Should he have paid?

[SpookySN]

My boyfriend and I went away for my birthday last weekend. We've only been together for 5 months.

He planned the weekend and requested that I paid half for the two hotels only and said he would pay for everything else. I thought that was generous. I paid half for the hotels.

When we got there, he bought me a pastry for breakfast and then our main meal at an Italian restaurant. It was lovely. He then told me he wasn't paying for anything else because he couldn't afford to. I thought fair enough and proceeded to pay for everything I wanted from then onwards over the two days.

My issue was then seeing how he proceeded to spent his money afterwards. It was a little perplexing. He asked if we could go to a casino and then gambled there. The next day, he gambled on different machines in the arcades or in pubs we went to.

This weekend, when going out with friends, he's gambled again but will be reluctant to go out and do something because he can't afford it.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable to observe this! It's his money after all. I just don't know whether I should be feeling a little pissed off that he prioritises gambling over sticking to his word and paying for things last weekend. Let me know your thoughts.

Clearly not

Sometimes we meet someone who’s an expert manipulator and they can leave a straightforward, honest person reeling and completely confused about where reasonable boundaries lie. I wonder if this has happened to you.

Sending lots of sympathy. I took three years to leave mine and probably twice as long as that to get past the effects.

He promised you a weekend away and you got a pain au chocolate.. Ltb and don't feel bad...
But feel enraged he showed private pics. Consider speaking to the police.

of course you can post about as many issues as you want but its useful for people to be able to see the overall picture.
And you aren't nitpicking, hes a piece of shit

Next

You sound quite proud of the fact!

This.

This! Get rid.

'Lol'

Really? I've come here because I am feeling very vulnerable and humiliated. It's not funny nor is the thought of it turning into domestic violence something to jest about.

He then told me he wasn't paying for anything else because he couldn't afford to.

This is a case where you shouldn’t walk but run very quickly to the exit. I couldn’t think of anything that would make my legs clamp shut faster than a man admitting he’s poor.

Gosh OP! You are a kind / forgiving person who absolutely deserves more than this.

There are so many lovely men out there who won’t violate your trust by sharing intimate photos with other people. If he respected you, he wouldn’t do that. If he understood what a trusting, grown up, loving relationship entailed he wouldn’t do that.

Now he is choosing to spend his time and resources gambling in a way which sounds negatively impacting and compulsive - even on your birthday weekend away.

I wonder if something or someone has been really awful to you in the past and has skewed your sense of self worth. Let me shout it for you - YOU ONLY GET ONE CRACK AT LIFE AND YOU ARE WORTH SO SO SO SO SO MUCH MORE THAN A DEEPLY DISRESPECTFUL GAMBLER.

breaking up with someone is scary, the idea of being alone is scary. But it’s less scary than wasting more of your magic life with someone who has catastrophically failed to be a decent human with the photos, and who isn’t putting you first - even in the first 5 months.

If you are feeling vulnerable and humiliated then surely that is your answer. He won't change so your feelings of humiliation will continue (and get bigger) throughout this relationship so why stay?

Whatever you think of him regarding anything else (he's sweet, he's funny, he's kind), you should never stay with a gambler. Addictions suck the life out of you just by itself. Add on the total disrespect and contempt he has for you, especially regarding the photos, you should run away asap.

I’d be slinging that one back.

Having read your other posts DO NOT BUY A HOUSE AND MOVE IN WITH THIS TWAT dump him and find someone who does not humiliate you and cares more about you than gambling.

Gambling is a serious addiction, run like the wind

Also, wtf, he showed Naked pics of you to all and sundry?

JFC NO

Nitpicking?

Really?

You're not nitpicking

Get those photos of you, delete them, then send this revolting scrote packing for good

What a VILE specimen he is 🤮

Yikes he’s a walking red beacon, drop
him quickly, this has gone downhill very fast.

You are not nitpicking. Don’t give him another second chance. How much money did he gamble over the weekend?

You don't need ammunition, evidence, to make your 'point', or to argue that you are right. Dump and block. He's a fucking disgrace. He deserves nothing else.

Why are you even hesitating about dumping this man's sorry arse?

Raise your bar, OP.

You've left one abusive marriage. Don't fall head first into another.

Dump.

Please, please end this.

Yeet him, yeet him FAR

Dump him via text and then block him.

Sorted.