was having a great time shagging men in their 30s when I was in my 20s. What's wrong with that?

The societal and power dynamics are different with the sexes reversed anyway, it's not comparing like with like.

So the guys a total stranger.Where is the proof he isn't a psychopath until OP finds out mid 'shag' that he is. I suppose if this is the risk some women take for random sex that's their decision. I still maintain going back to a strangers house for sex is dangerous.There is nothing old fashioned about it. It's a fact & always will be regardless of the era we live in.

What’s that got to do with him being ten years younger? That’s any man.

Which is just the type of bloke the OP needs at the moment, yes? Someone who just wants sex as OP doesn’t want any emotional involvement.

On the face of it, if you know what you're walking into and he's a consenting adult too then why not?

But I'm intrigued about the public space bit. Does that mean he passed you his number in a crowded bar or something, or he walked across the town square while you were waiting for your bus? I think it would make a difference to me not entirely sure why though

Go for it. We regret more the things we don't do than the things we do.

I am actually in a similar situation to that which the OP is described. In my case I am 56 and have been seeing a younger man (32) for sex for over a year. The sex is terrific. He is incredible in bed. The only caveat is that I've started having feelings for him. I posted about it on MN back in August.

Well, maybe because everybody is different and we are allowed to have different tastes?

Sorry to hear this & totally understandable. At least you've proved to yourself you do have 'feelings' I was always under the impression people who had random sex often with strangers were mostly void of feelings.