Should he have paid?

[SpookySN]

My boyfriend and I went away for my birthday last weekend. We've only been together for 5 months.

He planned the weekend and requested that I paid half for the two hotels only and said he would pay for everything else. I thought that was generous. I paid half for the hotels.

When we got there, he bought me a pastry for breakfast and then our main meal at an Italian restaurant. It was lovely. He then told me he wasn't paying for anything else because he couldn't afford to. I thought fair enough and proceeded to pay for everything I wanted from then onwards over the two days.

My issue was then seeing how he proceeded to spent his money afterwards. It was a little perplexing. He asked if we could go to a casino and then gambled there. The next day, he gambled on different machines in the arcades or in pubs we went to.

This weekend, when going out with friends, he's gambled again but will be reluctant to go out and do something because he can't afford it.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable to observe this! It's his money after all. I just don't know whether I should be feeling a little pissed off that he prioritises gambling over sticking to his word and paying for things last weekend. Let me know your thoughts.

Haven't read your other thread. This is one for the 'we're very different people so best to end it now' line. Forgive yourself for the self doubts and move on!

He's a gambling addict. Dump.

Oh god please get rid of this one he is utterly, utterly awful. There are actual good guys out there in the world and this one sounds atrocious!

He spent your birthday weekend gambling instead when it should have been all about what you wanted.

Bin him.

Nitpicking?

No, you come across more as if you're trying to put a paper bag on your head, your fingers fingers firmly in your ears and shouting La La La at the top of your voice in an attempt to avoid/ignore or excuse his shit behaviour.

block him.
You don't seem to have much in the way of shared interests or values.

Run, run as fast as you can

What’s going to be the 3rd strike?

He hits on your mother?
He sleeps in the same bed as his mum?
He showers with his sister?

There doesn’t need to be a 3rd strike.

I know someone who lost everything to her gambling ex. It doesn't matter that it's his money now, if you are to have a future together your money will be entwined.

Also, you can keep drugs out of your house but not the internet, so the temptation can be always present.

I’ll repeat exactly what I said on your other thread where he took photos of you giving him head without your permission and showed them to people in the pub.

OP I’ve just read your other threads and I can’t believe you were planning to possibly uproot your 16 year old to move in with this low life after 4/5 months and talking about having a baby with him.
Sorry to say but you’ve rushed head first into a completely dysfunctional relationship, you’ve been absolutely love bombed and the sex has blinded you to reality.
Please OP get some therapy and prioritise your DS rather than your sex life with a man who has absolutely no respect for you or your boundaries.
Putting all your threads together this man is absolute scum. Hes abusive, a liar, a gambler, a freeloader and he’s broken the law by taking photos of you in sexual positions and sharing them with other people.
Maybe look at the freedom programme to understand why you’ve ignored so many red flags with this one.

If he is acting like this at 5 months, then I would dread to think what he could be like after being together a few years. He clearly has a gambling problem and has not a lot of respect for you if he can show pics of you to his mates. I would dump him and move on.

Make sure he has no compromising photos of you and block and move on. You are better off single.

Exactly this!

Gambling is his priority. Sorry.

So even disregarding the other disgusting criminal behaviour on the other thread and taking this thread in isolation.

He took you away for a romantic weekend for your birthday and told you you had to pay half the hotel. Then he took you out fur one meal and told to pay fur everything else and you though ‘fair enough ’ - seriously wtaf?? It’s a long long way from fair enough - he’s absolutely mugging you off. What a ponce he is.

Honestly he couldn’t be clearer in showing you his red flags and you’re shrugging your shoulders and rolling over. No you’re not nitpicking - he is a grade A cunt. And you seriously want to move in with this piece of shit?? Why???

OP, this man doesn’t respect you, and buying a house with a gambler would be a mistake. I get that you’ve been wrapped up in the chemistry, it can make any of us a little blind, it’s a powerful thing, but it’s time to start listening more to your common sense before you make a mistake that you may never be able to fully come back from.

You know you deserve better than this, you just need to believe it.

He is humiliating you and making you feel vulnerable. You don't deserve this. Why do you think that you do? There are better men out there, go find one.

I really hope he doesn't sell your photos to fund his gambling issue

Chuck this one back in OP. He’s obviously got an addiction that he’s putting before you.

I can’t tell if these are all troll posts cos I struggle to believe that anyone is this dense!

It’s so blatantly obvious that you need to dump him and move on, but that’s obviously not what you’re going to do judging by your previous posts.

What’s going to happen is that you’re going to choose him over your child. Your son has already told you he doesn’t want to move away and your piece of shit (POS) boyfriend won’t move to your area. So your son (that you don’t give a shit about) will go live with his grandma. You’ll move in with the POS and get pregnant straight away, cos you’ve already discussed all this only 5 months in.

So you’ll lose touch with your child, you’ll be pregnant and living with the POS, he’ll continue to take pornographic photos of you and show people down the pub, cos he has no respect for you and never did. He’ll continue to gamble, cos you already know that’s what he does, most likely gambling your money as well. That’s if you have any as you’ll probably give up work to have his baby (just guessing!). So future posts will be complaining that there’s no money for food or baby items cos he’s gambled it all away, and how surprised you are by this behaviour, what should I do…blah blah blah…

He sounds horrible. I would find the gambling such a turn-off.

For the love of God run

You're not nitpicking, betraying your trust by sharing intimate pics is outrageous and I’d be reporting him for that, he also clearly has issues with gambling. You can do better, you’d be 100% better off without.

Sums it up well

Ask him to delete the photos and remind him that he does not have your permission to share them and he has already broken the law by doing so. Might be worth getting legal advice if you can, as I think you may be able to ask he deletes it under GDPR if you’re in the UK. Or maybe ring the police just for advice.

If I was you, the only other words I would be saying to him would be ‘this relationship is over’.

Get rid. He's awful.

The last thing she needs is another man. The best advice is for her to be single and work on understanding why she ignores more red flags than a communist party rally