Is DD weird?

[pastaalover]

My DD who is 13 has been told she is weird by her friends because she showers every 2 days. Compared to her friends showering once some nearly twice a day. They said that she should shower once a day because she is dirty if she doesn't. Naturally this has made her upset and she doesn't want to go to school as she is scared of what they may say. I want to know if she is weird or her friends are being unreasonable.

I'm a 90s girl. This conversation could and would have happened at my school. This is just petty oh-im-so-clean compared to you. They're only teens, they like to one up their peers

Yes..also this

They are mean girls for calling her weird. However, I do think you maybe need to consider her hygiene routine. You don't have to get sweaty to smell and re wearing a shirt thats been worn all day is likely to smell .Thats plus having non showering days might mean someone has noticed a smell. That’s no excuse for being unkind, but teenagers can be like that. You may be used to her smell too.

She’s not weird but I’d makes sure she has a fresh shirt every day.

Simple answer OP, get her to shower daily and buy a 5th shirt for Friday. I can't imagine a world where an angst ridden teen missing school is the better option. Is there is reason why one or both of these can't happen?

Teen girls can get really obsessed with hygiene practices- and they are also often anxious to fit in and not be different in any way.

When I was a similar age, a friend told me I was weird for not cleaning my ears out with cotton buds on a regular basis. (It had never occurred to me to do so as I’d never heard of it and no one in my house did it). I feel like I got the last laugh on that one now that we are urged not to poke cotton buds in our ears!

She has a choice. She can start showering every day if that's what she wants to do. Or. She can tell the girls that she has started showering every day to shut the girls up and save face. Personally, just to be on the safe side, I think she should start having a shower every school day just to make sure she's not a bit pongy.

I don’t think it’s just girls this age - MN is rife with competitive cleanliness threads. Some girls don’t grow out of this.

Sorry for your DD, OP. It’s hard teaching them when’s the time to stand up for themselves and say I’m fine as I am thanks, and the time to just pretend they are the same for an easy life.

Does she follow these hygiene practices by choice or is this what you have prescribed for her? Is the school refusal a way to try and "force" you to buy her the 5th shirt and let her shower daily?

Having a daily shower is hardly competitive cleanliness, it is what it is, a daily shower.

Friends don't sound very kind, but for the love of God buy your poor DD a fifth school shirt.

Making someone feel like they're inferior to you because they don't have a daily shower, is competitive cleanliness. That poster is right, is happens all the time on this platform and your post proves it tbh

It's socially expected that people shower once a day, particularly among girls op. Shes not weird but id be encouraging her to shower daily, or at least say so x

I think adults and teenagers should shower or bathe once a day. It's different for babies and very young children (unless they get dirty).

Dd 13 has a shower every day and yes I think it's weird not to

It's the same among women. No-one spends ages cleaning their houses and no-one enjoys it! But if you don't at least pretend you're cleaning super frequently, women will shame you. Just one of those things. It isn't a hill I'd want to die on x

What post proves it? hyper sensitivity comes to mind. I don't think someone is inferior for not having a daily shower, as an adult it is a preference, a choice I'm making, I don't care what choices other people make with regard to showering and I'm sure many people don't smell if they don't shower.

If she is that upset, why doesn't she shower daily? It's what most people do IME.

I wouldn't admit to being an avid cleaner of my house as I think it reflects badly on me, like I'd rather get a duster out than read a book. A shower is a pleasant thing to me unlike cleaning a house or laundry!

I hate showers and never have one, only use the shower to wash my hair when I'm either in the bath, or leaning over the bath.

I have baths maybe two or three times a week.

I don't work due to health issues, and rarely go out, and when I do it's only to the supermarket.

Just DD and me here.

Teen DS showers twice a week and wears the same school clothes for 3 days, not underwear obviously).

I’m certainly not going to be providing a clean shirt for him every day.

Have those silly girls no conscience at all about the environment? 🙄

It's a society thing though - it has been decided by the queen bees that women should shower every day even though it's not actually necessary - the nhs says it's ok but not necessary for most people to shower daily if they prefer - sone people should def not shower every day

Given how much water resource the average Brit uses, ecologically it's a bad idea to shower every day

And yes too many people are judgemental about it - ignoring the facts that it's biologically unnecessary, ecologically unsound

Changing society is hard though - but it does happen slowly - after all 60 years ago a weekly bath was the societal norm

Please don't teach your own kids this attitude or they'll be the bullies berating kids who don't need to shower daily. I have never needed to and nor did my friends, every other day is perfectly normal for lots of people.
Excessive showing can upset the skins natural biome and cause dry skin, lots of people do not need to shower daily and if fact are advised specifically not to.

I don't shower daily, never have. I've never thought I smelled and tbh if anyone gets close enough to stick their nose in my armpit then it's quite normal if you can smell body! I shower every other day, unless I'm having lots of sex in which case it's every day 😁

We're living in the age of Instagram and tiktok and Mrs hinch! If your home isn't spotless and youre not seen to be cleaning frequently, lots of women will judge unfortunately

Edited to add that I do like Mrs hinch and buy her branded products 🤭

Are your DD’s friends from different cultural backgrounds to her?