Is DD weird?

[pastaalover]

My DD who is 13 has been told she is weird by her friends because she showers every 2 days. Compared to her friends showering once some nearly twice a day. They said that she should shower once a day because she is dirty if she doesn't. Naturally this has made her upset and she doesn't want to go to school as she is scared of what they may say. I want to know if she is weird or her friends are being unreasonable.

Not all adults smell if they don't shower every single day.

This. How dis the topic come up?

Either she’s fine with how much she showers and should just ignore or tell them it’s bad for your skin etc etc

Or she wants to shower more which again should be fine.

Just put a shirt in the was for her or buy an extra shirt. It’s not a big deal. She should be wearing clean clothes everyday, sweat seeps into clothes.

I would say teens are quite smelly though, I had to wash my hair everyday because it was very thick and very greasy (no leaving it didn’t work, I tried that, it just got greasier).

I think it's odd to not shower each and odd to not wear clean clothes each day. Why cant you encourage her to shower daily and buy an extra shirt

@AuldSpookySewers

i care about the environment but I care about personal hygiene more 🤷‍♀️

He's fine, he doesn't smell. His dad's the same and not stinky either. My ex on the other hand was a ponger. 😂

Just look at the wild views people have on this shit even as adults.

On mumsnet you will have people proclaim they have NEVER met someone (because they know every single persons personal hygiene) who doesn't shower daily morning and night, wash hair daily, wash their bedding daily, wash legs with a loofa, never wear underwear etc...

People are often wildly perplexed to realize not EVERYONE does private things the same way they do it and instantly get defensive that their way must be right and the other way must thus be 'weird'.

Washing so often is a very modern thing... less than 100 years ago plumber baths weren't even the common norm never mind daily scrubbing yet for thousands of years humankind survived without people dissolving into swamps after one day of not washing.

Ok she definitely smells to other people who aren’t nose blind to her! She’s only showering 3 times per week and wears a dirty shirt on a Friday because you haven’t bought her enough to wear clean each day, that’s gross and I feel sad for her 😢 she needs to shower each day and wear clean clothes each day it’s basic standard hygiene. The fact that her peers are commenting says it all, she smells accept it and help her to fix it!

I don't know how often people should get showered, but I think it's better to shower daily and go to school than shower every two days and miss or have problems at school. If you're trying to save on energy bills, don't turn the hot water on and have her get showered in a wet suit.

Not washing and wearing the same clothes for 3 days because your mother prioritises the environment over your health and hygiene is bordering on neglect. Maybe tiny children who don’t sweat could get away with it but even then their clothes get dirty. Teenagers sweat and produce stinky pheromones. He needs clean clothes and a quick shower - it will have minimal environmental impact in the grand scheme of the world.

Trust me, as teachers we know the kids that don’t get showers and clean clothes and at times it becomes a welfare issue.
A primary school I used to work at even washed clothes for those whose parents were too poor to do so.
Clean clothes and bodies are a basic need.

No, adults do not need to wash every day. If they get sweaty or grubby or have any kind of odour then yes, but not necessarily otherwise. Who made this rule?!

Those who think that adults don’t need to wash every day - do you expect someone to share a bed with you if you haven’t washed that day?

If you stink all over and that bad that you can't share a sofa or bed purely by not having a shower every single day there's a problem. Most people do not need to shower every single day.

@Tink3rbell30

most people like to smell nice 🤷‍♀️

You shouldn't smell bad if you shower Sunday then don't shower Monday 😳😩

The scent of fresh shower gel instead of unwashed skin is a bit of a clue. The most popular welfare pack items are Dove, Nivea and Sanex shower gels and Palmer's, Nivea and Vaseline for lotion.

Back to OP

Other kids are saying child is dirty and should shower every day.

why not help her to shower every day?

why are people telling her to keep being dirty?

it’s so simple. Shower every morning.

What is missing here is that teenage girls are bitchy and if it wasn’t the shower thing it would be something else. Next week it will be someone else’s turn to be made to feel shit. This doesn’t make the girls right but your daughter would do well to find friends who are nicer and not borderline mean.

Am I the only one utterly astounded by this thread? Set aside the fact that the girl's personal hygiene apparently doesn't meet the Mumsnet standard of perfectly bleached and sanitised at all times.

The kid has been bullied by mean girls to the extent that she does not want to go school. I am beginning to see that the mean girls' Mums post on Mumsnet and where they get it from. It is astounding how many posts are normalising this type of behaviour - that is what teen girls do. Well they shouldn't.

If it was a husband behaving the same to their wife you'd be telling her to get her poultry in formation.

Seriously, do better.

I don't think she's weird, but I'd say it's "normal" to shower daily, and I make sure my children do.

Yes agreed, it’s not the having the daily shower that is competitive. It’s the holding the daily shower/ daily washed towels/ pants under jammies etc, to be some collectively agreed standard of hygiene (it’s not) and calling people who don’t or who disagree, some of the MN (or schoolgirl) bingo terms of ‘vile’ ‘gross’ ‘grim’ or ‘disgusting’ in attempt to shame them.

Humans have been making soap for thousands of years and scented oils and other hygiene products are some of the oldest examples of chemistry in the historical record. Before then, various plants containing high levels of saponins would have been used. Multiple religions focus hugely upon hygiene and communal baths are a feature of the archaeological record across the globe, not just in the English pre-war period.

Cleanliness has always been a human concern.

She needs to shower every day and probably needs to use an anti perspirant/ deodorant, and no body sprays. She should also have her uniform blouse changed daily.

Stale body sprays and deodorant on top of sweat, period smells, feet - yes, she will smell.

Please don't encourage her to skip showering daily.

100%
At school, kids get very close to each other. Girls especially get close, often swapping clothes, fixing hair & will notice dirty hair, body odors.

Teachers often lean close to children, & notice.

It’s natural for humans to not linger around odors, maybe make comments to hope to change behavior.

So maybe an adult can bathe less as aren’t getting so close to others. But teens generally get very close in school to whisper, work together etc

(Being physically close at school is why kids get nits & adults don’t)

What happened 100 years ago is not really relevant to this child's dilemma though. The problem with this kind of scenario is that it was ever thus I.e some teen girls, especially young teen girls, comparing their behaviours and possibly mean with it.